Rifftrax Live Battles Jack-O, Not That One

This is me in a movie theater for the first time since February, thanks to Dr. Trump.
To be honest, if there were movies worth risking coronavirus for, I would go to an Imax theater, since I got a Galaxy gift card at a discount.
Sadly, Tenet ain't it.

However, Rifftrax is a different matter.
At this time, we were supposed to see a TV-movie knockoff of the Amityville Horror involving an evil lamp. Thanks to the pandemic, we have to wait a year for that.

This year, instead, we got a movie called Jack-O, about an evil pumpkin demon who's gunning for the ancestors of the family who offed him.

To be honest, having a VOD at theaters is just not the same as a live show. The excitement is not there. That's why Jack-O was a bit dull, but good considering the circumstances.

Anyway, the movie is about a nerdy kid named Sean Kelly, the ancestor of the last guy who killed Jack-O at the risk of his own life.
Thanks to some drunk teens who like Hamm's Special Light a bit too much, Jack-O is revived and starts killing people. They include one of the teens and a mean grocer who doesn't give out candy.

The parents have no idea, but a strange woman with Billy Squier hair seems to know something, and decides to get too close to Sean.
A really sexy babysitter played by Leanna Quigley (a horror film superstar) also figures into all of this.

A big question is why the movie included cameos by John Carradine (as a so-called wizard) and Cameron Mitchell (as a TV horror host), since both died before the movie was done.
Also, how did they get Carradine if he died seven years before this movie was made? He did look Photoshopped in there (but IMDB hints this may have come from stock footage and why this was the reason behind this movie). 
If both were healthier at the time, we could have had a knockoff of Fright Night.

Also, the opening titles has "Jack-O" and the word "Lantern". Were they worried people would think the movie had Michael Jackson in it?

On top of that, they come up with a really dumb way to kill the Pumpkin Guy. Let's say it's an insult to the "chosen one" cliche.

The riffing was pretty good, though, with a lot of variety of subjects from Equus and  Billy Joel to Tik Tok and My Pillow.
Some examples:

"Pumpkinhead"
What a great new insult for Trump on Twitter

Jack-O's at the mean grocer's house
I need directions to Ichabod Crane's house

The wife of the guy who's trying to kill Jack-O in 1915
I wonder if the Sears Roebuck catalog sells new husbands.

Before the movie there was a short about Halloween safety that was also shown during the Mads (Trace and TV's Frank) festival of shorts the night before. Granted, there aren't too many Halloween safety shorts, but maybe they should have dug a bit deeper.
I still say the kid that had to change his robot costume to make it safer was actually wearing a ballot box, and Rifftrax should have made a riff from that.
Actually, Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl have a better Halloween short, plus other clips with this offering at the Rifftrax site.

As far as going to the movies was concerned, it wasn't that different than the old days. There was only a plexiglass shield to protect the ticket takers, and posters about how the theater was staying COVID-free. If only there were movies that would get them back, 
There are....but at streaming services.

By the way, an R-rated version of Jack-O is now available on Rifftrax. It means seeing the baby sitter in the shower, in a pervy way, plus some bloodier scenes. 
Is this what Frankie Goes to Hollywood meant when they said "Are we living in a land where sex and horror are the new gods?"
In the 1990s home video world, pretty much. 

Rifftrax Provides Debate Relief With Starship Troopers Online Show

This group of citizens are just as happy as those who chose Rifftrax's online presentation of Starship Troopers instead of the political cage match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden in Cleveland Tuesday night.
If the bugs from that movie also were part of the debate, they would've won based on their coronavirus plan and support for Medicare For All. They'd be too smart to eat Trump.

Anyway, the third attempt by Rifftrax to show a movie via Scener was the best attempt of all when Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy figured out if they turned off their cameras but left their mikes on to riff, it would be a smooth show. 
It was. Fathom Events may have something to worry about now.
The only problem was that the pre-game show was 45 minutes late because of problems getting Scener off the ground. Considering the show started 15 minutes after the debate started, it may have been the alternative people were looking for.

Otherwise, it was a great show. Anyone who's seen the Mads' online shows would have been happy with this show. It was just like the live show seven years ago except no gorillagrams were there to cover Diz's bare chest...or hide Carmen's face trying to look smart.

The movie, of course, is a "war movie" where young teens from the Beverly Hills section of Buenos Aires become "citizens" fighting big bugs from outer space. It's supposed to be satire, and could have been with better actors.
Just remember one thing, whatever Jake Busey was in that movie, he outgrew it and became better looking by Stranger Things (yes, he's in season three). 

