The Mads Re-Accuse A MST3K Favorite

 

Every once in a while, The Original Mads (Trace Beaulieu and TV's Frank Conniff) revisit an old experiment from the MST3K days. In each case, the second look is always different. Manos was in 4K, and still looked a little dingy. The Brain That Wouldn't Die didn't have the mad scientist search for a new body and target a stripper. Teenagers from Outer Space had the original open, where someone sees something from a telescope. This is before the alien teens land to turn Earth into a Golden Corral for Gargens.

Just recently, the show took a second look of I Accuse My Parents. This is about a dumb teen named Jimmy with neglective parents. He meets a singer named Kitty at a shoe store and somehow lands into a life of crime thanks to her jealous boyfriend. He runs away and tries to rob a diner. Instead, the owner gives Jimmy a job. Since this is a dumb B movie from nearly 80 years ago, Jimmy gets a happy ending instead of ten to twenty in the hole. 

While the original version from 1993 emphasized how dumb the kid was, despite winning an essay contest, the new version was loaded with jokes about current events. It was like a typical late night TV monologue people can't have anymore because of the GREEDY SONS OF....anyway....
That being said, this version removed two songs from Kitty but added details about why she can't be with Jimmy. The variety of riffs was also impressive, including one about a movie some may have forgotten.

OK, let's compare:

Jimmy is about to accuse his parents, but he wants to admit:

Mads:  I like Barbie more than Oppenheimer
MST:  I'm Esther Rolle

Jimmy goes home:

Mads: It's the set of Really Drunk History
MST:  Mom's invited Joe E. Lewis again

Jimmy kisses Kitty:

MST:  This is one successful shoe salesman.
Mads:  I have to admit this Hunter Biden video is very disturbing

"Are you happy in your work?"
Mads:  Do you sing like Captain Kirk?

Kitty breaks up with Jimmy to "save" him 
"But you'll always be a shoe salesman at 25 a week"
MST:  18 after taxes
Mads:  That's better money than writing for a streaming show. 

Jimmy finally winds up his story

MST:  Maybe they should have sworn him in
Mads:  My point is, I'm white, so the justice system must favor me. 

There's other riffs on Trump, Star Trek thinking a musical episode was a good idea, Walter Brennan, William Burroughs and Shakespeare.
It should be interesting if anyone tries to merge both versions and get the complete movie, even if the riffers get mixed up. 
It's available now at the Dumb Industries website, along with other episodes of The Mads Are Back. Each episode is $11.99, but some are available at a discount.

It's The Rifftrax League Vs. Batman and Superman

It wasn't too long ago that the Rifftrax trio of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett would riff for hours against bad movies. They did their best against James Cameron extra-long blockbusters like Titanic and Avatar.

However, they're not the marathon riffers they used to be. That's why they recruited a lot of help when they decided to take on Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. The crew included Mike's wife Bridget, former adversaries Mary Jo Pehl, Trace Beaulieu and Frank Coniff, Sketchfest bigwigs Janey Varney and Cole Stratton, Brit riffers Ian Potter and Matthew J. Elliott, and writers Conor Lawstoka and Sean Thomason.
Or it could be the movie has too much bad for three guys to handle.

Doesn't matter, because this was one of the best riffs in years. It's also a change of pace from battling the latest Star Wars movies.
The plot, of course, is Batman and Superman having some disagreement on how to deal with the bad guys, while Earth seems to be scared of having a Man of Steel around. Add Lex Luthor as the Joker exploiting the situation, and a woman who saves the movie while the guys wonder what just happened, and you have this movie.

Each "team" takes a chunk of the movie and riffs away. Each has its own style, but Conor and Sean are just hilarious in their first movie. Unleashing them on Justice League or any B movie would be a good idea.
Also, Trace and Frank's chunk is almost like their podcast show, only with video. They're the "lucky" guys who see Batman ask Superman why he said he has to save Martha (which turns out to be the dumbest turning point in any comic book movie ever). Frank even wonders why Rifftrax hates him and Trace. Uh, you guys exposed Mike to Coleman Francis, for starters.

