Stuffing or Potatoes? Nope! Feast on New MST3K Instead

Good news! Jonah Heston survived the "wedding" that ended season eleven of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
After that, his fate is up in the air.

Netflix FINALLY revealed the show will have six new episodes on Thanksgiving, November 22nd, instead of the usual Friday release.

It was done because the show started on Thanksgiving 1988, so it was the perfect exception.
The start of season 12 will be the first fresh episode since April 14, 2017, or about 18 months. It's the longest period between shows since Comedy Central dumped the show in May 1996 and SyFy brought it back eight months later.
This also means the new six-pack will be unveiled after the live tour, which starts in less than two weeks and will run until just before the holidays.

The previous season ended when Kinga tried to "marry" Jonah just for the ratings. He hesitates, figuring he may not survive the reception. Actually, Max made a new friend by suddenly finding a metallic Reptilicus, and tells it to eat Jonah. She thinks Jonah was killed, but apparently only for a little while. Jonah does survive, but Kinga decides he must die (or suffer) via exposure to cheesy movies, the worst she can find (la-la-la).
The only question is how Max is not killed by Kinga over this. At least Clayton needed Frank as a friend/victim, and she doesn't see Max that way....but should. It's certain the Boneheads wouldn't put up with this.
We'll also see if Synthia has "matured" after being Pearl's clone for a while, There are signs in the comic book that she has.

Some photos were unveiled by the AV Club, which broke the news:

There's also this picture where Jonah confronts Kinga and Max, which is unheard of compared to the old days.

It seems to be set just after "At The Earth's Core", but it's safe to say while Jonah gets the drop on the Mads and their Boneheads, the bad guys'll figure out how to keep the experiment going. At least Waverly is rebuilt and he'll have a new friend.
Still, why a band? Will they take on "Don't Knock the Rock" or something like that?

The great thing is that fans can decide how long the annual Turkey Day marathon can last. It can be ten hours as it was at Shout Factory's website or YouTube in previous years, or four days if the NFL games are actually must-see. It's best to see the episodes in order, then maybe mix them up later. As Joel said at the Revival League podcast, he'll start the season with his second-best joke and finish it with his best joke, as stand-ups do.

Hopefully, the show will have a six-pack of cinematic sludge every six months, and ease eager fans.
Of course, MST fans have satisfied their bad movie heckling need thanks to Rifftrax. Wouldn't it be a good idea for Kinga to "wage war" with Rifftrax, but nothing comes of it for a while? Since "Pearl" is with Rifftrax now, at least we should have that.

Until then, the tradition resumes in the not too distant future, Thanksgiving A-D.

UPDATE:  Joel Hodgson just announced Shout Factory's annual MST3K Thanksgiving Marathon will be held on November 18, which is the final night of the live tour in Minneapolis. As usual, it'll have six classic shows.

Krull Isn't Dull Thanks To Rifftrax

It's a pity that this summer's Rifftrax Live series was so short at two movies. After taking a second look at an MST3k fan favorite in Space Mutiny, the gang took on a cheesy sci-fi fantasy from 1983 called Krull over the weekend.
They're still not sure if Krull is the planet, the "hero", an old man or even a transparent spider.

The gang of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett are sure the movie gave Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane their big breaks in the movies, and that's something. The crew did a wonderful job with sharp riffs that kept this movie from getting too dull.

The story is about Colwyn and Lyssa, a prince and princess who are about to marry to unite their kingdoms. However, they're interrupted by a spaceship/evil castle/very big piece of driftwood. Lyssa is kidnapped by some weird looking alien called The Beast, and Colwyn the Boy King (or is it King Boy) spends the rest of the movie trying to save her,
It's a pity Lyssa, played by Lysette Anthony, is incredibly boring. She has three modes: anticipating marriage, running around aimlessly and staring into space.
It also doesn't help that she's dubbed by Lindsay Crouse, who's a much better actress.

Still, Colwyn needs a goal, and it's Princess Dull. He gets help from an old guy named Ynyr, an incompetent magician who gets lucky once, a bunch of unkempt bandits that include Neeson and Coltrane, a blind wizard, a Cyclops, alien Clydesdales, and a woman who lives in a web. She's played by Masterpiece Theater fave Francesca Annis. The only reason she's helping is that her name is the same as Princess Barbie Dull, and she should have been the main princess instead, really.

