It's Time For Rifftrax...In The Not Too Distant Future

 

Mike Nelson, in a dairy?
Thinks have changed in 25 years, but now they'll be the same again thanks to...

Yeah, he, Crow and Servo are back into a new Satellite of Love that Pearl made with her money she was able to skim from Qatar, although she needed an olive loaf company as a sponsor.

                                        

Anyway, she, Observer and Bobo are back, and really old (along with Mike, of course). They just want to accomplish something, like make some AI money. I think Pearl wants to make Mike her son that she can abuse, since Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank are dead...

HUH? I guess she cloned the wrong people, and they're OLDER! Well, we'll find out why soon.

The thing is, Mike, Kevin and Bill thought the best way to commemorate Rifftrax's 20th anniversary is to revive the Sci-Fi days of MST with four episodes through October and November. The first episode, Sting of Death, has been shown in theaters but is now available online.

This movie is one of those regional B-movies, made in Florida. It's like a Temu version of Creature of the Black Lagoon. A better explanation is what happens when you merge that movie with Blood Waters of Dr. Z.

A creature is killing people in a swampy part of Florida, starting with a girl trying to get a tan. We later meet a professor and some of his students talking about the great time they definitely won't have. 

There's also a guy named Egon, described as a "melted Adam West". He's tormented by a bunch of college students for no reason, but claims to have some scientific knowledge. That doesn't seem important...yet. Sadly, he's still considered Torgo of the Everglades.
Besides, it's not good to torment odd-looking guys for fun. That's how Little Death got started as a movie (and possibly something else). 

The creature wreaks havoc (and gets handsy with some of the girls like the one above)
while the doc tries to figure out what to do. They're also threatened by jellyfish that look more like mutant Beanie Babies.
It ends with the typical final conflict which shows the monster in its ultimate horror...hey, stop laughing...

At least it has the best closing line since Jurassic World.

This movie has two other fun facts. Neil Sedaka is featured in the soundtrack with his new sure-fire hit, "Do the Jellyfish" Who would have thought he'd have a big comeback nine years later?
The other is one of the girls is actually well-known. Deanna Lund would later star in Land of the Giants. 

The show only has one host segment, which is unusual since the Gizmoplex version had tons of them.
(Gizmoplex 2017-2026). What's stranger is that it's a song about the tardigrade, which looks like really small bears. There's even Mike as one of those little guys. Pearl is puzzled and disgusted, as usual. 

The movie is a good start to the four-episode revival. It will include Deathsport, which is good news for fans of Roger Corman and David Carradine. There's also Space Raiders, which is barely Ben Casey in space. It also uses clips from another movie, but after Space Mutiny it doesn't matter. 

There's one more movie, but that's being kept secret. Apparently Pearl will use that to destroy Mike and the Bots because it IS that bad. At least we know it's not Manos the Hands of Space...right?

So, riff time...

We see the "monster"...sort of
You put swim fins on its monster feet. That's smart. 

A girl sees an old radio from 1966
How do you zap Hot Pockets with this thing?

A guy falls off a boat
This is no time for your Natalie Wood impression

Mike's review of Neil Sedaka's comeback, "Do the Jellyfish"
It sounds like if a jar of mayonnaise recorded an album (to be fair, that applies to AM radio until 1968).

A chase scene with air boats
This used to be how Florida chose its governor

The doc looks for Egon
Can you get mosquito bites while watching a movie?

There's also riffs on Golden Corral (of course), Young Sheldon, Carnival cruises, Coppertone, Eli Manning, the Houston Astros and Winnie Cooper.

Oh, and stay through ALL the credits to see the first Viewer Mail segment since 1997 (yes, we include the fake one from SyFy) and the worst olive loaf commercial ever.
You know what to do, Kinga. MAKE GRANDMA EAT THE OLIVE LOAF!

The MST revival will continue through October and November. You can get yours at rifftrax.com

Kickstarter Time! Now Rifftrax Will Become Its Father....Sort Of

 

You are not seeing things. THIS WILL HAPPEN!
Somehow it wasn't enough for the Rifftrax and MST3K crews to have a reunion back in 2016. 
Rifftrax had to pull a Darth Vader and become the master of MST3K...at least for four movies.
After that, who knows? A merger wouldn't be THAT out of the question.

The new Kickstarter campaign started on Groundhog Day with a goal of 20 thousand dollars. It's a pretty low goal, and it got smashed VERY quickly. In just ten hours, it scored a million dollars!
That's even more than the cost of a live Rifftrax show.
The plan is to show the first episode in theaters. We're guessing Pearl finally finds Mike and the bots (how long it takes probably won't be addressed) and gets him back to work.
Bobo and Brain Guy will be part of this, too, but they must admit a GOOD CHUNK of time has passed
Or maybe Pearl realizes "The Devil Wears Prada 2? Freakier Friday? Buffy just became a Star Search judge? WHERE'S MY OVERDUE SEQUEL? I wanna be in a Smart Industry! Now, how to start and bring back my SyFy hair?"
 

As you can see, Kevin and Bill just developed some strange growths on their hands, but the growths are benign until you show them Melania's documentary.

This is an interesting move considering the Gizmoplex tried to raise cash for new episodes but it didn't work out due to maybe donation fatigue or maybe the actors' strike. The need to see bad movies with justified derision is still strong, though. The Rifftrax streaming subscription model is as strong as ever, and it must have crossed Mike's mind he can revive MST in his own way. It's safe to say the set will be just like the SyFy days, along with the style. It's basically Rifftrax with the shadows and host segments.
IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

I still would like Pearl to mock Kinga's efforts, knowing she won't respond.
But what if she did? That has to be considered, if this experiment continues beyond 2026 and Thunderdome.
By the way, if Amazon Prime can copy Rifftrax's stunt of a poorly edited version of "It's a Wonderful Life", let's have a "Just the Jokes version"as a bonus reward

UPDATE:  Trace Beaulieu and TV's Frank Conniff will be part of the fourth and final MSTrax movie.
No word on whether Pearl, Bobo and Observer made this happen, but that would be a good explanation either through time travel (sort of what Joel) or cloning (hello, Synthias). However it happens, it could be the FINAL BATTLE. Maybe this is a way to get new people to take over while the bots can still be the Cyber Statler and Waldorf.

Anywho, pledges will be accepted until March 16th, and you can send some cash to RiffTraxMakesMST3K.com.

Stranger Things At A Theater Near Me

 

When the Duffer Brothers said they wanted to show the final episode Stranger Things in theaters, some people weren't surprised since some episodes were long enough to be movies. Happens all the time on Game of Thrones. 