Anyway, let's look at the best riffs from each of the teams:
First, the Rifftrax trio's first turn

Young Bruce Wayne runs from a funeral
This must be where he's bitten by a radioactive bat

A woman says Superman caused a major disaster..."So many dead"
Santa Claus. We never should have let him down the chimney

Then Sean and Conor:

Bruce visits his parents' crypt
This is where they keep all the footage from that Nicholas Cage Superman movie

Cole and Janet:

Lex, Clark and Bruce attempt to banter
It's like if the Marx Brothers were awful

Bruce and Diana meet and talk about what he placed at Luthor's party
What's the opposite of chemistry because that's what these two have.

Matt and Ian:

Mrs.Kent to Superman:  People hate what they don't understand
Like the new Twin Peaks

They comment on how Bruce is training with tires
You can get tires delivered through Amazon Prime
I thought Wonder Woman was Amazon Prime

Bridget and Mary Jo:

Clark talks to the ghost of his dad, especially how saving his family farm seriously destroyed another nearby
Clark to Dad: Did the nightmares ever stop?
Robin Hood haunted me for years.

Lex pushes Lois Lane off a tall building. Superman saves her
I was expecting Christopher Reeve

Diana looks through the download she got from Bruce
She's googling Lynda Carter

Trace and Frank:

Batman tries to shoot Superman
Where does he get all those meaningless toys?

Then the Martha scene, where Batman yells "Why did you say that name?"
It begins with bad screen writing

Finally, the RT guys finish it off:

Superman's death scene:
I'm dying but at least I'll never have to meet Aquaman.

There's also riffs on lots of  subjects including Charlie Rose, Golden Corral (again), Steve Mnuchin, Bob's Big Boy, Casablanca, Joss Whedon, Trivago and Steve Bannon.

Actually, having a riffing "relay race" gives all the riffers a chance to shine. Maybe they can do this again when Last Jedi is likely to be released on home video next spring.
The mp3 riff of Batman v Superman is now available at the website

Surf's...uh Shorts Up As Rifftrax Live Does Summer

It wasn't exactly a Catalina Caper, but Rifftrax Live had some fun under the sun (or at least indoors) by riffing on a new set of shorts this past week in Nashville, TN,

It wasn't quite as star-studded as last June's reunion, but at least the original Mads (Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff) came. Also Paul F. Tompkins showed up as the ultimate Boatnik and the Real Housewives of Rifftrax, Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl (with really short hair), also made it.
As far as the subject matter, the shorts attempt to educate, but in weird ways. "Sentinels for Security", for example, starts with the Armed Forces, a cop and a fireman outside a house, hoping to protect the homeowner from himself. That's followed by people hurting themselves and blowing up their homes.

Then there's "Ricky Raccoon Shows The Day", where a family who just bought a house learns a really big bear-like raccoon is included.

He then gives lessons in traffic safety that even make mom and dad dance. Sometimes he pops in and out in strange places. The Rifftraxers can only say "This new It movie is terrifying".
For the record, I'll choose one riff from each of the shorts.

Anyway, the Mads look at Office Etiquette, where a young girl has her first office job. A lot of their comments were at how the job could be a drudge, but were stunned to see a female worker snacking while working: "What is this job doing to you? That's an eraser."

Then came the short of the night: "Rhythmic Ball Skills". It features kids dropping and catching balls sitting, standing, spinning and even under the leg. It's the exercise version of Setting Up A Room.

Or, as Bill put it, "After this, Michelle Obama came out in favor of childhood obesity." At least "Perc! Pop! Sprinkle!" was about something and had better music.

Mary Jo and Bridget took on "The Griper", one of those Centron shorts that Josh Way usually mocks. It's about a conscience who complains about a teen who really complains. Of course, he learned it from his family. It's rather odd this grumpy teen literally affects everything in his high school, or a literal Girl Next Door tries to set him straight. The girls have some bright and snarky comments about the teen, especially when he ruins English class by preventing everyone from acting out scenes from Hedwig and the Angry Inch (according to them).

