Gamera's Back, But What's Pearl Planning? MST in July

 

Sorry this was a week late, but there were no watch parties at Comic-Con.
For the first time in 30 years, Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffs on a Gamera movie. However, Jonah and the bots see it uncut, and it's a bit tedious. Meanwhile, Pearl may be planning something. Forresters don't have family vacations without a motive.

First, though, the movie...
it takes place around the time of Expo 70 in Osaka. A strange statue found by an "American" in Wester Island will be part of the event. Some guy claims removing it will cause a curse. Actually, it wakes up a monster called Jiger. Gamera comes to the rescue, despite the adults being upset it'll wreck Japan. Jiger "infects it" with an egg or whatever. The Annoying Kids borrow a kiddie submarine to rescue Gamera, then we have the final battle where Gamera wins. 
It's the usual thing, only without sexy aliens who want to eat brains. 

                                      

At the Gizmoplex, Kinga's happy her Kingadome has become so successful, and even says she's done more in her family's tradition of "unpleasant entertainment" than anyone else. 
That's where Pearl suggests Kinga join her in a vacation in the Time Bag. Hostile takeover attempt, maybe?
Also, they may screw up time and erase the experiment from existence...or be forced to become Dr. Pearl and TV's Kinga.

Well, that's sometime in the not too distant future, but it's a chance for Max and the two Synthias to mind the store. That should make things interesting. Besides, maybe Emily winds up running the show.   

The host segments were pretty good, as they spoofed exposition events and how one of the kids was dubbed. 
Then Dr. Donna St. Phibes came back with results of the crew's physicals. The results were rather odd, especially Jonah apparently having robot parts inside him (because one of his family members is someone called Chuck E. Cheese). Maybe this is a ploy by the doc to be alone with Jonah, since at the end of season 12 she did fancy him a bit (it's OK, they're married in real life). 

                                        

Maybe it's a moot point. She feeds the "giant brain" from the 2018 Live Tour, but suddenly becomes its lunch. If she survived this, it may prove SHE has an interesting relative called TV's Frank, who's had his share of physical abuse.

It ends with a rousing Irish drinking song about Jiger. Actually, this episode has many interesting musical moments. The crew sings several inaccurate English translations of the Gamera song, but also sell a plaintive song where Gamera reflects on his life battling monsters for his kiddie friends. 

By the way, it's the original version because the credits weren't in English. It also started with a "best of Gamera" reel, but could that really be true? 
Also, the monsters didn't get anywhere near Expo 70 because the organizers drew the line at that.

Now, riff time...

Keisuke tells Hiroshi about the statue:  "Its purpose is a mystery"
Like the Cats movie

The statue is moved
That's one big Pez dispenser

Jiger wakes up
Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy

Then meets Gamera
How do I let you know if I'm a Triceratops or a Tricerabottom?

The fight they have is...rather repetitive
What's the feeling you get when you've seen a giant monster battle before? Kaiju Vu?

Gamera painfully tries to remove the arrows Juger shot at him  

Never kink shame Gamera

The kids try to remove whatever Jiger injected into him
This is the most stressful game of Operation ever

There's also riffs on Coors, the Buffy movie (happy 30th), MASH, Yo Gabba Gabba, one of Gamera's past friends....and Cornjob!

After big monsters dominated July, it looks like "super" "heroes" will take over August. The featured movie will be The Batwoman, a Mexican "adaptation" that might be too sexy for this show.

Meanwhile, Synthia's Selects will include Prince of Space, some Neptune men, a Ninja, and (this I SHOULD have seen coming) a more quaint Batwoman who battles a fake Mexican villain. 

The next tribute will look at Pumaman August fifth, and it may be a better print or (horrors) the uncut version.
Still, no Sampson against vampire women?

     I WILL KILL AGAAAAAAIINNNN!

Gamera or Gammera? Rifftrax Takes On The Turtle

It's amazing that Rifftrax snagged this Americanized version of the first Gamera movie, which was a major highlight of MST3K's third season. However, Shout Factory can't sell that episode because Toho and Sandy Frank won't let them. For the record, the Gamera set can be bought at Amazon, for a price slightly less steeper than a MST Live Tour ticket that includes a picture with Joel.

Rifftrax's riffing isn't nearly as dark as the MST version and neither is the movie. Gammera, with an extra "m", cuts out a lot of the original to fit in several scenes with American military trying to figure out how to handle the big turtle. Fans also notice some scenes were re-cut to fit in a scene where the United Nations is trying to find a solution.
However, a couple of scenes that inspired some good riffs are out. We lose the American general who looks like Curly from the Three Stooges, and the "news stud" from New York..

The "Gammera" movie reminds me of "Gigantis", an English version of Godzilla's second movie which was re-edited so that people thought it was a different monster.

Again, the Rifftrax take on "Gammera" is lighter than the MST version but it also throws in a couple of obscure movie riffs and a well-known one.

For example, when Gammera breaks through the ice after a plane crashes, Mike Nelson is annoyed and says "Another Infinity Stone?"

Then they get into gear when Gammera meets Toshio/Kenny

Rifftrax:  Hey, kid, you know of any all-night terrariums where a guy can get his shell rubbed?
MST3K:  Those kids at school, they tease you, Kenny, because they never tasted Hell.

Then there's the scene where Gammera is on his back. They think he's lost...until he turns on his jets that help him fly.

MST3K:  Check it out, it's the Batmobile
Rifftrax:  He's activating his hemorrhoids!

There's also riffs on Mitch McConnell, Jewel, D-Day, United Airlines, and a Tom Hanks movie that people didn't like.

Gammera is available at the Rifftrax website.