Choose Your Rifftrax Holiday Double Feature

Rifftrax is wrapping up an very eventful year with its first holiday double feature with Santa Claus Conquers The Martians 3.0 and the 2009 Shorts-Stravaganza from San Diego. However, true fans of MST, Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax can make their own double-headers. Others may mix Rifftrax holiday shows with other holiday DVDs for a truly different experience,

In this case, let's stick to riffed holiday movies.

MST3K:  Santa Claus Conquers The Martians and Santa Claus

This is an obvious choice but for some reason one movie is tougher to get than another, Santa Claus, a holiday movie made in Mexico, is part of Volume XVI (the one with the free Tom Servo). However, Shout Factory has not re-issued SCCTM, which was only in the two DVD set MST3K:  The Essentials (the other episode being Manos). It can be found via Amazon or eBay, but it would make sense this classic episode be available again. At the very least, it should be on streaming video.

Both shows do feature new holiday standards, "A Patrick Swayze Christmas" and "Merry Christmas, If That's OK". Actually, they're quite different. The first one was a typical MST episode compete with holiday Invention Exchanges. The other one, though, is basically a spoof of "The Gift of the Magi" but it ends with a big showdown between Santa and Pitch, the demon who tries to ruin Santa's holiday. At least the crew exchange presents, including Gypsy's famous "Joike" sweater.

Cinematic Titanic:  Santa Claus Conquers The Martians and Rifftrax:  I Believe in Santa Claus

Before Rifftrax riffed SCCTM in a live show two years ago, Joel Hodgson and his Cinematic Titanic crew was the only group that had a post-MST3K riffed version of the movie. It was released in November 2008, and is available at eBay and Amazon. I reviewed the DVD, and noticed they updated the riffs a little. The best part, though, was before the movie, when Trace tried to run away and the mysterious staff who's trapped the crew had to drag him back.

The second feature was issued last year, and is probably one of the strangest holiday movies. A kid in France may spend Christmas alone because his parents have been kidnapped by an African warlord. He writes to Santa, hoping he'd get the parents back. Through a ridiculous series of events, the kid gets to meet Santa and a fairy queen who's a whimsical version of Safety Woman. It's pretty bizarre.

The  other suggestions are all Rifftrax videos.

Nestor The Long-Eared Donkey, Bridget and Mary Jo's Christmas and Magic Christmas Tree

This is a triple-header only because they're all much shorter than usual movies. The first is a Rankin-Bass feature that's a little darker than its most famous creations including Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Nestor is clearly a knockoff on Rudolph, since he's mocked because of his really long ears. They do come in handy when he helps Mary and Joseph get to Jerusalem for the birth of Jesus. Instead of Burl Ives narrating, they had Roger Miller as the descendant of Nestor. It's a cute story, if you forget that at one point he and his mom are forced out into the snow, and she sacrifices herself to save her son. At least in Frosty the Snowman, he melts in a greenhouse but a cold wind brings him back.

The second feature was made last year by the Real Housewives of Rifftrax, Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl. This duo is coming close to out-shining the main Rifftrax crew thanks to several shorts, Catwomen of the Moon, and Gravity. The 30-minute special has a heavily edited version of A Christmas Carol (which doesn't include "Bah, Humbug"), a car ad Mary Jo really likes, footage of Dean Martin, and a short about a sheep that keeps Jesus warm on the night of the Nativity.

The third feature looks like a sitcom. A little boy saves the cat of a spooky old lady, and he gets a magic ring and a special seed that produces a Magic Christmas Tree that talks. It also gives him three wishes, including the power to kidnap Santa. Somehow it leads to him being kidnapped by a big giant. They're at the Rifftrax website.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (both versions)

It's possible to see both versions in less than two hours. The riffing of Santa Claus being stuck in Florida because his reindeer ran away or something is the same in both versions. Those who prefer the more recent version last year may go that way, but others may look at the original with Thumbelina then see the live show with Jack and the Beanstalk (which has much better songs).

Santa's House of Madness and Santa Claus (2014)

The first feature is actually three shorts with the exact same opening credits that have weird-looking animals and Santa Claus. There's outtakes from Santa Claus, plus footage from two Santa's Villages in California and Indiana. The third short is mainly Santa "threatened" by an ogre, and it ends with a song that would have killed it.