That was followed by "A Touch of Magic" that features the return of Nuveena and the Weird Masked Guy from "Design for Dreaming." Of course, it's a General Motors short plugging their new cars for 1961. The cars move forward on a carpet of white balloons, or as Paul puts it, "Time to take out our shown enemy, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.". The couple also have a housewarming party with invisible guests, and load the Frigidaire dishwasher by throwing dishes at it. Weird,

The final short, "The Baggs," was the strangest of all.

It's what would happen if Santa Claus turned into a junk collector, and he picks up two burlap bags that come to life, run around, and finally rows away into the sunset. Best riff: "The two dancers inside the bag are nude, and one of them is Lena Dunham." If you listen real close, they seem to diss a show that ran for nine seasons but later found its way to Netflix. Sound familiar?

There was also a clip reel of the best moments from all 300+ shorts. Naturally shorts like "Shake Hands With Danger" and "Mr. B Natural" were included, along with Norman Krasner's Living Hell. Too bad they left out "Live and Learn", "Drugs Are Like That" and "Measuring Man", but they should be seen to be believed.

It was a fine evening of weird shorts, and a nice set-up to the big summer event, "The Five Doctors", coming in August. So far, we know from Nerdist the old Cybermen costumes were Jiffy Pop with legs. That might be considered "mercy".

TV's Frank: The Man and His Movies In New Book

For five years and 109 episodes, TV's Frank Conniff was the loyal lackey on Mystery Science Theater 3000 to insane scientist Clayton Forrester:  the punching bag, the guinea pig, the eternal victim to Forrester's delusional plans to take over the world so his mother will finally love him (which was equally delusional)
Yet, when Frank was taken away by Torgo the White (or maybe Magic Jack Perkins in disguise), Dr. F was totally lost without him. The movie version is proof of that.

That's how important Frank was. He went on to write for a teenage witch and riff more movies through Cinematic Titanic. He's now got a podcast with fellow Mad Trace Beaulieu, and also was in the MST3K Reunion show that will be Rifftrax's biggest seller when it's available in two weeks.

So, what could be left...except write a book?

Twenty Five Mystery Science Theater 3000 Films That Changed My Life In No Way Whatsoever is a very long title for a short book, but he goes into detail about his life on MST3K, gets in some comments about politics like he does on Twitter, and tries to remember movies he may or may not have seen as a kid.
And sometimes he talks about the movies he had to see before they were accepted as experiments for the show. Of course, he recalls how Sidehackers forced the staff to see all of the movie rather than first first half hour. However, he also wonders if Catalina Caper would have been a better beach movie if there was more Little Richard. He compares Gilligan's Island to Vietnam while trying to discuss The Beatniks, and thinks Attack of the the Eye Creatures should be on trial (and not just because of those pervy Army guys).

He also makes a good argument about how we should praise Ed Wood for his movies, not to bury him, only because he tried to make movies (and unlike that Eye Creatures movie, he really did care).
However, he also apologizes (again) for exposing the world to Manos, the Hands of Fate, and suspects that maybe George W. Bush was the closest thing we had to President Torgo.

After each chapter, there's a special note from the Federal Bureau of Incoherence which explains some of the references to those too young or old to remember them. That even includes explaining a long-forgotten Disney musical about a family who has their own band, and their last name is NOT Partridge. Clearly, we need such an organization to explain other references to people who may not understand...especially with the current presidential election.

It's interesting that the list of movies Frank chose are almost all episodes during the Joel Hodgson era. The exceptions are The Brain That Wouldn't Die and Red Zone Cuba. Naturally, Frank doesn't talk too much about the movies, but he wonders why The Beast With Two Heads didn't get riffed by MST3K..or why the Oscars didn't even nominate it for anything,  It's too bad he didn't get deeper in his final season, especially his last episode, Samson vs. the Vampire Women.