The logo of the movie is a glaive Colwyn finds in a river of hot Hawaiian Punch concentrate after climbing rocks for 20 minutes. He doesn't use it until the third act when he's battling the Beast...and the weapon that finally works is something else completely. Wha?

The Big Bad isn't that much better. We only see certain ugly parts until it's revealed he's (as the RT gang says) a tumor that gave birth to a Muppet. Sure, Colwyn had to kill it twice, but it's still a lame villain.

Anyway, let's get to the riffs. Some of them will include photos.

The Beast's Slayers attack the wedding
They accidentally hired a Red Wedding planner

Colwyn doesn't seem like a swashbuckler, or a King Boy.

Nothing says "action hero" like striped clowny pants

Coltrane looks like a Super Mario Brother, but Bill has another idea:

Bears, Polish Sausage, Ditka

The Beast tries to "seduce" Lyssa while looking like an evil Richard Chamberlain and showing what a two-timer Colwyn isn't...

Beast:  Lyssa....
Mike Nelson:  You're tearing me apart. (just think about that for a minute)

That's after it tries to put a wedding dress on her

Invisible Pope! Run!

Ynyr, the old guy, talks about the Widow of the Web

"She has great powers"
"Yeah, to kill"
"She may not kill me, for I know her name"
DEBBIE! (What, not Oprah or the Divine Miss M?)

They make fun of Neeson's movies, of course, especially when his character's dying words are that he never go to work with Jake Lloyd (look it up). There's also traditional callbacks to Golden Corral, Michael Vick and TLC, and riffs about Thai soccer players, Beauty and the Beast and Marilyn Manson.

While the live season is done, Rifftrax fans are looking forward to riffs on Ready Player One and Solo: A Star Wars Story. The riff for Krull should be available around Thanksgiving, while the movie itself is readily available. Mike Nelson also has a song about Krull that gives a fairly decent summary of the plot, but it's not like hearing the gang scowl at the movie itself.

Choose your riff at the website.

The NHL Visits Reno For Hot August Knights

This is not a meeting of the Nevada Mascot Association, but it's a good sign to see Archie Ace and Truckee from Reno 1868 FC to join Chance from the Las Vegas Golden Knights as part of the team's efforts to be the main NHL team for Reno, Boise, Wyoming and Salt Lake City.

It had a big bus as part of a road trip that started in Reno at the Atlantis this past Monday. It was a basic promotion that included the bus, some hockey goals for kids to shoot at, and Brad Hunt signing autographs.

While it's great the team is putting more attention to northern Nevada (which had a pro hockey team very briefly), it would have been great if they had jerseys on display or the Western Conference Trophy. Maybe throw in a few genuine hockey sticks and pucks.
There's also an effort to build a year-round ice rink to encourage youth hockey in Reno. There's been some talk of adding a rink to the Events Center to bring the ECHL here. Hopefully that will advance very soon.

It would also help if local radio or TV would show more Golden Knights games. They're occasionally on NBC Sports Network, but Spectrum doesn't have the local regional sports channel, AT&T Sportsnet, that carries the team. That would help, too. That's the best way to compete with the Aces and 1868...and University of Nevada, too.

Still, it's a good start, and it's getting me interested in getting a jersey of my own. For now, I have this...

Rifftrax Summer Starts With Space Mutiny, Take Two

Along with Flag Day, the start of the World Cup and the arrival of Incredibles 2, Rifftrax had to compete with a lot to start its live season with a second look at an MST3K season eight classic, Space Mutiny. It's known for cheesy sets, recycled footage from Battlestar Galactica and a hunky guy with way too many nicknames.

The plot features a crew in a spaceship heading somewhere after traveling for hundreds of years. Some guy who looks like the lead singer from Human League plots to take over the ship. There's a cheesy disco scene, a "sex" scene and lots of people falling over handrails. There's also modern dancers with glowing balls that seem to guide the crew to goodness...or pervy thoughts.

The live version, which was shown from Nashville, wasn't as brutal as the MST3K version, but still pretty good. They took out a lot of jokes that point out how Cameron Mitchell looks like Santa, plus some '90s references like Ed Grimley and Armand Assante. It still emphasizes Lea, the female lead, looks much older and less sexy that she thinks. Of course, the joke's on us: Reb Brown (Dave Ryder/Big McLargehuge/Bob Johnson) wound up marrying Cisse Cameron (Lea)
Also, John Philip Law, who was the swanky thief Diabolik in MST's final episode, wound up as Kalgan, who laughs too much and swallows the scenery whole.

