Tuesday, March 5, 2024

I! AM! ANOTHER! RIFFTRAX! LIVE! EVENT! THAT! NEEDS! MONEY!

 



And here we go again. 
This week, Rifftrax started its annual pledge drive to fund the mocking of a cheesy movie.
This year, though, it's a REAL movie, with people we've heard of...even an Oscar winner.
What's next, Speed? Speed 2, maybe?
Hey, if they managed to get Ladyhawke a while ago...

The movie is Point Break, where a rookie FBI agent who used to be a college quarterback has to find bank robbers who wear masks and surf. The main plot is that Johnny admires (kinda) Bohdi, the leader of the gang, but has to arrest the guy. Naturally, it's been used as a riff on MST3K a few times, but it's a big get. You get massive amounts of Keanu Reeves, Gary Busey when he was coherent, and Patrick Dempsey. Also, it's directed by Kathryn Bigelow, who's a professional and an Oscar winner. That's almost unheard of in Rifftrax movies. It's the anti-RAD. 

There's also working hard to hit their goal of 350 thousand dollars, which should be reached fairly quickly. The gang will be on The Mads Are Back as the post-movie guests, almost like they're on late-night TV. It's also the first time since Jack-O that it's a taped event rather than a live show. They will have the show from the State Theater in Minneapolis two weeks before it's shown on August 8 and 13. It's still a minor point because a riff show is a riff show, live or not. 

Again, the gang should hit their goal before they're on TMAB, but the real fun happens afterwards. We get the offer of "ten shorts for a dollar" plus stretch goals. That means mp3s of big movies, but the fun is predicting which ones. Ten bucks says Wonka is next if not inevitable. Dune 2 may be too good to pass up. Madame Web may be another story.

Anyway, fans can contribute and get neat swag by going here. The deadline is April 8.

Friday, January 19, 2024

Rifftrax Proves It's No Mickey Mouse Operation

 


Who's the riffing trio that just mocked Steamboat Willie?
N-E-L-S-O-N, Bill, and Kev Murphy!

When the 1929 cartoon that put Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse on the map, "Steamboat Willie", fell into public domain just after New Year's Day, the mouse found himself in odd places. 
He was in an Adult Swim promo, a few video games, and plans for a horror movie just like Winnie the Pooh.
Then, out of the blue, Rifftrax decided to mock the short that led to amusement parks, animation. media dominance and singing teens with odd hats (more than once). 

It showed some respect but not too much. It's famous because it was the first sound cartoon, but it's basically gags you'd see in silent animation. One of the first reactions came from Bill:  "So, a century-old evil empire was based on this, huh?"

There was a lot of comments on how Mickey would play "Turkey in the Straw" and turn all the animals into instruments. That included a goat that ate a ukelele, followed by a pig, a cat and a goose. Mike described it as "what happens on a Disney cruise", which would get him to buy a ticket. 
There's also how Minnie is brought to the boat via a hook (with "sexy" results), and how Music Goat became so beloved.

There were also riffs on Dubuque, IA, Charlotte's Web, a certain Marvel movie and Bugs Bunny.

The big news is that Rifftrax saw an opportunity and took it. If they do this to other Disney shorts in the future ("Plane Crazy", for example), there's a chance it'll do that.

It's also getting attention from the new GrimTrax spinoff, featuring really depressing shorts. The first series includes a lonely old woman, a boy who dies yet no one cares (that's the real horror) and one on job safety that should be called "Have An Orgy With Danger". It's on the Rifftrax website.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

After 34 Years, Have We Outgrown MST3K? HELL NO! Why the Season 14 Campaign Didn't Work

 



It's done.
The Season 14 Fundraiser hoped to get at least four million dollars for six episodes.
It fell short by one point three million.
So what does it mean?

Combing through Facebook and the MST message board, it's several reasons. Some aren't charmed by the revival. Some are still upset it took so long to get the swag from the Season 13 fundraiser. Some just didn't have the money right now. Some people thought it was about time the Gizmoplex funded itself, but cash from Pluto and Tubi aren't quite enough.