Showing the last act, "The Right Side Up", turned out to be a good idea. It packed Reno's Cinemark Century Park 16 on New Year's Eve MANY times, and did the same on New Year's Day despite competition from college football. 

The other reason:  tickets are 20 bucks but it winds up being free. It's almost as good as watching at home, only bigger speakers and free snacks. The voucher's not THAT much, but if you calculate it well, it's great. Just think outside the need for popcorn.

There were fans ready for the experience...

Now BBC America used to show Doctor Who episodes in theaters, like "The Husbands of River Song", but they didn't exactly pack houses. Netflix really threw the dice thinking Stranger Things could pull in fans away from TVs at towards theaters. It's also proof Netflix is NOT to blame for fewer people going to theaters. It's medium popcorn for eight bucks. That's why they have to go to drastic measures like Marty Supreme popcorn buckets. 

So, how was the finale?
Here's what Entertainment Weekly thought of it, but I thought it was a solid finale. I would have preferred certain things happen, like Dr. Kay gets eaten by a Demogorgon (it could still happen if there's occasional follow-ups like Nancy Wheeler as the new Kolchak).
They added a surprising insight on Vecna, but he also winds up clashing with karma. Just see the episode, you'll know.

The biggest debate was what really happened to Eleven. The Duffer Brothers set it up for the viewer to decide, but she made sure crazy scientists with mutated definitions of patriotism (hello, General Shaw) won't try to remake her. If Netflix and the Duffers want to "continue" the story, they have a loophole, but it still has to be temporary. If El is somehow still around, she should get ONE curtain call and that's it. Also, have her prove she can do more than telepathic powers. If she wins without it, that's her mic drop and farewell.
Besides, Holly is clearly the next leader.

Anyway, the Duffers have their take courtesy of Variety.

Still, it makes you wonder why HBO didn't try this for the last act of Game of Thrones...or if anyone can do this again. It's not like Netflix premiering a movie then showing it at the streamer a month later.
Maybe Hulu can show the first Buffy revival episode in theaters then on Disney Plus/Hulu a week later.

In any case, it was a great way to spend part of New Year's Eve.
Now comes awards season, which should boost ticket sales thanks to movie fans who need to catch up on seeing nominated movies.

Rifftrax Live: The TimeCop Is Our Friend

 
If it's August, it must be time for Rifftrax in theaters.
This year, Mike, Bill and Kevin took on a cheesy drama from the '90s which mixes Time Chasers with martial arts. It's TimeCop with Jean-Claude Van Damme. At least here, he's not dealing with some punk kid who gets help from the ghost of Bruce Lee. 

He's a cop who decides to join a special group that uses time travel to stop crime. It doesn't like people going back to 1929 to buy stocks that survive the Wall Street Crash. That's actually a plot point.

The bad guy is Ron Silver, who uses time travel to get gold from the Civil War to pay for his presidential campaign. He even meets his nerdy younger self to make sure he succeeds. He has henchmen, of course, who also time travel to eliminate "threats" like JCVD. 

Van Damme joins the group after said time-traveling henchmen kill his wife and blow up their house. That doesn't mean she's out of the movie, since she'll show up a couple more times after she "dies"...and we don't mean like in Space Mutiny.
By the way, his wife is played by Mia Sara. She's best known for Ferris Bueller's Day Off but was in The Life of Chuck recently.

Once Van Damme goes time-traveling the plot really gets confusing, and you wonder how the henchmen keep showing up or how Silver suddenly owns the cops. You also wonder why Van Damme's wife has to climb the roof while newly pregnant. Still, what counts is that Van Damme forces purse snatchers to read his shoe, kicks a lot or does the splits.
Oh, and this was pointed out on Facebook, but the boss was played by Bruce McGill who was D-Day in Animal House. It's safe to say D-Day's parade car was less ugly than the cars in fake year 2004.

What really steals the show is a short called "Our Friend, The Policeman." (Link is here)  It talks about how great a policemen is, and how he's our friend and such. In fact, there's a LONG song about the greatness that is a policeman. It'll drive you to the nearest Tylenol bottle. 

Not only that, for the first time, I got my name in the credits. Of course, I had to buy my spot, but it is worth having it at least once. There's another list where the font is MUCH smaller, but this time it was quite readable to the people in the theater audience. Anyway, here's my piece of Rifftrax
history:


                                           

Now, time for the riffs:

The title shows up
I want your badge and your gun on my desk yesterday

Silver's henchman tries to rob Civil War soldiers with machine guns from the future
If this had happened during Ken Burns' Civil War, I wouldn't have fallen asleep.

Two suspicious guys follow Van Damme
Was that Penn and Teller?

Old Ron Silver meets Young Ron Silver
Is my naughtiest fantasies coming true?

"You're not Max"
You have no Headroom

Van Damme avoids electrocution by doing the splits on a countertop
Get your groin off the waffles

There's also riffs on Handmaid's Tale, The Utah Jazz, that policeman short, Marjorie Taylor Greene and the Boy Scouts.

The DVD for the show should come later this fall. You can enjoy the other live shows at rifftrax.com. 

Rifftrax Kickstarter 2025: STOP! In the Name of Time

 

Well, Rifftrax is moving on up when it comes to getting movies for live shows.

After getting Point Break with REAL ACTORS, they've done it again with Time Cop with Jean Claude Van Damme. It's a cheesy 90s sci-fi movie, but it did fine. It's almost a cult classic.
This time, they're asking 350 thousand dollars. Once again, they hit that goal in less than two days.
This time, I decided to splurge to get my name on the screen...just once. It also means I get a pin, shirt, blu-ray...and a Christmas ornament of a lion who says he can eat candy.
Yes, from THAT cheesy Christmas short they had a while ago. 
WORTH IT!

So, what is this "time cop"?

Actually, it's a more physical version of Time Chasers. Jean-Claude plays a guy whose wife is killed. He later becomes a police officer of sorts, going back in the past to find people from the present to change history and also profit from it. The bad guy is a senator called Aaron McComb, played by Ron Silver. He figures time travel is a great way to get fast cash for his presidential campaign. Thing is, wouldn't money from the past be worth less in the present? Too bad they didn't consider that idea.
Anyway, it explains why Ron Silver (the actor) was the Big Bad in that Heat Vision and Jack pilot.

By the way, Time Cop did become a TV show three years later, but the plot involved stopping people who used time travel for evil means. No plot about changing the past to suddenly get five mil for last-minute ads. 

