Incognito Cartoon Warriors

Mocking bad movies is one of America's fastest growing industries. After Mystery Science Theater 3000, it looks like anyone can mock bad movies, but very few can do it well.

So what's left? How about a spoof of kids TV where some puppets mock cartoons?
Done! This was plugged in recent editions of Incognito Cinema Warriors XP, but Captain Cornelius Cartoon's Cartoon Lagoon is a nice salute to cartoons, both good and cheesy. It features the good Captain in his sub, the Manta Ray, sailing under the sea to retrieve classic cartoons. He's joined by Wet Willy Jones, Axel Magee and Franky Planky, who's a real stiff (because he's a piece of wood). In the main story, the crew tries to celebrate Axel's birthday, but he's a little too depressed. In between the birthday party, they mock three cartoons with nearly as much skill as MST3K.

The first one has Casper the Friendly Ghost on the Moon, where he freaks out the natives and battles evil tree people. The crew makes jokes about Nicole Ritchie, Richard Belzer and Silence of the Lambs, and debate whether Casper's a boy or a girl.

Then they see a Captain Nemo cartoon ("starring blond David Hasslehoff") that's a little too educational. It was made in the 70's, which may explain a lot. Then they see a Popeye cartoon that apparently makes Axel happy. It's the one where Bluto pulls several pranks at Popeye, while Olive Oyl enjoys seeing Popeye being humiliated. It was made in 1954, when these cartoons went downhill anyway. Lots of jokes about Michael Bay, Two and a Half Men, Shelley Duvall and Ted Danson.

However, there's more, The DVD includes a "revue" of classic cartoons including Superman, Felix the Cat, Woody Woodpecker and even one made by special effects pioneer Ray Harryhausen. Mixed into this section are several commercial spoofs, original animation, music from the Gregory Brothers, and an interview with Fairly Oddparents creator Butch Hartman that doesn't go anywhere. Not to worry, because there's a real interview with Hartman plus loads of outtakes.

This is a pretty good value for fans of movie riffing, and cartoons in general. It's made by Cartoon Lagoon Studios, and the DVD is available at Amazon.

Note: This was also featured in the New York Television Festival.

San Francisco's Cuckoo for Coco...again!

When I was at Anaheim Wizard World, I called this picture, "What do Serenity and Conan have in Common?"



First Fox threw Firefly away, then Universal decided not to give us a Serenity sequel....yet. Maybe adapting the Dark Horse comics could help?

You may say Conan O'Brien is in the same boat, but in reverse. NBC tossed him aside in favor of Jay Leno and his old yet reliable viewers, then Fox decided not to choose him because the affiliates believe endless sitcom reruns at 11 PM are the highest form of TV.

Oh yeah? You think Charlie Sheen or Jay Leno can do THIS??



Conan wowed his fans at the Masonic Auditorium last night with songs, stories, illegal-ish appearances by some of his favorite characters, and overall unleashed fun.
My seat was a little farther away from the 10th row chair I had when he had his Late Night show at the Orpheum in 2007. Still, a balcony seat is not too bad.



Now, there's a ton of YouTube clips of Conan in action, and it's possible you could save 70 bucks by getting the experience that way.
Forget it. You have to see this live for at least one absolute reason:
there is not a chance in HELL Jay Leno could ever do what Conan is doing, and selling out as quickly as he has. NEVER! NEVER!!!!
David Letterman and Stephen Colbert....maybe, but in nightclubs somewhere.

If you have fished for Conan clips on YouTube, you know the line-up: Conan as a complete mess, then getting into fighting weight for the tour, the "Polk Salad" song,



Triumph, the Masturbating Bear and his new "disguise",



the Chuck Norris lever, and the band rocking out to kick things off. There's also the inflatable bat he bought from Meat Loaf. It's almost guaranteed that's going to be outside Conan's new home studio in November.



However, there's nothing better than local touches to each stop. While Seattle enjoyed Eddie Vedder and Vancouver had Seth Rogan, the 4/22 show had Chris Isaak (quite the oddball himself) and Conan doing Elvis quite well.