One of the more interesting takes came from the November 21st edition of the True Blue Riffcast, which reviews VODs and other things from Rifftrax. This was taped during the first day of the fundraiser, before the site added a running total. Before they razzed the TV version of Samson and Delilah, the hosts wondered why episodes for season 14 would average 616 to 667 thousand dollars apiece. 

First, let's make it clear the hosts are not fans of the revival, although they gave it a try. That's fine, since there are people who think the real MST lasted until 1999. Others think Doctor Who in the 21st Century isn't as good as the old days. 

Now, some clarity: if the fundraiser did hit four million, it would pay for six movies, six shorts and 18 "improved" classic episodes. So, an episode would have been closer to maybe 500 thousand, followed by maybe 90 thousand for a short and the rest for the classic episodes.

This was also before Joel sent an update which listed how the money was being spent, and revealed plans to go back to physical sets. Also, this was before he came up with some cost-cutting measures to make a new season easier to get.

The True Blue hosts also claim the MST audience is getting older, and that the show isn't as much of a cultural impact as it was in the early days.
Well, the original Mads are picking up a lot of business with its monthly shows, while Rifftrax is going strong. So, people want more of the original source for sarcastic movie opinions. 
It's likely after the fundraiser, the True Blue guys have a better idea of what it's all about. They might still believe new MST3K will never be as good as those episodes from Times Past. 
The Season 14 fundraiser just didn't work due to a perfect storm of bad timing, and let's not forget the SAG-AFTRA strike held back promotion.

So, what can be done?
Joel said this past weekend he isn't giving up. In his latest e-mail, he said "(one) silver lining is that the continued support for this campaign, and the show, may have opened up some new conversations about potential partnerships and fundraising that could be key in getting the show another season." 

So, it could be part fund-raiser with the rest funded by someone. Asking Shout! Factory to cover half the cost could work.
Also, it helps we know what the first six movies will be, including Plan Nine and Battle Beyond the Stars.
If there is a guarantee we'll have Gauntlet II with just those movies, that'll help. Also, instead of six movies in one day, have them run daily over a week. Disney Plus is doing that with the second season of What If...?

Next, how do we handle Gauntlet II? Kinga would recapture Joel, Emily and (maybe) Joel, then impose the ultimate punishment. Yeah, Plan Nine From Outer Space. She'll expect them to be driven to madness, but my guess is they'll express distain but that's it. It could be set up where Jonah suffers through a reel, followed by Emily.
Then, Kinga will wonder why the test cases don't become comatose husks. She and Max take over for Jonah, the two Synthias for Emily. Then they know why.

After that, Joel gets a movie, and Jonah and Emily split the rest.

What about Pearl? Maybe keep her "missing" while she's at Dumb Industries and Rifftrax, then spring her out of the blue when season 15 is approved.

Just try again, maybe in March.
We will have a season 14 somehow.

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Time For Fund Another Season of MST3K

 



Last Christmas, we gave MST our heart
But Joel, Emily and Jonah (and Pearl) all ran away
This year, they expect us to pay
For just one more season, season, season
.

Just one more? NO WAY!
We'll shut up and keep paying for this, especially if we get value.
OK, of course, they'll all come back somehow like the guy who tried to escape from Squid Game, and it's back to cheesy movies, the worst we can find, etc.
My hopes are that MegaSynthia gets a lot more coherent (like Synthia did), and we find out Cabal is a fraud but points out his ideas did work.
Oh, and he shoves Kinga and Max into the theater for a reel, and turns out they're a little too good at this riffing thing. 

This time, Joel and company will forsake Kickstarter and do it themselves. It started the week before Halloween, and will run until the day after Thanksgiving. It's a good choice of dates. 
As usual, the more people contribute, the more shows they make. The minimum goal is $4.2 million, which means six movies, six shorts and 18 restored episodes. The maximum is $7.4 million which gets 12 movies, 12 shorts and 36 (!) restored episodes. Maybe by then they can come up with a way to keep The Final Sacrifice available to all

Here's a video to explain more:


The perks are also available, especially knit caps, pins and t-shirts. They also have a new company who's better at shipping stuff. They are also offering special perks where your name is included in the credits or you can attend a class in riffing. 