Rifftrax will tape the show in Nashville on June 26th, then show it twice on August 14 and 19th. Since it's close to two hours, it's likely the event will be just the movie with very short pre-movie banter. I am guessing we'll get outtakes in the blu-ray. 
So far, the Super-Deluxe Rewards have sold out, but it's likely some will be replenished. The real issue is which stretch goals will be offered....and which recent movies will be riffed by the boys. Will it include Dune, Part Two, or maybe (we dare you) Wicked? 
Someone also suggested pummeling Madame Web...but Bridget and Mary Jo riffs it.

If you'd like to donate, visit the Kickstarter website.

Rifftrax Looks At An MST3K Live Show

Way back in 2017, Mystery Science Theater 3000 had a live tour and featured two movies. One was an old favorite, Eegah. The other was yet another European movie that tries to profit from the super hero fad.

Some are familiar with Rifftrax offerings like Superargo and Supersonic Man, and MST's showing of Puma Man. Then we have a new addition from Rifftrax called Argoman. It's about a British guy who has super powers but uses them to get chicks and steal stuff that he hopes no one will miss. You know, like the Mona Lisa.
Not exactly defending truth, justice and the European way.
The cut of his costume is also a bit too suggestive.
Anyway, this was part of MST3K's live tour to plug its return on Netflix. This clip is from its stop in Atlanta, where they do a fashion show of robes.

So, what IS this movie?

Well, what if Austin Powers had super powers but wasn't so...average-looking (as English guys go)?
He apparently has tele-kinesis that helps him pick up chicks, literally. He also has cameras at the places where his other girlfriends are. It's that pervy. 
Oh, and he loses his powers for six hours after he has sex.

Meanwhile, some woman named Jenabell, Queen of the World, steals a crown then decides to rob a bank in France...and give people the cash to ruin the economy, sort of. She's really after a large diamond that will also ruin the economy and threaten the world. 

Naturally, they confront each other and it quickly becomes a live version of Penthouse Forum. It doesn't slow down her plans for conquest. She wants to show Su-maru how it should be done, like recruiting  several important figures to do her bidding.

Still, Argoman, aka Super Hugh Hefner, defeats Jenabell but is also accused of stealing the same crown Jenabell took. Let's just say he may or may not return it.

It's too bad it wasn't part of the Gauntlet or Season 13, but maybe it worked better as a live show than on Netflix.

Now it's riff time:

The movie takes a jaunt around London.
Sure it's old and wet but at least it's also very brown.

Argoman wastes his telekinetic powers to grab a hovercraft pilot
Watch out for Pumaman

He enjoys a kiss with the sexy pilot
You taste like Jim Leyland

Jenabell gets the big diamond
I'll be almost as powerful as Taylor Swift

Argoman "fights"
He makes Adam West look like Donnie Yen.

There's also riffs on Carmen San Diego, Mr. Bean, Hunger Games, Godzilla, and Johnny Quest. 
It's available at rifftrax.com.

The Last Picture Show In Downtown Reno

 

Hundreds of theaters showed the latest over-priced holiday movie, Red One. This was not one of them.

The Cinemark Century Riverside 12 in downtown Reno showed its last movies this past November 14. The movie chain had announced a while ago it would end its lease at North Sierra Street after losing customers to its two other Cinemark theaters. The appeal of watching a movie near the Truckee River just faded after more than 20 years.

Here are some pictures, like the schedule of the last set of showings:

a sign for a movie that is never coming:

a sign of what is not to come...

and of course, the final ticket...

There wasn't a massive number of customers hoping to get one last look at the theater. Maybe it's because hardly anyone knew about it. The website barely mentioned it but certainly said one theater was going to get improvements including an XD screen. There should have been more publicity before the big closing night. 

I've been there more often than the other two Cinemarks, only because it's closer to my house. If there are any special memories about the place, there was the time I saw a special Rifftrax showing the height of COVID. There have been some "accidental" private screenings, but the biggest was when a sneak preview got cancelled because the movie file was damaged. Got two free tickets I still haven't used. 

At least it's good news for the Galaxy theater near the Nugget (also a former Cinemark theater) in downtown Sparks. It has some advantages including premium screens along with beer and wine. The Cinemark in Reno was old-fashioned as far as offerings were concerned. Another Cinemark two miles away has beer and wine plus self-serve soda. The writing was on the screen.

Hopefully someone will bring back movies to downtown Reno. The city needs more investment in downtown, and maybe another Galaxy or even AMC will help the area. It'll be a long time, though.

Two Movies That Will Never Reach Reno

 

Recently, I spent three days to meet one of my favorite liberal talk show hosts, Stephanie Miller, and tour the Intuit Dome (aka Sofi Stadium, Jr.). 

Also, I fit in two movies, neither of which will reach Reno in favor of bigger movies like Venom, Smile 2 and (STILL) Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. That'll be followed by Hugh Grant as a horror star, and (very soon) a different look at the Yellow Brick Road.

The first one is Juror Number Two, which might be Clint Eastwood's last movie. It's about a guy named Justin (Nicholas Hoult) who's been chosen for jury duty in a murder trial. The defendant is accused is beating his girlfriend to death near a road house. However, Justin suspects he may have killed her by running her down in his car.

Could he tell someone? A lawyer friend of his advises against it, since Justin is a recovering alcoholic. The prosecutor, played by Toni Collette, is relying on this case in her bid to become District Attorney.
The movie centers on whether Justin will confess, or somehow avoid saying anything.

The movie is actually a nice, straight-forward legal drama. It shows what happened, through both sides. The jury gets tainted a bit when it revealed one of the jurors is a former police detective. Another juror thinks the defendant is guilty because he has a gang tattoo. A third has some medical knowledge that suggests the victim was killed in another way. All the time, Justin tells his fellow jurors to be careful before rendering a verdict. His guilt doesn't overcome him,
As for the prosecutor, she actually wants to get to the bottom of the case, and does some legwork thanks to the ex-detective.

Hoult does a good job as the conflicted man who wonders if he's really guilty, but also wonders if there is a way out. After all, there's a baby on the way and he can't break up his family. This is especially true in the final act when the jury is sent to the scene of the crime. The way he recalls what really happens leads to a very interesting final scene.

The real mystery is why Warner Brothers decided to show this movie at only a few screens nationwide, including a few in L-A. It's got a wide release overseas, so it could break even by the time it finally reaches Max and HBO in late December. If this was given a thousand screens in the US, at least it would show some respect for Clint. 

Then there's this movie, which will be on Netflix in a few days. Some lucky people got to see it in theaters, but the best way was at the Egyptian on Hollywood Boulevard.