The live riff of Santa Claus is actually the uncut version with Spanish opening titles, and it shows why MST3K decided to cut a lot of it out. When we see a shirtless blacksmith and Merlin taking too much time making sleeping powders and the Flower to Disappear, it's best to move past those scenes. However, the riffs they come up with are incredible, especially one where Santa flies with his wind-up reindeer.

If you can come up with other combinations, feel free, but this will be a start. Just make riffed holiday movies part of your holiday season.

Easter at Rifftrax: Santa Without Any Bunnies

While people were waiting for the Easter Bunny this past weekend, a lot of people decided to have Christmas early with Santa Claus,

Rifftrax released the live version of Santa Claus last Friday, which was surprisingly early since it was just four months after it aired. This could wind up being the definitive riff of this odd holiday classic, which shows Santa battling a devil to just to make sure a poor little girl gets a doll.

I have already reviewed the live version, and it looks like the sound mixing emphasized the movie over the laughter from the audience in Nashville, TN. The quality of the movie print was excellent, though, with the original Spanish credits. This is the complete version, with Merlin taking way too much time helping Santa get ready, and the shirtless Keymaker (a little something for the ladies).

Before that, there was a non-Christmas short called "Sugar and Spice", where kids learn to make things out of sugar..then eat them.

My previous review compared riffs at certain parts of the movie, but this time we'll just add a couple more to look for.

Santa's parade of nations starts with Africa, which of course is a stereotype. For this, we should compare the original with the new riff
MST;  Ted Danson's Comedy School
Rifftrax:  A Governor George Wallace Christmas

Pitch recruits three mean boys....
Bill Corbett:  You want us to smuggle drugs up our where?

We see Lupita enjoying a puppet show
Mike Nelson:  Lupita grew up to be every single member of Menudo

Lupita's dream where she's surrounded by evil Raggedy Anitas:
Kevin Murphy:  This is the dancing equivalent to the last sketch on Saturday Night Live

When Santa's about to take off, Bill thinks he sees something:
Is that a disassembled Bender?

There's also riffs on Reservior Dogs, Krampus, Toy Story, Nyquil, and Amy Winehouse.

If you must think Santa should be part of Easter with a bunny, then get Night of the Lepus, Consider it the worst case scenario of Here Comes Peter Cottontail. I have a review of that as well.

Now that Rifftrax has wrapped up 2014, and presented all the mp3 riffs and VOD events, it's now getting ready for "The Crappening", also knows as the movies it will show in theaters. The first one will be "The Room" on May sixth. Tickets are still available through Fathom Events,

Rifftrax Celebrates the Holidays

Let's be honest. The holidays do not start on the week of Thanksgiving. They start next Friday with Halloween. I've believed this ever since I saw the Grove Shopping Center in L-A finish building Santa's House the day before Halloween. Imagine trick or treaters trying to visit that house.

Now there's a new reason:  Rifftrax will be very busy with some new events, including revisiting another holiday movie.
It also starts next Thursday with its presentation of Anaconda with Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube and Owen Wilson. That event was made possible by its Kickstarter campaign a few months ago after getting funding for riffing the Jurassic Park-Sleepless in Seattle mashup that was the 1998 version of Godzilla. The riff for that, by the way, should be coming next month.
Anyway, the attack, I mean showing, of Anaconda will be presented in several theaters nationwide thanks to Fathom Events. Since the movie is 90 minutes, the show will include a preview of the return of Total Riff-Off, where the gang take on a typical show from the National Geographic channel. It was very popular when it was done on April Fool's Day, and it'll be interesting to see what they'll do when they have two more specials in December. Expect the host of Man vs. Monster being a likely target.