Actually, considering the costs and value of the perks, it's still a good deal. Remember, those who got the full one-year pass got the shows, shorts, and post-movie interviews which were better than the movie. The chance for people who made the next MST targets explain themselves is priceless. Imagine if Hal Warren had to explain his movie.

This show will be 35 years old in a month (although it says that happens next year, but only as a national show. At least it exists!), It deserves to hit middle age.
Please give!
Oh, and here's the link as well. 

Friday, August 18, 2023

It's SO Eighties! Rifftrax Goes RAD

 



It's August, and it's time for another Rifftrax Live show. This time, it looks at a sport that is somehow part of the X Games.

The movie is RAD, made in 1986, and basically No Defeat, No Surrender with bikes. It's about  a paperboy named Cru who rides his BMX bike in really dangerous ways. Still, people want their USA Today. 
Some guys in suits led by Jack Weston come to Cru's town to promote a cool BMX contest and drum up business in the town. He's actually trying to boost his client Bart Taylor, barely portrayed by Bart Connor (yes, the gymnast who did NOT invent Gymkata but got hitched to Nadia Comaneci).

Cru wants to participate, but his mom, who is bitter since her movie career collapsed and got her trapped in this film, insists he work on getting to college.

So, it seems this movie will be about Cru and the hotshot BMX guy...until some hot girl enters the scene. She's played by Lori Loughlin. For some reason she can ride a BMX bike better than anyone. How come SHE's not in the contest? That's a movie.

Anyway, Cru tries to overcome obstacles, like Weston's company changing the rules to keep Cru out, but he gets unexpected help. He also falls for Lori after spending the first act impressing some other girl. You can guess the rest. If only Jean Claude Van Dam could ride a bike.

The movie is typical of the sports-themed movies in the 1980's and it's not THAT bad. Still, if Casablanca isn't safe from Rifftrax, neither is this one. The gang riff a lot about Lori's legal problems and the 80's in general, especially the dancing and fashions. Cru also talked a lot about ass-sliding, which is basically sliding.
They were also impressed Ray Walston got more interesting when Cru gets in trouble with Weston's crew. Ray winds up putting new meaning in the term "talk to the hand". Spicoli would have been stunned. 

What was more surprising that Bill Allen, the star of the movie, was in the Nashville audience. He, unlike Joe Don Baker, could take it. He also had a minor career aside from this movie. In fact, this trivia page from IMDB has some very interesting tidbits about the film.

Before the movie, fans endured two Gumby shorts. They were about a witch who kidnaps them for a very strange reason, and a hidden valley with dinosaurs who are hoping there's a fourth Jurassic World movie. 

OK, riff time:

Cru is in full training costume, including a mask that isn't quite right for fencing
Jason Voorhees' dorkier brother

Lori Loughlin in the credits
She shivved me at the prison shower.

Cru's mom brings in the groceries, played by Talia Shire
(mumbling bitterly) I was in The Godfather

Best way to describe the bike dance Cru and Lori have
Breaking Away and Saturday Night Fever got together, nine months later this movie came out. 

Then they kiss
Kissing, it's like ass-sliding with your mouth

Bart,  the hot-shot BMX biker, tries to look cool
Yeah, my haircut's really terrible.

Lori:  I thought you were a man
Mike:  No, you didn't

There's also riffs on Tilda Swinton, Footloose, Chicago Bears, Happy Days and Tik Tok.

The pre-show slides (with the usual comedy music) were better than usual. One predicted a Hallmark Channel movie called Hack Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and that might work. Saving Christmas via stealing back money another company stole? OK!

The VOD should be available in October or November. Get more riffs at rifftrax.com