Anyway, Emilia Perez made a big splash in Cannes last Spring. The plot is wild enough: in Mexico City, an attorney named Rita (Zoe Saldana) is hired by a cartel leader named Manitas Del Monte to make him disappear...then get a new life as a woman named Emilia Perez. She is played by trans actress Karla Sofia Gascon. The transformation from drug thug to fashionable woman is incredible, as is her performance.
While Emilia wants a new life, leaving her past life behind isn't so easy. There is the matter of Emilia's wife Jessi (Selena Gomez) and two kids. They're sent to Switzerland for a while, then sent back to Mexico. There, Jessi meets Emilia as Manitas' "cousin". 
Emilia finds a new purpose organizing a charity that recovers people who have disappeared and maybe killed by drug dealers. She actually gets a lot of praise, and also meets a widow who's glad her husband is dead. It's not long before they become a couple. 

The movie has some incredible songs and musical numbers that work as commentary of the plot. The best one is where Rita comments on how Emilia is using the elite for her gains, while it hopes its financial help will wash away their sins. Saldana is incredible here, and shows she should look into getting in more musicals. 

Meanwhile, Jessi is having the time of her life with a man named Gustavo. When she says she'll marry him, Emilia's jealousy sets off some tragic events that even includes her kidnapping

The movie earned Best Actress honors for the four main females, along with the Jury Prize. It's expected to contend for Best International Film come award season. The Egyptian gave away a poster which "summarized" the movie in 35 images. 
This also should have gotten exposure in theaters. It's one thing to see it on Netflix, but another on the big screen. Put it in 800 theaters nationwide for three weeks, then on Netflix. An upcoming biopic on Maria Callas should also get that attention, since some film fans say it'll get Angelina Jolie back in awards season.

By the way, the theater website says it will be shown in 35 mm one more time in November, then an appearance from director Jacques Audiard in December. If you are in town, GO!

Reviewing Two Movies On The Past And Future

 

October is fading away, but November will kick off Awards Season with much better movies. We're due to see the process of choosing a pope, an unusual musical, and some Russians trying to cancel a marriage (and not succeeding too well on that).

Some interesting movies have gotten lost in the shuffle, and this is my way of commenting on them. The first is My Old Ass with Aubrey Plaza and newcomer Maisy Stella. They technically play the same person, someone named Elliott. Maisy is the 18 year old version who's looking forward to leaving her cranberry farm in Ontario for adventures in Toronto. She'd especially would like to get away from her quirky family, including a brother who is Saoirse Ronan's number one fan.

Anyway, after drinking some very potent mushroom tea, she meets her 39 year old self, played by Plaza. Young Elliott is stunned, and the movie never explains how this happens. Plaza did play a woman who was up for some time travel in Safety Not Guaranteed. Maybe that character got separated from Mark Duplass and wound up in the past....where she gives birth to Elliott's mom. Maybe Future Elliott got a hold of another form of time travel and we have this meeting.

The point is, Future Elliott is careful not to mention too much of the future, but does tell Young Elliott to stay close to her family. BUT she should also avoid getting involved with anyone named Chad.
Both Elliotts do stay in contact for a while via cell, and Young Elliott does meet a guy named Chad played by Percy Hynes White.
Despite the fact Young Elliott is attracted to women, including a hot and heavy romance, she's drawn to Chad. He's a decent guy, actually, and a good mechanic. So what's the problem?

Well, Old Elliott is suddenly unreachable, so Young Elliott is on her own. That actually makes sense because Young Elliott might make the wrong choice and Earth blows up. Not here, though.
She's also thrown for a loop by some decisions her family makes. Her dad just says she shouldn't expect the future to be one thing.

Eventually, Old Elliott does come back, and finds out Young Elliott has made up her mind about Chad.
Old Elliott is not happy with that decision, but the reason is quite unexpected.
The final ten minutes actually makes the movie work as a coming-of-age flick. Old Elliott finally explains her Chad-a-phobia, and Young Elliott tells her future self what she'll do. The big moment is who meets both Elliotts and SEES THEM CLEARLY.  It's a moment that makes the film special.

Maisy and Aubrey are great together as both sides of the same woman, with te younger self wondering if the future knows what she's talking about. Aubrey's big scene at the end is very good, and Future Aubrey realizes trying to "correct" the past may not help her in 2045.

The movie is mainly off theater screens to make room for Halloween fare, but should be on Prime Video in November

Then, there's the origin story of Donald Trump, where he becomes The Apprentice. Sebastian Stan, who plays Trump and usually a Winter Soldier, said in EW that there is a little Trump in everyone. This is how the Trump we know came into being. The movie shows it's mainly due to notorious lawyer Roy Cohn, played by Jeremy Strong. Seeing both notice each other is very chilling.

At the start, Trump may be VP of his dad's real estate firm, but it's mainly collecting the rent. That's an amusing sight to behold. Trump and Cohn do meet to try to find a way to make housing discrimination charges dropped. Donald does see how ruthless Cohn can be. Trump recoils from this, but not for long. 
From there, the movie shows the slow development of Trump through Cohn's advise and help. He also finds love from a model named Ivana (Maria Bakalova). Cohn isn't sure about this, but lets it happen. It also shows the collapse of Trump's brother Fred Jr,, and hints strongly Donald should have made more of an effort. As Donald becomes more of a success, he leaves people behind. That includes Cohn, who will lose a lot in influence and also his health.

The movie has some interesting comments about Trump seemingly skeptical of getting into politics, and showing ignorance about his health. It mentions his financial problems in passing, but more details about that would made it a stronger movie. 

Both Stan and Strong are just incredible as Trump and Cohn. They could have a good chance at the Oscar race, but they might be crowded out by many other actors who will impress over the holidays.  The fact that The Apprentice has been in very few screens is another factor. It might make a comeback when it hits the streamers, but we shall see. 

One more thing: I was surprised seven other people were there for the one showing the Cinemark Sierra Theater had. They stayed, and seemed to be interested in it. I suspect it will get its money back thanks to streaming over the holidays. there is one movie that will flatter the heck out of him, but it doesn't have a Winter Soldier

Review of The Substance: Mike Nelson Has Seen This Movie Before

 

It's been a while since I did a review, but after seeing that horror movie that's MUCH more than skin deep known as The Substance, I had to say some things about it. 

Anyone who has seen it already know the irony of the above picture. Otherwise, SEE THIS MOVIE. It's got a lot to say about beauty and its false worth with Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley as (in a way) the same person.
Of course, it made a big splash recently in Cannes thanks to its story about Elizabeth Sparkle, a fading Hollywood star who's fired from her fitness TV show because she's 50. That's the reason an oily guy named Harvey (Dennis Quaid) gives, anyway.