Andy Richter even explained what he learned during his hiatus, while riding a Muppet horse, and also gave the most unusual live commercials you ever heard. Let's say they involve a Fisherman's Wharf tradition and something you'd never expect to see on Geary Street.

I wonder what Conan will have planned for Sacramento on May 6th. Mocking Governor Schwartzengger's Jingle All the Way seems likely....along with him showing up. I certainly hope they get a good musical guest, too.

My next wish...hoping to combine a CreationCon Whedon Weekend with getting tickets to Conan's second show for TBS. Hey, hoping to see the first show live would be nuts!

Cinematic Titanic Back in the Bay Area

It's been nearly a year since Joel Hodgson, and his fellow MST3K alumni, visited San Francisco to entertain people with their clever way of mocking bad movies.
More than a thousand people at the Castro Theater decided to forget about getting Lost, and encounter "Danger on Tiki Island," another Independent International picture that carries on a movie tradition equal to Coleman Francis, Sandy Frank and Ed Wood. Yeah, that bad.

Apparently a scientist and his sex-starved wife encounter a monster who desires sacrifices from the local village. They are helped by a Fabian-ish assistant, a lot of short natives and a suspiciously handsome rich guy. The scientist, by the way, is played by Kent Talyor, the same guy who played the evil surgeon in the first CT classic, "The Oozing Skull."

I couldn't get all the jokes because the sound system wasn't as good as the one at the Marines Memorial Theater, where the CT gang appeared nearly a year ago. It's just as well, since the next DVD will be a live version of the same movie people saw at the Castro.



When that DVD is available in April, or at least that's what Joel told the fans after the show, we'll have comments on the doctor's face ("Mount Rushmore isn't that chiseled"), the natives doing Blue Swede's version of "Hooked on a Feeling", the doc's wife looking for sex ("Good God, woman, you've struck man"), and some of the midget natives being called "Filipino Time Bandits." As for the monster, Joel said it looked like the Michelin Man after a fiery car crash.



Aside from that, it was basically the same show as last year's event. Dave "Gruber" Allen was back, ready with a joke about Avatar and even one about a kid's magazine I hadn't picked up since I was 12.



J. Elvis Weinstein, the artist formerly known as Dr. Forrester's sidekick, joined in for some cool be-bop haiku.



Then we had TV's Frank Coniff, who talked about how a CHP officer stopped him, then let him off with a warning: don't see "Tooth Fairy" (wise cinematic advice, that). Afterwards, he went into his Convoluted Man routine.

Cinematic Titanic was the official end of this year's Sketchfest, which featured more comics than you can shake a rubber chicken or clown nose at. It's interesting Rifftrax was there in 2007, perfecting their "Plan 9 From Outer Space" routine that was quite the hit in theaters nationwide.
It was also great they chose the Castro for their second visit. It's probably the most impressive looking movie house around, aside from Grauman's Chinese and the Arclight Dome. Here's a link to some of the pictures inside the place, plus CT's appearance in 2009. To wrap up, here's two more pictures of the CT crew...





and a true MST3K fan, because he's wearing a shirt from its first convention from about 20 years ago.



Of course, the ultimate dream would be Rifftrax and the CT gang joining forces to meet its greatest challenge....riffing Avatar and both Transformers movies to submission.

That Heavy Metal Riffer Is Back!

It's not easy to live up to the tradition of Mystery Science Theater 3000, or even make something that is a worthy successor.

But a Missouri Heavy Metal dude named Rikk Wolf did it with Incognito Cinema Warriors XP. Despite delays related to equipment, weather, or other things, it's become very popular. The third release, Bloody Pit of Horror, was finally available last Sunday.