This isn't the first time Frank has tried to write essays on MST3K movies. In the Episode Guide, he looked at several movies including Time of the Apes, which was also examined in this book. In the Episode Guide, he talked about the "time code" incident where the movie seemed to have more endings than the last Lord of the Rings movie. In his book, he talked more about how funny talking animals are on TV and the movies, and how Ronald Reagan may have wound up doing that if he didn't go into politics. Apparently the trauma from the "time code incident"is still too painful. The "TV's Frank Pix" columns are very funny and are worth looking for.

Til then, this book is a great look inside TV's Frank from his career on MST3K to his views on movies, politics and everything else. If only there was a fake autobiography by Clayton Forrester on how he ruled the world after he ruined everyone's self-worth through bad movies. Of course, he would write it the day before the first experiment back in 1988, and none of it happened, but it would be a great read.
Your move, Mr. Beaulieu.

MST3K's OTHER New Network

We all know the new version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is coming to Netflix next year, but some fans may not be aware it will also join another network in a couple of weeks.

Comet TV, a sci-fi channel owned by Sinclair Broadcasting, has been around since last Halloween. It's been best known for showing cheesy sci-fi movies like Troll 2, The Raven, In the Year 2889 and Terrordactyl, along with Stargate SG-1, Johnny Sokko and both versions of The Outer Limits. Now, it's announced it will air Mystery Science Theater 3000 every Sunday starting September 4th, It already has its own section to the website which includes a complete episode guide. Does this mean all episodes will be airing on Comet?

Well, we do know that when it starts on the 4th, Comet will have Manos and Teenagers From Outer Space. (Update: it will air Attack of the Giant Leeches and Wild, Wild World of Batwoman on the 11th.) It's expected to have two episodes every Sunday night.
Thing is, Comet has NO press release on which episodes it will be airing, When Retro TV started airing MST3K a couple of years ago, it provided a list of episodes it would air. It's added another 26 this year, but didn't reveal which ones ahead of time. The ones that arrived were pleasant surprises, including Killer Shrews, The Beatniks, Swamp Diamonds, Hercules Unchained and Bloodlust.

If Comet is airing MST, will that mean Retro will let the Satellite of Love go? I have tried everything from social media to e-mails, but it's not saying anything. As of now, it's still on the schedule, and Retro could air Manos the day before Comet does.

I also sent an e-mail to Comet about its plans for MST3K. It says it answers every e-mail, and I am hoping that includes mine.

Fortunately, I have heard from fellow MSTies who have said Retro is keeping the show, and it looks like Retro and Comet will have two sets of MST3K episodes to show. So far, though, both packages seem to overlap. If Comet wants to stand out, it should promote episodes Shout Factory doesn't have. Imagine the excitement of showing Amazing Colossal Man, Rocketship X-M, Hellcats, Monster-A-Go-Go, or Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. Even some titles it does have, including Catalina Caper or Space Travelers, would also be great.
UPDATE:  Comet told me through Facebook it's airing "a season of its best episodes". That could mean the top 22 episodes out of the whole series, but no specifics on which episodes it will offer.

It's surprising that as recently as three years ago, the only place to see MST3K episodes is through DVDs and YouTube..and circulating the tapes. Now, two over-the-air digital channels are showing classic episodes, and Netflix will present the next generation
These are good days in the not-too-distant present.

Rifftrax and MST3K Unite For A Classic Night of Riffing

When Mystery Science Theater 3000 co-creator Joel Hodgson was interviewed by Vulture six years ago, he was asked if there was a possibility he might do something with his former riffing colleagues at Rifftrax. He said that "I think anything’s possible, but I thought it might get confusing to try to merge them together or do crossover projects. I would never rule it out because it’s all kind of the same universe," but he admitted Rifftrax was a different thing.
This past Tuesday at the State Theater in Minneapolis, though, Joel did get together with Rifftrax, along with the former Mads and the new MST3K host to create a very successful night of movie riffing.