Liz gets her hands on a black-market drug called "The Substance", which claims can make her a better and younger version of herself. It does, namely a woman named Sue. How she emerges is only the start of the horror. 
Are there drawbacks? You bet. The drug works if both Liz and Sue stick to switching bodies every seven days exactly. That means one is "hibernating" while the other is active. Sue fails to do that and Liz pays the price for it in gruesome ways. However, Liz also makes sure Sue pays a price. 

The second half is especially shocking about how both Liz and Sue (who, remember, are the same person) battle for power by abusing the drug. What the movie does to show this battle in horrifying ways will knock you for a loop, especially the last 20 minutes.
It's also notable there are NO sympathetic men in the film. It's like the movie exists in a world where Trump's in charge and sexual harassment is part of the Constitution. 

Of course, both Demi and Margaret really commit to their roles. It's Demi's best role of someone who's trying to maintain a life at a high cost. Margaret may be vapid thanks to her beauty, but it's not long before she realizes how easily her perfect life can end. If not for the fact that the Oscars are allergic to horror (with some exceptions), they should be up for awards.

I was especially surprised how far both actresses went in this movie. You get an extensive look on what they look like nude. For Demi, it shows her body is just fine no matter what Harvey says. For Margaret, showing her nude in her early scenes makes sense because Sue is literally born from Liz's spine. It takes her some time not only to be able to speak, but stabilize Liz while she is out of commission. Clothes, and stealing Liz's life, come later. 

A more impressive move is how the movie starts. An egg is injected with something, and eventually it becomes two eggs. That's followed with how Liz gets a star on the Walk of Fame but it ages and cracks along with her. It certainly gets the message across. 

So how come I said that "Mike Nelson has seen this movie before"? 
The story is actually familiar to anyone who saw The Leech Woman, the second episode from season eight of Mystery Science Theater 3000.This was about a woman who drinks to forget she isn't as young as she used to be. Thanks to a mysterious old woman, she discovers a rare flower from Africa that can make her young. Thing is, it has to be mixed with secretions from pineal glands for it to work.
So, it's a 1950's version of The Substance. Actually, it's a variation of the vampire theme, with the Leech Woman seeking glands instead of blood. 
Still, is it that far away from an aging woman using a dangerous drug to be young, resulting in side effects that will destroy her? 

The movie may not in theaters for long, thanks to upcoming competition from a Joker, other horror movies and the origin story of SNL. Still, seek out The Substance when you can.

Rifftrax Expects Us To Pay To See Point Break Riffed? Sure!

 

This movie has been a source for MST and Rifftrax riffs, featuring two movie heartthrobs from the 1990s. 
This week, Rifftrax took on the original 1991 version of Point Break, where Keanu Reeves as an FBI agent hopes to surf his way into breaking up a robbery gang led by Patrick Swayze.

Instead of broadcasting from Nashville, the Rifftrax gang did the show from the State Theater in Minneapolis, site of the MST reunion eight years ago. It was packed to the brim, and the crowd really enjoyed the story of how an ex-quarterback hoped to be Eliot Ness. While that may be interesting, Gary Busey steals this show as the hot-headed Pappas. John C. McGinley of Scrubs was also fun as a really stiff FBI supervisor.

The plot, of course, is about how Reeves, as Johnny Utah, takes on a gang of robbers known as the Ex-Presidents because of their masks. He finds out they're also surfers, and tries to infiltrate them. Using a waitress (Lori Petty) who happens to know one of the robbers, he first has to learn how to surf...and has to ask her to help out. He eventually meets Bodhi, played by Patrick Swayze. Utah gets sucked into the surfing culture, but still has to prove Bodhi is the bank robber.
The real fun is towards the end, when Bodhi figures out who Utah is, and forces the agent to be in one of the robberies. The chase scene with Reeves and Swayze is also classic. What other chase includes home invasions?
The ending is also a bit out there, where Bodhi begs to ride a special wave in Australia before he's carted away. It's kind of weird, but with two classic leading men, it's a fun cult classic.

It's fairly impressive that Rifftrax got their hands on this movie, which was directed by Kathryn Bigelow and was executive produced by her then-husband James Cameron. That's the power of Kickstarter, even though they also got Ladyhawke and Super Mario Brothers without it.

The riffs came fast and furious (is that movie next?), with some that were fairly topical. They remarked how odd it was that Keanu was cast as an FBI agent, but also mocked his and Swayze's movies. They still swooned a bit towards Swayze, considering he inspired a special Christmas carol.  

Now, it's riff time:

Pappas mocks Utah without seeing him...then meets him
No, I wanted the other excellent adventurer

The Ex-Presidents rob a bank
This is what presidential elections have become now

"Too much testosterone around here"
Opposite of a Maroon 5 concert

A surfer slugs Utah
That's for Johnny Mnemonic (four years later?)

Pappas points a gun and says "Speak into the microphone, squid brain"
That would be a great name for the Joe Rogan podcast

There were also riffs on Courtney Love, The Golden Girls, Capri Sun, Spirit Airlines and a certain Australian America is still trying to forget.

The live show is expected to be available to everyone sometime this fall, and should be a very popular feature. In the meantime, Rifftrax has some good features like a Bill Rebane movie (?), a disaster movie where people get sweaty before they die, and a rock and roll movie about a girl trying to get to the prom. See them at rifftrax.com

Real Housewives of Rifftrax Take On Bert I. Gordon's Idea of Noir

 

We've been a bit behind on a lot of things, mainly due to revisiting a Hellmouth and looking for a Slayer's house.

However, we are finally able to comment on Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl's third attempt to mock an old target of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Two years after Jan in the Pan, they're revisiting Tormented from 1960. This is Bert I. Gordon trying to spread his wings after doing movies about big spiders and bigger guys. It's his idea of a noir-mystery movie with his semi-special effects.  

It stars Richard Carlson (from Minnesota) who plays Tom Stewart, a jazz musician who's trying to get rid of a girlfriend to marry a rich young woman named Meg, He breaks the news to Vi (the ex) at a lighthouse. She refuses to cooperate, and threatens a lawsuit. Then she tumbles over a railing and hangs on with one hand. Tom decides to let her fall after a near-attempt to rescue her. 

Foe the rest of the movie, the ghost of Vi apparently haunts him, although his guilt is slowly driving him nuts, too. He's also bothered by Sandy, Meg's sister (played by Bert's daughter) and a blind landlord. 