Then in November, it'll observe Thanksgiving with its take on Fun in Balloonland. As I said elsewhere online, it makes "A Visit to Santa" look like The Empire Strikes Back. It starts with a mom reading a bedtime story, which puts her to sleep. Then the kid dreams he's in a world filled with balloon people. Here's a look:



It's basically the worst movie about the Macy's parade, or any other holiday parade.  A guy called the Cinema Snob has his take on this, If Mike can top that review, he is truly the God of Riffing

The big news from its Facebook Q and A event is that the Christmas show on December 4th will feature the 1959 Mexican holiday classic, Santa Claus. That's right, little Lupita, Pitch, and the kid who's left alone on Christmas Eve while his parents go out and drink will all be there. Of course, MST3K fans know the movie when it first aired in 1993. It was later part of the Volume XVI DVD set. What's different is that the gang will likely riff on the whole movie, as they did with Manos, Hands of Fate. When Santa Claus was first riffed, they cut some scenes out, including this one where Lupita dreams about having a doll. Since Pitch set off the dream, it includes evil dancing that wasn't part of the MST version. See if you can riff on this:



Actually, if you use the Canadian Thanksgiving rule, you'd be justified to start seeing holiday specials after November first, including what Rifftrax has to offer.

You can learn more about next week's showing of Anaconda, Total Riff-Off, Santa Claus and more at Rifftrax's updated website. Enjoy!

Enter Santa's Village of Madness...if you dare

Tired of cheesy Christmas movies that always feature a man and a woman falling in love for the flimsiest of reasons, Mrs. Santa Claus running away to help a family down on its luck, or the 78th knockoff of A Christmas Carol?

Rifftrax has the answer: a new VOD holiday offering called Santa's Village of Madness. It's a trio of demented holiday shorts from K. Gordon Murray, the man who turned a cheesy Mexican kids' movie called Santa Claus into an even cheesier holiday favorite during the 1960's. The YouTube sample is gone, but here's a link to the Rifftrax site to see a piece of this DVD.

If you somehow survived Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny and the Magic Christmas Tree, they still don't prepare you for this offering. According to these three shorts, which have the exact same opening credits except for the titles, Santa lives in a village that includes elves that look like Stanford co-eds, a wolf with a weird nose that also has legs that sound like accordions, a stinky skunk, Puss n Boots as head of security, and Merlin, who helps Santa get around the world on Christmas even through the Fifth Dimension (although I don't understand how Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. are involved in this).
Google those names, then that joke works.

Basically, K. Gordon filmed about eight minutes of footage from Santa's Villages in Illinois and California, then recycled some footage from Santa Claus, to make the three shorts. Elementary school pageants have more production values than these shorts.

The first short, Santa's Enchanted Village, features Ferocious Wolf (the one with accordion legs) looking for Stinky, who's supposed to be making toys and such. Stinky is found at a puppet show, and drives some of the audience away with his smell. Then the wolf shows up and yells at Stinky, which is more interesting than the puppet show. All Santa does is wander around with two reindeer. We get riffs on Torgo, Zapruder, Pink and GWAR, while we get new lyrics to an old favorite ("We are Santa's elves, we are stuck in Hell....")

Part two, Santa and His Helpers, is even cheesier. Half of it is recycled footage from Santa Claus, including some parts that didn't get riffed in the MST3K version. The other half is Ferocious Wolf, Puss n Boots and Stinky getting into some pointless argument. Santa has to break it up thanks to the "Moonflower" that gets him there. It ends with Puss with a sword telling the wolf and the skunk to march.  The Rifftrax crew is shocked to see the Ice Cream Bunny there, driving a train. Also, how come Santa is in his home in the clouds peeking at his village below? When you're a six-year-old watching this in 1965, you just look at the toys and don't ask any questions.

The third short, Santa's Magic Kingdom, at least has something that is almost a plot: Santa's threatened by an ogre we don't really see (although it's described as "Gumby and Pokey mated").
It starts as a tour of a "Santa's Village", although Santa looks a little too waxy. Puss n Boots, whose face is compared to a squid's anus, is told by the Fairy Queen that an ogre is coming. The whole kingdom, including Mrs. Santa, Stinky, the elves and Ferocious Wolf, get involved. Merlin saves the day...somehow..then it ends with a song from the Fairy Queen that would have also killed the ogre. The riffs here are surprisingly up-to-date, especially against Daniel Day Lewis and the new Jack Reacher movie, but also include a callback to one of the last MST3K movies.

In between these shorts, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett share Christmas memories that are...well...a bit disturbing. Still, you see why they bring us holiday movies that even the Hallmark Channel wouldn't show.

At five bucks, this 45 minute feature is a good deal. It's also a great appetizer to Rifftrax's next big target, The Avengers. That's coming December 27th. Learn more about Santa's Village of Madness, and other holiday fare (even one for Labor Day, maybe) at rifftrax.com