Friday, October 23, 2026

Rifftrax's Wide World of Deathsport

 


The good thing about the second Rifftrax revival of MST3K (the SyFy years) is that we don't have to wait long to talk about it. So we will.

Failing to escape its connection with Roger Corman, Mike, Crow and Servo face something from the New World Pictures era with Deathsport, a post-apocalyptic feature from 1978. The Wikipedia page is pretty interesting since it spells out how much trouble they had making this movie. As Crow notices, "they spent all their money blowing up this movie instead of the movie itself." It's loaded with exploding motorcycles and vanishing victims thanks to a ray gun some of the bad guys have.

Before we get to the "plot", let's see what's been happening. As shown here, Pearl is trying to "revive" Deathsport by making it popular. 

                                       

She hints her lair is outside national borders, which may explain the aquarium, then says her Deathsport starts with Jarts. That's followed by Death Pickleball and Death NFL.
It does sound like she thought fake county fairs would lead to world domination (see "Squirm"). It also included injuries.

Anyway, the show starts with a short on hygiene for growing boys. There's a lot of comments about keeping clean and neat, and how bodies are like machines ("Rich is in dire need of an oil change"). It's good the show is reviving the mocking of shorts. 

Also, check this out:


In the old days, you just saw silhouettes. Now, you can actually tell there are three guys suffering through bad cinema. There's some light showing some details of our gang. Not even the Gizmoplex could do that.

The movie's about Earth about a thousand years after neutron wars and such. It's mostly barren with some very small patches of civilization. Our hero, played by David Carradine, is Kaz Oshay, who battles bad guys in a loincloth.


He's eventually captured by Ankar Moor, who "recruits" people for Deathsport. It's supposed to amuse the survivors while they plan more wars. The idea is to make the average person think they can survive in the sport...until he doesn't.

He joined by a woman called Deneer, which sounds like an obscure brand of air conditioners. She's played by Playboy playmate Claudia Jennings. Her ample nudity is why much of the movie was cut.
She's trying to find a little girl who was captured in an ambush, but winds up in this:


The movie is mainly motorcycle chases, explosions and a lot of taunting. There's also the evil leader dealing with brain decay, and Moor ready to take over.

It ends with a boring duel between Oshay and Moor with singing swords that are really off-key.

The host segments are cute, though. Tom sings about the pleasures of wearing a loincloth, and Bobo almost joins in. Then Tom and Crow talk about Australian Rules Deathsport.
Pearl, though, has her own version:


TV's Frank has been through worse, though. Somehow Observer will get through this.

Let's get to the riffs:

David Carradine
Well, I'll be hanged.

A bunch of mutants 
Oh, I miss Wisconsin (this is before Mike gets surprised by the Brewers)

"Your brain is decaying, my lord"
You need to floss your brain after every meal

Oshay and Deneer try their version of the Vulcan Mind Meld
You just know that Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham were doing this backstage.

Again, motorcycles blowed up real good
If Michael Bay directed Rad.

There's also riffs on Bill Belichick, three movies MST3K mocked, Fanduel, Angela Merkel, Frontier Airlines and Trader Joe's. 

Again, the credits are the best part of the show. Look at this viewer mail:


We also get a very short talk show that might be scorned by a comic who has a long name and some plants. At least Mike gets the upper hand for once.


So far, Mike is settling into his second kidnapping. It's also interesting he ruined a chance to escape but in a way that bots would have done. As for Pearl and her crew, she's starting to act more like her son when it comes to handling henchmen. The Secret Movie scheduled for next week for the Best Friends members (and November 7 for everyone else) may cause supposed harm in a unexpected way.

You can get the Rifftrax Experiments at rifftrax.com

Friday, October 9, 2026

It's Time For Rifftrax...In The Not Too Distant Future


 


Mike Nelson, in a dairy?
Thinks have changed in 25 years, but now they'll be the same again thanks to...


Yeah, he, Crow and Servo are back into a new Satellite of Love that Pearl made with her money she was able to skim from Qatar, although she needed an olive loaf company as a sponsor.

                                        

Anyway, she, Observer and Bobo are back, and really old (along with Mike, of course). They just want to accomplish something, like make some AI money. I think Pearl wants to make Mike her son that she can abuse, since Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank are dead...


HUH? I guess she cloned the wrong people, and they're OLDER! Well, we'll find out why soon.

The thing is, Mike, Kevin and Bill thought the best way to commemorate Rifftrax's 20th anniversary is to revive the Sci-Fi days of MST with four episodes through October and November. The first episode, Sting of Death, has been shown in theaters but is now available online.

This movie is one of those regional B-movies, made in Florida. It's like a Temu version of Creature of the Black Lagoon. A better explanation is what happens when you merge that movie with Blood Waters of Dr. Z.

A creature is killing people in a swampy part of Florida, starting with a girl trying to get a tan. We later meet a professor and some of his students talking about the great time they definitely won't have. 

There's also a guy named Egon, described as a "melted Adam West". He's tormented by a bunch of college students for no reason, but claims to have some scientific knowledge. That doesn't seem important...yet. Sadly, he's still considered Torgo of the Everglades.
Besides, it's not good to torment odd-looking guys for fun. That's how Little Death got started as a movie (and possibly something else). 


The creature wreaks havoc (and gets handsy with some of the girls like the one above)
while the doc tries to figure out what to do. They're also threatened by jellyfish that look more like mutant Beanie Babies.
It ends with the typical final conflict which shows the monster in its ultimate horror...hey, stop laughing...


At least it has the best closing line since Jurassic World.

This movie has two other fun facts. Neil Sedaka is featured in the soundtrack with his new sure-fire hit, "Do the Jellyfish" Who would have thought he'd have a big comeback nine years later?
The other is one of the girls is actually well-known. Deanna Lund would later star in Land of the Giants. 

The show only has one host segment, which is unusual since the Gizmoplex version had tons of them.
(Gizmoplex 2017-2026). What's stranger is that it's a song about the tardigrade, which looks like really small bears. There's even Mike as one of those little guys. Pearl is puzzled and disgusted, as usual. 

The movie is a good start to the four-episode revival. It will include Deathsport, which is good news for fans of Roger Corman and David Carradine. There's also Space Raiders, which is barely Ben Casey in space. It also uses clips from another movie, but after Space Mutiny it doesn't matter. 

There's one more movie, but that's being kept secret. Apparently Pearl will use that to destroy Mike and the Bots because it IS that bad. At least we know it's not Manos the Hands of Space...right?

So, riff time...

We see the "monster"...sort of
You put swim fins on its monster feet. That's smart. 

A girl sees an old radio from 1966
How do you zap Hot Pockets with this thing?

A guy falls off a boat
This is no time for your Natalie Wood impression

Mike's review of Neil Sedaka's comeback, "Do the Jellyfish"
It sounds like if a jar of mayonnaise recorded an album (to be fair, that applies to AM radio until 1968).

A chase scene with air boats
This used to be how Florida chose its governor

The doc looks for Egon
Can you get mosquito bites while watching a movie?

There's also riffs on Golden Corral (of course), Young Sheldon, Carnival cruises, Coppertone, Eli Manning, the Houston Astros and Winnie Cooper.

Oh, and stay through ALL the credits to see the first Viewer Mail segment since 1997 (yes, we include the fake one from SyFy) and the worst olive loaf commercial ever.
You know what to do, Kinga. MAKE GRANDMA EAT THE OLIVE LOAF!

The MST revival will continue through October and November. You can get yours at rifftrax.com