It was a good mix of very funny shorts, and the riffing by the casts went smoothly just like it did in the Sketchfest in San Francisco. Joel was joined by Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Mary Jo Pehl, Bridget Nelson and Kevin Murphy from Rifftrax, Trace Beaulieu and TV's Frank Conniff (who now have their own movie riffing routine), and new MST3K host Jonah Ray.
The Rifftrax crew took one of its early shorts, Shake Hands With Danger, and The Talking Car, about a kid who is being judged on traffic safety by three cars..in a dream. While the crew at Incognito Cinema Warriors XP did a much better job with that short in the DVD, "Bloody Pit of Horror", the Rifftraxers were very funny, too. When the kid sees he's in a dream, Kevin says "Welcome to Antartica's first car show". There's also jokes on '70s cop shows, The Godfather and a certain complaint about the new Ghostbusters movie.
Then Mary Jo and Bridget did their take on "Word To The Wives", a short on how a housewife cons her husband into buying a newer home. The print for the show was actually pretty faded compared to the Rifftrax version, but most of the jokes were still there. I had reviewed this before in my blog on the emergence of the two gals as Rifftrax's Dymanic Duo.
Trace and Frank took on "More Dates For Kay", and they just KILLED here. They commented on how Kay, who looks really plain, got a lot of dates through good grooming and being really helpful. They were mostly puzzled how she got so popular.
Then, the past and the future got their chance, Jonah and Joel riffed on a short that praised barbers and beauticians. They especially noticed how one of the barbers looked like Frankenstein while a pedicurist might have been Annette Funicello. Jonah was very good in his riffs and worked well with Joel. Jonah will do just fine when he's shot into space. Just ask Frank,

Soon, everyone united to riff on a short called "Stamp Day For Superman." It was part Superman episode, part propaganda to get people to buy US Saving Stamps and Savings Bonds. It's really quaint seeing Lois Lane tied to a chair after getting tricked by a robber, but at least she came up with a way to get Superman to help her, The crew got in very funny riffs, especially on Rondo Hatton and someone who hates Spider-Man.

However, that wasn't the end. They did an encore with "At Your Fingertips: Grasses". The crew kept the original riffs but they still paid off even though they were being read by other people. The original version is part of the live Reefer Madness event.
It was a perfect way to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Rifftrax, and launch the new era of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I was hoping Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt would crash the place and let everyone know they were the new sheriffs in town. They might get their chance when Joel is expected to reveal more info on the new MST at Comic-Con in three weeks.

There were the usual jokes in the pre-show slides, including one that claims Minions are shaved Pikachus (but the Minion language isn't quite Japanese). It did include several MST3K songs including two version of the opening theme, A Patrick Swayze Christmas and the Let Me Be Frank About Frank (which was also dedicated to Frank Zappa). That was a nice touch.

The MST3K reunion show will likely be available to the general public sometime this fall. Rifftrax also revealed its next show will be Mothra on August 18th. It's a widescreen print of the story about how some tiny fairies from a mysterious island get kidnapped, and a really big moth gets angry and shoves some cars around in Tokyo.
One more thing: WUCW, which used to be KTMA (the original home for MST3K), was there for a press conference of the cast the day before the show. Here it is:



The reunion show will be repeated on July 12th. More info is available at rifftrax.com/live.

The Last Voyage of the Cinematic Titanic

At this theater in Glenside, PA, near Philadelphia, a handful of people will see the final voyage of the Cinematic Titanic. It'\ll be the last time where the original cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000, plus TV's Frank Conniff and former Mad Scientist mom Mary Jo Pehl will pummel bad cinema to the delight of others. They'll end their six-year run with a double feature: The Wasp Woman (pure, uncut Corman) and The Doll Squad (so cheesy a cable channel aired it...on purpose). By the way, I want to thank Tony Goggin for letting me use this photo.