Then some boat guy named Nick (played by Joe Turkel, who's had an impressive career) thinks Tom may have knocked off Vi, and blackmails him. Tom kills Nick, but there's a witness.

Usually, Bridget and Mary Jo have a soft spot for Carlson, but they said the young version of him is like an older Arnold Schwarzenegger. They jab on him a bit,  but they're more annoyed by Vi and how she torments him. Since he deliberately didn't save her, that tracks. They also don't know if it's horror or romance. Well, it's not.

Now, let's compare riffs between the two versions:

"Jodi Reding as Vi"
MST: as six?
Rifftrax:  She's missing an "e" and a "d"

"It's Sandy"
MST:  Your little conscience
Rifftrax:  I was cast as the annoying kid

Meg shows up at the lighthouse
MST:  My ten o'clock
Rifftrax:  Oh, thank goodness, a non-dead woman

Tom tries to move on from Vi's ghost
MST:  I'll make your life a living Hell, good night!
Rifftrax:  and that's how you break up with a ghost

"Tom Stewart killed me!"
MST:  Everybody, Tom Stewart killed me!
Rifftrax:  Nobody likes a braggart

Tom kills Nick, who wants to blackmail Tom, but they're not alone
MST:  Jim Henson's Witness Babies
Rifftrax:  Sandy's going to have quite the "What I Did Last Summer" essay 

Sandy confronts Tom
MST:  Sandy's back and she's pissed
Rifftrax:  Jessica Fletcher's Super Early Years

There's also riffs on The Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf, Ursula Andress, The She Creature and Die Hard.

Some of the Rifftrax riffs are similar to the original but Bridget comes with a doozy towards the end. Still, the MST version is better because it has more pop references. It also has a good running gag on "Sessions presents" albums, and Tom Servo's "I'm gonna kill me a girlfriend"

Both versions of Tormented are available at the Rifftrax website. 

I! AM! ANOTHER! RIFFTRAX! LIVE! EVENT! THAT! NEEDS! MONEY!

 

And here we go again. 
This week, Rifftrax started its annual pledge drive to fund the mocking of a cheesy movie.
This year, though, it's a REAL movie, with people we've heard of...even an Oscar winner.
What's next, Speed? Speed 2, maybe?
Hey, if they managed to get Ladyhawke a while ago...

The movie is Point Break, where a rookie FBI agent who used to be a college quarterback has to find bank robbers who wear masks and surf. The main plot is that Johnny admires (kinda) Bohdi, the leader of the gang, but has to arrest the guy. Naturally, it's been used as a riff on MST3K a few times, but it's a big get. You get massive amounts of Keanu Reeves, Gary Busey when he was coherent, and Patrick Dempsey. Also, it's directed by Kathryn Bigelow, who's a professional and an Oscar winner. That's almost unheard of in Rifftrax movies. It's the anti-RAD. 

There's also working hard to hit their goal of 350 thousand dollars, which should be reached fairly quickly. The gang will be on The Mads Are Back as the post-movie guests, almost like they're on late-night TV. It's also the first time since Jack-O that it's a taped event rather than a live show. They will have the show from the State Theater in Minneapolis two weeks before it's shown on August 8 and 13. It's still a minor point because a riff show is a riff show, live or not. 

Again, the gang should hit their goal before they're on TMAB, but the real fun happens afterwards. We get the offer of "ten shorts for a dollar" plus stretch goals. That means mp3s of big movies, but the fun is predicting which ones. Ten bucks says Wonka is next if not inevitable. Dune 2 may be too good to pass up. Madame Web may be another story.

Anyway, fans can contribute and get neat swag by going here. The deadline is April 8.

Rifftrax Proves It's No Mickey Mouse Operation

 

Who's the riffing trio that just mocked Steamboat Willie?
N-E-L-S-O-N, Bill, and Kev Murphy!

When the 1929 cartoon that put Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse on the map, "Steamboat Willie", fell into public domain just after New Year's Day, the mouse found himself in odd places. 
He was in an Adult Swim promo, a few video games, and plans for a horror movie just like Winnie the Pooh.
Then, out of the blue, Rifftrax decided to mock the short that led to amusement parks, animation. media dominance and singing teens with odd hats (more than once). 

It showed some respect but not too much. It's famous because it was the first sound cartoon, but it's basically gags you'd see in silent animation. One of the first reactions came from Bill:  "So, a century-old evil empire was based on this, huh?"

There was a lot of comments on how Mickey would play "Turkey in the Straw" and turn all the animals into instruments. That included a goat that ate a ukelele, followed by a pig, a cat and a goose. Mike described it as "what happens on a Disney cruise", which would get him to buy a ticket. 
There's also how Minnie is brought to the boat via a hook (with "sexy" results), and how Music Goat became so beloved.

There were also riffs on Dubuque, IA, Charlotte's Web, a certain Marvel movie and Bugs Bunny.

The big news is that Rifftrax saw an opportunity and took it. If they do this to other Disney shorts in the future ("Plane Crazy", for example), there's a chance it'll do that.

It's also getting attention from the new GrimTrax spinoff, featuring really depressing shorts. The first series includes a lonely old woman, a boy who dies yet no one cares (that's the real horror) and one on job safety that should be called "Have An Orgy With Danger". It's on the Rifftrax website.

After 34 Years, Have We Outgrown MST3K? HELL NO! Why the Season 14 Campaign Didn't Work

 

It's done.
The Season 14 Fundraiser hoped to get at least four million dollars for six episodes.
It fell short by one point three million.
So what does it mean?

Combing through Facebook and the MST message board, it's several reasons. Some aren't charmed by the revival. Some are still upset it took so long to get the swag from the Season 13 fundraiser. Some just didn't have the money right now. Some people thought it was about time the Gizmoplex funded itself, but cash from Pluto and Tubi aren't quite enough.

One of the more interesting takes came from the November 21st edition of the True Blue Riffcast, which reviews VODs and other things from Rifftrax. This was taped during the first day of the fundraiser, before the site added a running total. Before they razzed the TV version of Samson and Delilah, the hosts wondered why episodes for season 14 would average 616 to 667 thousand dollars apiece. 

First, let's make it clear the hosts are not fans of the revival, although they gave it a try. That's fine, since there are people who think the real MST lasted until 1999. Others think Doctor Who in the 21st Century isn't as good as the old days. 

Now, some clarity: if the fundraiser did hit four million, it would pay for six movies, six shorts and 18 "improved" classic episodes. So, an episode would have been closer to maybe 500 thousand, followed by maybe 90 thousand for a short and the rest for the classic episodes.