The riffs are about the same as the mp3, with some updates, like Denise Richards as Carmen flying a ship while thinking "I'm going to be a Real Housewife".
Surprisingly, no Trump or coronavirus jokes, but there were these...

"Rico"
Polo

Diz asks Rico why they never got together
Well, crucifying a squirrel on my front yard...(actually she was way sexier than Carmen)

"I'm going for federal service"
I'm going to be a mailman

Carmen is in a Dear John letter to Rico (which winds up not being that)
Let me tell you about the Flex Belt
and of course, Rico's sad
Just like my childhood letter to Captain Kangaroo

"We thought we were smarter than the bugs"
Just like Elmer thought he was smarter than Bugs

Diz and Rico have sex
Now call me Saber Raine
She later dies in battle
Give my hair to Felicity (or is it Zorii Bliss?)

Then Carmen and Zander meet the Big Bug
Van Morrison has not aged well (maybe the only coronavirus joke after all)

There were also riffs on How I Met Your Mother, Pretty in Pink, United Airlines, Chris Farley, Twitter and Albert Knobbs. Again, though, the riff from the Scener show is about the same as the mp3.
You can get the riff at the Rifftrax site.
Next up, coronavirus pandemic pending, people can see a VOD Halloween show on three weeks in theaters. The movie is Jack-O, and it's about a scarecrow that kills people.
It also includes Rifftrax staples John Carradine and Cameron Mitchell....sort of.
Some of the gore is also taken out to make it PG-13, but there will be a horrifying short. The event will be a regular VOD about two months later.

Rifftrax Tries Live Online Riffing, Gets Stuck In Upside Down For A While

After the country was overrun by the coronavirus, media companies have been forced to provide us with entertainment through cable or streaming channels. That's why we got several concerts or Zoom gatherings at first, followed by more complex events.

Since Rifftrax's theater events have been in limbo thanks to the pandemic (we're still waiting for Hobgoblins, which will be shown in theaters just before Halloween...we hope), the gang decided to experiment with something called Scener, where a couple thousand people can see the same screen and respond with others. The idea was to have Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy riff the first episode of Stranger Things while the viewers also rant via text. It was similar to The Mads doing an online riff on Glen or Glenda recently. The viewers were mostly either backers through Kickstarter or Patreon.

It was a rough first voyage for the crew, more glitchy than the live broadcast of MST3K's final day of their Kickstarter campaign. It started about five minutes late, and the tech crew had a tough time trying to get all three riffers online. At one point, Bill's mike was down and Kevin and Mike had to reboot like crazy to be heard. It was something to see.

Also, Mike was singing like Bing Crosby while coming up with puns. For example, he thought about a broken golf club that was "Stranger Pings" or how Chandler from Friends would show up in a spinoff called "Stranger Bings". This was while he couldn't hear or see anything else.
Ah, bloopers.

Once they got past the opening credits at around 6 PM Pacific, it worked very well. All three riffers were online, the video lagged a bit, but it worked great.
This shows Mike and the guys should try a couple more "beta tests" before making this the alternative to Fathom Events shows since nearly all theaters are closed for now, They have riffed on Game of Thrones, Westworld and Walking Dead's first episodes. They can use those for future beta tests or maybe a chapter from the Batman serial.

OK, now, how about the riffs?
They were rather 80s-centric, even commenting on what songs were being played in the background.
Again, they got much better once the Scener process worked better.

Now, let's list a few:

A scientist at the Hawkins lab runs into an elevator after something goes wrong (natch)
The elevator blood from The Shining is very late today.

Chief Hopper makes his first appearance
My Joe Don Baker Detector is going off the charts

The scientists at the lab get into hazmat suits before they confront the Upside Down
They're going to the grocery store in 2020 (only current riff)

Hopper talking to Will's friends:  One at a damn time
My personal feeling about Marvel movies

Eleven stares at a fan and makes it stop
Kubrick stare. Everybody duck!

Joyce, Will's mom, answers the phone, hoping for news
Do you like scary movies? Oops, sorry, wrong number.

This version, different from the "Just the Jokes"version, also included riffs on Toto, Molly Ringwald, Schlitz, Delaware, and Stand By Me.

The riff for Stranger Things is available now at the website. It can be downloaded into the app, and people can synch it up if they see it on Netflix, or have the download or the DVD set

Bride of the Gorilla, As Seen By Rifftrax and ICWXP

Recently, Rifftrax took on Bride of the Gorilla, with a pre-Perry Mason Raymond Burr as a guy who thinks he's turning into a gorilla after killing his boss and marrying his wife. It also includes Lon Chaney Jr. as the local sheriff who suspects something but can't prove it. Ironside, he ain't

This is the second time RT has taken on a movie that was previously riffed by Rikk Wolf and Incognito Cinema Warriors XP (the other time was Bloody Pit of Horror, which also included a short that Rifftrax approached in a live show).

Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl riffed this movie in their usually gossipy and amusing way. They told a lot of TV jokes, along with ape humor including Planet of the Apes.

The ICW version was more aggressive with jokes that still had a punch even after a decade. The only difference in these two versions is who's riffing on this movie, housewives or frat guys.
The Rifftrax version is also more complete. ICW's version. It cut a big chunk after Barney came home from the jungle the first time. Pity, since it shows Burr as a decent leading man.

Also, it's next to impossible to get a copy of the ICW version. Good thing I got it more than a decade ago, just after Rifftrax was getting off the ground.

So, time to compare riffs:

The jungle stock footage includes a leopard

RT:  And to think I once worked with Cary Grant
ICW:  It ain't easy being cheesy

Burr as Barney shows up

RT: Boy, do I hate Hamilton Burger
ICW:  It looks like the pool boy's in for a treat

After Barney gets poisoned by an old lady and her plant, he seems to think his hand's turning into a gorilla

RT:  I set the tanning bed to "George Hamilton" again
ICW:  I'm rotting again

A guy claims a monster killed a bunch of men:  "It was big and red"

RT:  Ed Sheeran?
ICW:  The Kool-Aid Man strikes again

Barney explains to Dina why he won't leave the jungle:  "I'm happy out there in the jungle"

RT:  Upton Sinclair had it all wrong
ICW:  It's got fun and games, and you got no money and it has your disease (best riff of both versions)

The Rifftrax version also has comments on Jane Goodall, Elvis, Vermeer, Death Cab For Cutie, and Fruit Loops.

Check out Rifftrax's feature on the website. As for the ICW version, it's no longer for sale, but if you know a guy....

The Farce Was Strong With This One: Rifftrax Sinks Rise of Skywalker

This says it all:

C3P-O:  Will this agony ever end?
Mike Nelson:  My review of every Star Wars.

And this comes from a guy who dealt with the Twilight Saga.

This doesn't mean Rifftrax is also the Rian Johnson Fan Club, but the gang really did a number on the final Star Wars movie, Rise of Skywalker. They mocked the story, the characters, the props, everything.
While there have been complaints, and some praising the movie, it's safe to say Mike, Bill and Kevin came up with some real zingers. Be very afraid, Avengers: Endgame

The story is about the attempt to make the First Order the master race of the universe thanks to a cloned Palpatine. Of course, Rey has to be connected, and she is. We find out her real last name, and so does she in a duel with Kylo Ren. There's a bunch of other things that people complained about, like seeing two characters we thought were gone (but forgetting it didn't stop another character around 40 years ago).

This blog will concentrate on what kind of riffs these bitter, bitter men made through the 135 or so minutes of the movie. Again, it's amazing they were that rough. It's as if they were convinced Stephanie Meyer and JJ Abrams were to blame.
Then again, they did throw in a couple of Twilight jokes.
If there's one complaint, it's pointing out Carrie Fisher was in this movie after she died (thanks to CGI, but Catching Fire 2 did the same thing) way too many times, starting with this:

"The dead speak!", from the opening crawl
So I guess Carrie Fisher is in this, too.

Then there were these...

Rey trains as a Jedi, even on a tightrope
The sequel to Man on Wire looks a bit desperate

They get to the Acky Acky Festival
Oh, crap, it's Burning Man

Rey heals an injured sand worm
I have an HMO. Is this off-network?

Then she's alone in the desert.
This is turning into a Calvin Klein perfume ad.

Then she discovers she can release lightning from her fingers in that duel with Kylo Ren
Damn static buildup

Rey corners Zorii Bliss with her Lightsaber
You have the right to resemble the Rocketeer.

Kylo to Rey:  "Your parents were no one"
Chris Lemmon and Frank Stallone? (This makes no sense. Mom should be Sean Young)

Then he holds out his hand to her:
I know those gloves. You framed OJ Simpson

Leia with her dying breath: Ben
Kylo: Hannah? You want me to go back to Brooklyn?

Palpatine:  I am all the Sith
Rey:  and I...
Let the dogs out.

There's also riffs on the NFL, Manchester United, The Masked Singer, Benny Hill, Game of Thrones, Gwar, Death Cab For Cutie and Teri Hatcher.
It also has the best "mike drop" line since The Dark Knight.

Fans can riff every Star Wars movie by getting the mp3's at Rifftrax's website.