For the uninitiated, the premise is Rikk Wolf is trapped inside an old theater surrounded by zombies in some post-apocalyptic world. With him are a popcorn maker named TopsyBot 5000 and a robot usher named Johnny Cylon. Their "Forrester" is Dr. Blackwood, a crazy long-haired guy who delivers the bad movies to them. The structure of the show is similar to MST, including host segments. This is especially true in the latest release. We even get a new character, a zombie head named Zed who sounds quite educated if not for his occasional rants where he vows to kill them all.

For the first time, the crew riff on a traffic safety movie called "The Talking Car". This was offered separately in their MySpace site. It's a strange short about a kid who had to prove to three cars in a weird dream he knows the "see and be seen" traffic rules. It's more "out there" than the "X Marks the Spot" movie the MST crew mocked.

Before the main feature, we see Rikk repairing the head of Cylon after, according to Topsybot, he turned into a were-gorilla. There are some problems, like Cylon being stuck speaking Spanish and Rikk getting sick from eating 40 year old donut holes. They also find Zed among those old donut holes. Dr. Blackwood isn't faring much better: he's trying to make a time machine out of a bunch of Magic Markers. "So far," he says, "the past is light-headed and blurry." Actually, it's the fumes of Time getting to him.

But being blurry may have helped him deal with Bloody Pit of Horror, supposedly based on the writings of the Marquis de Sade. It opens with someone called the Crimson Executioner being sent to the Iron Maiden, the device he used to torture and kill his victims in the 17th Century. Before he is sealed inside, he vows revenge. About 300 years later, the nightmare, I mean the plot, begins. A group of models, with a photographer and other people, stop at what they think is an abandoned castle. After they find a way in, they discover they are not alone. A guard carrying a candalabra find them, and one of them meets the owner, played by Mickey Hargitay (Mr. Jayne Mansfield, and Mr, Universe, too). He tells them to get out, until he sees one of the girls. So, they can stay the night..if they survive. Oh, and stay away from the dungeons.

So how does the ICWXP crew deal with this?
"Filmed in Pyschovision"...Filmed by your ex-girlfriend.
They go inside the lobby, which inspires Rikk to do a killer riff on Resident Evil.
The owner knocks over his chess pieces...Invisible Chicken Beat Me Again!!

Well, the crew snoops around for good wine while the editor, Parks, tries to sneak a peak at the models while they're undressing. Typical Italian horror movie...until the horrifying photo session with POLKA MUSIC!! This shocks Rikk and his friends until they thnk of worse things like Knight Rider 2008, then sing a happy tune ("It's the worst film ever made, ever made, ever made.."). Then, shocking accidents and deaths occur among the models and crew. There's also a skulking figure who apparently is behind it all. Edith, the non-model of the group, discovers it's the owner, who she had planned to marry years ago. Now, he delcares, he is the Crimson Executioner..although he looks more like a Mexican wrestler who'd never get past being jobber. Still, he comes up with interesting ways to "punish" those he thinks are impure. He even ties one of the models to a spider web, facing death either by a robot spider (Wes Craven's Little Miss Muffett) or a thousand arrows aimed at her. Seeing Rick, the writer, try to save her is something to see.

Meanwhile, the host segments are getting more complex. In one, the gang take a nap, and become haunted by the grouchy car from the traffic safety short. In another, TopsyBot and Cylon practice for a poetry slam before things get out of hand. The final one is a real surprise, because it's an update on the old Hexfield View Screen...and also very funny. This show is making an effort in recreating the classic days of MST3K, and is succeeding very well, Remember, this is a mom-and-pop operation from deepest Missouri.

Lately, there's been some changes behind the scenes, but this latest release shows ICWXP is making progress in great movie riffing. They have a new character, and some new writers like Josh Way, who has become a MySpace star thanks to Fun With Shorts and a couple of movie riffs, too. They have another movie coming soon called Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory, followed by a fan choice which seems to be Hideous Sun Demon. While Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic are getting the attention in maintaining the comedy tradition of MST3K, ICWXP also deserves the attention for its efforts. Let's hope it won't be too long before their next release is ready. Even if it is, the new stuff, especially now, is always worth the wait.