This was also before Joel sent an update which listed how the money was being spent, and revealed plans to go back to physical sets. Also, this was before he came up with some cost-cutting measures to make a new season easier to get.

The True Blue hosts also claim the MST audience is getting older, and that the show isn't as much of a cultural impact as it was in the early days.
Well, the original Mads are picking up a lot of business with its monthly shows, while Rifftrax is going strong. So, people want more of the original source for sarcastic movie opinions. 
It's likely after the fundraiser, the True Blue guys have a better idea of what it's all about. They might still believe new MST3K will never be as good as those episodes from Times Past. 
The Season 14 fundraiser just didn't work due to a perfect storm of bad timing, and let's not forget the SAG-AFTRA strike held back promotion.

So, what can be done?
Joel said this past weekend he isn't giving up. In his latest e-mail, he said "(one) silver lining is that the continued support for this campaign, and the show, may have opened up some new conversations about potential partnerships and fundraising that could be key in getting the show another season." 

So, it could be part fund-raiser with the rest funded by someone. Asking Shout! Factory to cover half the cost could work.
Also, it helps we know what the first six movies will be, including Plan Nine and Battle Beyond the Stars.
If there is a guarantee we'll have Gauntlet II with just those movies, that'll help. Also, instead of six movies in one day, have them run daily over a week. Disney Plus is doing that with the second season of What If...?

Next, how do we handle Gauntlet II? Kinga would recapture Joel, Emily and (maybe) Joel, then impose the ultimate punishment. Yeah, Plan Nine From Outer Space. She'll expect them to be driven to madness, but my guess is they'll express distain but that's it. It could be set up where Jonah suffers through a reel, followed by Emily.
Then, Kinga will wonder why the test cases don't become comatose husks. She and Max take over for Jonah, the two Synthias for Emily. Then they know why.

After that, Joel gets a movie, and Jonah and Emily split the rest.

What about Pearl? Maybe keep her "missing" while she's at Dumb Industries and Rifftrax, then spring her out of the blue when season 15 is approved.

Just try again, maybe in March.

We will have a season 14 somehow.

Time For Fund Another Season of MST3K

 

Last Christmas, we gave MST our heart
But Joel, Emily and Jonah (and Pearl) all ran away
This year, they expect us to pay
For just one more season, season, season.

Just one more? NO WAY!
We'll shut up and keep paying for this, especially if we get value.
OK, of course, they'll all come back somehow like the guy who tried to escape from Squid Game, and it's back to cheesy movies, the worst we can find, etc.
My hopes are that MegaSynthia gets a lot more coherent (like Synthia did), and we find out Cabal is a fraud but points out his ideas did work.
Oh, and he shoves Kinga and Max into the theater for a reel, and turns out they're a little too good at this riffing thing. 

This time, Joel and company will forsake Kickstarter and do it themselves. It started the week before Halloween, and will run until the day after Thanksgiving. It's a good choice of dates. 
As usual, the more people contribute, the more shows they make. The minimum goal is $4.2 million, which means six movies, six shorts and 18 restored episodes. The maximum is $7.4 million which gets 12 movies, 12 shorts and 36 (!) restored episodes. Maybe by then they can come up with a way to keep The Final Sacrifice available to all

Here's a video to explain more:

The perks are also available, especially knit caps, pins and t-shirts. They also have a new company who's better at shipping stuff. They are also offering special perks where your name is included in the credits or you can attend a class in riffing. 

Actually, considering the costs and value of the perks, it's still a good deal. Remember, those who got the full one-year pass got the shows, shorts, and post-movie interviews which were better than the movie. The chance for people who made the next MST targets explain themselves is priceless. Imagine if Hal Warren had to explain his movie.

This show will be 35 years old in a month (although it says that happens next year, but only as a national show. At least it exists!), It deserves to hit middle age.
Please give!
Oh, and here's the link as well. 

It's SO Eighties! Rifftrax Goes RAD

 

It's August, and it's time for another Rifftrax Live show. This time, it looks at a sport that is somehow part of the X Games.

The movie is RAD, made in 1986, and basically No Defeat, No Surrender with bikes. It's about  a paperboy named Cru who rides his BMX bike in really dangerous ways. Still, people want their USA Today. 
Some guys in suits led by Jack Weston come to Cru's town to promote a cool BMX contest and drum up business in the town. He's actually trying to boost his client Bart Taylor, barely portrayed by Bart Connor (yes, the gymnast who did NOT invent Gymkata but got hitched to Nadia Comaneci).

Cru wants to participate, but his mom, who is bitter since her movie career collapsed and got her trapped in this film, insists he work on getting to college.

So, it seems this movie will be about Cru and the hotshot BMX guy...until some hot girl enters the scene. She's played by Lori Loughlin. For some reason she can ride a BMX bike better than anyone. How come SHE's not in the contest? That's a movie.

Anyway, Cru tries to overcome obstacles, like Weston's company changing the rules to keep Cru out, but he gets unexpected help. He also falls for Lori after spending the first act impressing some other girl. You can guess the rest. If only Jean Claude Van Dam could ride a bike.

The movie is typical of the sports-themed movies in the 1980's and it's not THAT bad. Still, if Casablanca isn't safe from Rifftrax, neither is this one. The gang riff a lot about Lori's legal problems and the 80's in general, especially the dancing and fashions. Cru also talked a lot about ass-sliding, which is basically sliding.
They were also impressed Ray Walston got more interesting when Cru gets in trouble with Weston's crew. Ray winds up putting new meaning in the term "talk to the hand". Spicoli would have been stunned. 

What was more surprising that Bill Allen, the star of the movie, was in the Nashville audience. He, unlike Joe Don Baker, could take it. He also had a minor career aside from this movie. In fact, this trivia page from IMDB has some very interesting tidbits about the film.

Before the movie, fans endured two Gumby shorts. They were about a witch who kidnaps them for a very strange reason, and a hidden valley with dinosaurs who are hoping there's a fourth Jurassic World movie. 

OK, riff time:

Cru is in full training costume, including a mask that isn't quite right for fencing
Jason Voorhees' dorkier brother

Lori Loughlin in the credits
She shivved me at the prison shower.

Cru's mom brings in the groceries, played by Talia Shire
(mumbling bitterly) I was in The Godfather

Best way to describe the bike dance Cru and Lori have
Breaking Away and Saturday Night Fever got together, nine months later this movie came out. 

Then they kiss
Kissing, it's like ass-sliding with your mouth

Bart,  the hot-shot BMX biker, tries to look cool
Yeah, my haircut's really terrible.