Of course, there's Lieutenant Lemont, who's compared to Melissa Manchester in the MST3K version, and Jeff Lynde and Bob Ross in the Rifftrax version. She's best known for getting killed by Kalgan in one scene, then alive in the next scene. Also, some parts of the ship included brick walls.

The show's big feature is seeing Kevin Murphy in a space mumu, similar to the one worn by Cameron Mitchell. He looks like the leader of a world filled with movie critics.

Lately, Rifftrax has taken second looks at a lot of movies, like Gamera a few weeks ago, and Joe Don Baker's Final Justice a couple of years ago. Again, the crew revised the riffs to fit modern times, but they're not quite as biting as the original.
So, let's compare..

First appearance of Battlestar Galactica footage
RT: Giant Owl Robot eyes, how's it going?
MST:  Outlets in space (and yes, they admitted they missed the fact it was BG footage the first time)

The Valerians "dance"

RT:  We summon you, St. Bonnie Tyler
MST:  It's a Wiccan Tupperware party

Lea "dances" with a hula hoop

RT: (Mike) When I do this, I get tossed out of the public library
MST:  In the future, there is no shame (which is a better riff and more prescient)

Lemont dies, then doesn't

MST:  I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance
RT:  I enjoyed your funeral, Janet

Then the ending where Kalgan doesn't die after all, thinking this will require a sequel

MST:  We don't need more Kalgan
RT:  What the Hell did I just watch?

Naturally, there was a bunch of new nicknames for Ryder, including Luke Rockhold. Dumb, isn't it?

They also got around Lea baring her breasts after she and Ryder make love by blocking it with a CGI Gorilla Gram...which looked more like a Gorilla Pig. Actually, if they cut the "conversation" Lea had with Ryder, we wouldn't have missed anything.

There's also riffs on Rutherford B. Hayes, Beastie Boys, Two Broke Girls and the Fantastic Four.

Before the movie, they had a short based on the HG Wells story, "The Magic Shop". It involved a magician who's slightly flashier than Jack Cassidy and a chubby kid who was easily amused. The crew commented on a poster of Thurston being a mashup of Dracula and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

The live version will be available sometime in the fall as a digital download or DVD, while the original is available at Rifftrax.
The next live show comes in August with"Krull", a cheesy movie that at least features Liam Neeson in "you gotta start somewhere" mode.

By the way, Amazon Prime has added new titles from Rifftrax including Merlin The Return, Terror at Tenkiller (a slasher film that's more lifeless than the victims), Superargo and the Faceless Giants and City of the Dead with Christopher Lee.

Gamera or Gammera? Rifftrax Takes On The Turtle

It's amazing that Rifftrax snagged this Americanized version of the first Gamera movie, which was a major highlight of MST3K's third season. However, Shout Factory can't sell that episode because Toho and Sandy Frank won't let them. For the record, the Gamera set can be bought at Amazon, for a price slightly less steeper than a MST Live Tour ticket that includes a picture with Joel.

Rifftrax's riffing isn't nearly as dark as the MST version and neither is the movie. Gammera, with an extra "m", cuts out a lot of the original to fit in several scenes with American military trying to figure out how to handle the big turtle. Fans also notice some scenes were re-cut to fit in a scene where the United Nations is trying to find a solution.
However, a couple of scenes that inspired some good riffs are out. We lose the American general who looks like Curly from the Three Stooges, and the "news stud" from New York..

The "Gammera" movie reminds me of "Gigantis", an English version of Godzilla's second movie which was re-edited so that people thought it was a different monster.

Again, the Rifftrax take on "Gammera" is lighter than the MST version but it also throws in a couple of obscure movie riffs and a well-known one.

For example, when Gammera breaks through the ice after a plane crashes, Mike Nelson is annoyed and says "Another Infinity Stone?"

Then they get into gear when Gammera meets Toshio/Kenny

Rifftrax:  Hey, kid, you know of any all-night terrariums where a guy can get his shell rubbed?
MST3K:  Those kids at school, they tease you, Kenny, because they never tasted Hell.

Then there's the scene where Gammera is on his back. They think he's lost...until he turns on his jets that help him fly.

MST3K:  Check it out, it's the Batmobile
Rifftrax:  He's activating his hemorrhoids!

There's also riffs on Mitch McConnell, Jewel, D-Day, United Airlines, and a Tom Hanks movie that people didn't like.

Gammera is available at the Rifftrax website.