It's hard to believe that six years ago we saw the first movie, The Oozing Skull, and we wondered if the MST3K alumni still had that way of mocking bad acting, writing, special effects and even editing. When it was first available, it had a modest DVD disc:

After about five minutes, we all thought, "Cool. Nailed It, We're back". Still, when Joel re-used an old riff about "The Mod Squad", and said he was old, we understood. The important thing was, the spirit of MST3K was revived through Cinematic Titanic. It was like the old days: a bunch of people trapped by nearly-evil forces, required to mock bad movies for some vague reason, then put away the results in a time tube. It's not exactly like being trapped in space, but it was the next best thing. It's too bad that when they switched to making DVDs of live shows, they didn't include an escape attempt in one of the DVDs.

The choice of the Keswick was also interesting, but I would have thought the last show could have been in the Uptown in Minneapolis, where a convention included a live riffing of "This Island Earth". Still, the CT tour has toured in an arena, classic theaters, and even New York City.

The fun of mocking movies continues through Rifftrax, which got into full gear a year earlier than CT, and Incognito Cinema Warriors XP, which started in 2008 and continues to do "host segments" more complex than MST ever did. Not bad, since it started as "something to sell on MySpace".
Heck, if you get the blu-ray version of The Heat, you get a commentary track of Joel, Trace and Josh, er, J. Elvis mocking Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy from start to finish. Sure, Trace and J. Elvis used to work for the director, but... (Note, I reviewed this, and it somehow became popular).

I actually met Joel, Trace, J. Elvis and Frank at a convention in San Jose in 2008 shortly after the first CT episode:

I thought this was a great moment, because I finally got J. Elvis' autograph, and got to meet my cable TV heroes. After all, when would I ever meet them again?

Well, it would be a lot sooner than I thought:

This was their first live visit to San Francisco, when they riffed on East Meets Watts (although back then they called it The Dynamite Brothers), and created the "Spit Take Heard Round the World" that's on the live version. I still have the ticket stub

Now, some of us get in the habit of riffing, even on good movies. I do that while I watch something like Frozen, American Hustle or even a movie that everyone but me has seen, like any Harry Potter movie.

Also, I try to "improve" on the riffing of others. My Rifftrax copy of that over-discoed-in-a-new-wave-world musical, The Apple, has great commentary, but I try to add to it. In the "Show Business" number, I wondered why Mike Nelson never noticed the whole routine was similiar to how Baz Luhrmann would have staged a Super Bowl halftime show. Also, in "Cry for Me," when Alfie does his big song outside his apartment window, I find myself singing, "I'm mad at Hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore".
If I watch it again, maybe I could come up with a riff for Catherine Mary Stewart, who was the female lead who went on to Night of the Comet. That's not quite as surprising as the cast including a soap opera star (Finola Hughes) and a guy who helped create two reality shows (Nigel Lythgoe).
Yes, that's how I sometimes see movies, unless it's Gravity. That movie is riff-proof.
Note: the comment about Gravity is no longer true.

At least I was there for the final San Francisco show at the Castro. It's too bad the sound was terrible for the first half, The Doll Squad. After seeing it on TCM a few weeks ago, it's just as well, but I just couldn't come up with any good riffs.
That's why I am hoping that we'll get one last CT DVD of Doll Squad, Astral Factor or even Samson and the Seven Miracles. Just one more for the road, guys.

So, the final Cinematic Titanic show may lead to tears, laughs, and maybe a two-hour chant by the crowd, begging "Please Don't Go". Yet, it has to end, since the cast have new lives all over the country. Besides, Rifftrax and ICWXP will pick up the slack in their own way.
As long as there's an actor taking a role he doesn't have a clue to do convincingly (hello Johnny Depp), they'll be there. As long as there's cheesy, high-priced sci-fi and bad book adaptations, they'll be there. As long as Adam Sandler, Michael Bay, Tara Reid and James Franco are employed, they'll be there.

Besides, if the Eagles, Frank Sinatra, Cher and Brett Favre unretired, maybe the Cinematic Titanic will sail again in the seas of Video On Demand, Netflix and DVDs. We can only hope.

For now, Godspeed, Cinematic Titanic!