Lori:  I thought you were a man
Mike:  No, you didn't

There's also riffs on Tilda Swinton, Footloose, Chicago Bears, Happy Days and Tik Tok.

The pre-show slides (with the usual comedy music) were better than usual. One predicted a Hallmark Channel movie called Hack Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and that might work. Saving Christmas via stealing back money another company stole? OK!

The VOD should be available in October or November. Get more riffs at rifftrax.com

The Mads Re-Accuse A MST3K Favorite

 

Every once in a while, The Original Mads (Trace Beaulieu and TV's Frank Conniff) revisit an old experiment from the MST3K days. In each case, the second look is always different. Manos was in 4K, and still looked a little dingy. The Brain That Wouldn't Die didn't have the mad scientist search for a new body and target a stripper. Teenagers from Outer Space had the original open, where someone sees something from a telescope. This is before the alien teens land to turn Earth into a Golden Corral for Gargens.

Just recently, the show took a second look of I Accuse My Parents. This is about a dumb teen named Jimmy with neglective parents. He meets a singer named Kitty at a shoe store and somehow lands into a life of crime thanks to her jealous boyfriend. He runs away and tries to rob a diner. Instead, the owner gives Jimmy a job. Since this is a dumb B movie from nearly 80 years ago, Jimmy gets a happy ending instead of ten to twenty in the hole. 

While the original version from 1993 emphasized how dumb the kid was, despite winning an essay contest, the new version was loaded with jokes about current events. It was like a typical late night TV monologue people can't have anymore because of the GREEDY SONS OF....anyway....
That being said, this version removed two songs from Kitty but added details about why she can't be with Jimmy. The variety of riffs was also impressive, including one about a movie some may have forgotten.

OK, let's compare:

Jimmy is about to accuse his parents, but he wants to admit:

Mads:  I like Barbie more than Oppenheimer
MST:  I'm Esther Rolle

Jimmy goes home:

Mads: It's the set of Really Drunk History
MST:  Mom's invited Joe E. Lewis again

Jimmy kisses Kitty:

MST:  This is one successful shoe salesman.
Mads:  I have to admit this Hunter Biden video is very disturbing

"Are you happy in your work?"
Mads:  Do you sing like Captain Kirk?

Kitty breaks up with Jimmy to "save" him 
"But you'll always be a shoe salesman at 25 a week"
MST:  18 after taxes
Mads:  That's better money than writing for a streaming show. 

Jimmy finally winds up his story

MST:  Maybe they should have sworn him in
Mads:  My point is, I'm white, so the justice system must favor me. 

There's other riffs on Trump, Star Trek thinking a musical episode was a good idea, Walter Brennan, William Burroughs and Shakespeare.
It should be interesting if anyone tries to merge both versions and get the complete movie, even if the riffers get mixed up. 
It's available now at the Dumb Industries website, along with other episodes of The Mads Are Back. Each episode is $11.99, but some are available at a discount.

Welcoming Wrexham in San Diego

 

So what is a fourth-division soccer club from Wales doing in San Diego, and taking the town by storm?
Well, it's the power of a good story...and Emmy-nominated TV.

This blog is about Wrexham playing the under-21 Manchester United squad at Snapdragon Stadium in Mission Valley. While Comic-Con was fun, even with 85% movie-hyping panels thanks to labor strife, this was the OTHER reason why I'm spending a week in San Diego. I filled in some time with a trip to Petco Park which turned out great (free baseball hit during batting practice, but $400 for a jersey? Please.). 

The team's staying at a Marriott near the stadium, and they are enjoying themselves. They'll also take in a baseball game before they wrap up the tour in Philadelphia. For now, they hope to do better than they did against Chelsea.

This is manager Phil Parkinson, who led the team to success in the National League and hopes to do the same in League Two. He's pleased as anyone people have embraced Wrexham, mainly thanks to the FX TV show and the owners, Ron McElhenny and Ryan Reynolds (Ron's in town while Ryan is doing acting stuff overseas...which is OK for now). 

He says the tour has been fun, and the team's stunned by the response. "The positivities is incredible in the way the success of the football club, the profile of the club is raised," he said, "spirits in Wrexham has been greated to be part of that, and long may it continue."

While some soccer reporters think the Red Dragons may win League Two thanks to the 111-point success the year before, he says the team still needs a few players to make it happen. Besides, Notts County almost did what Wrexham had done. He does admit the documentary and the interest it created in Wrexham (famous owners aside) caught him by surprise. Still, what's happened to this Welsh team just south of Liverpool has been a great story. 

It's also led to the team dealing with the new fame, but also staying focused. "The players in particular," he said, "have separated anything they've had to do they've had to do extra commercially with the nitty gritty of playing football in training or in a match day. We always speak to the lads about that. We are constantly in meetings we're mentioning that. We represent Wrexham, a working class town. When you put on a Wrexham shirt, I feel that lads have kept very grounded."

Then comes the game:

This is a very nice field located a few train stops away from a couple of shopping centers. Here's where I got to see it...

Thing is, it was sold as part of the Manchester United tour. The place was flooded with United fans, but there were SOME with Wrexham gear. I'm one of the baggier ones:

There should have been swag from both teams, to be certain. Ryan was in England, but Rob was there for the 3-1 win over those Premier League guys. It was quite the improvement from being clobbered by Chelsea. I think FX should have had a bigger presence within the stadium to plug the new season. Wound up missing out on the Welsh Rarebit.

Still, I managed to get one good picture from the game, which was Wrexham's first goal. 

Another thing that struck me is that MTS light rail got a workout transporting people to the game. Two trains were filled to the brim, maybe a third. It will also get big crowds when concerts, women's soccer and football happen, but it was quite the experience being a sardine.
(By the way, more picture are here.)

It was a great trip, experiencing some good European soccer in San Diego. The World Cup is three years away in the US, and I am still not sure if I can get to SoFi in L-A or Levi's Stadium. I may have to choose between this and Comic-Con. Since I'll be 67, though, maybe I could sit out something that happens more often than a World Cup. I know I can't go during a certain online sale.

So, back to the salt mine...until I try to go to a homecoming like no other.

Finally, a Superhero Makes It Big In Sports

 He did it.

Ryan Reynolds, the black sheep of the MCU (in a good way), lead Wrexham out of the National League (or fifth-tier soccer) and in the Football League Two for the first time since 2008.
Just one question:  when will season two of Welcome to Wrexham start on FX? At least we know they'll play two games in the states in July (and I get to see one of them). 

So, a tribute..