Rifftrax: Welcome To Dennis Quaid's Nightmare

Aside from creating the San Francisco Sketchfest event that makes some room for severe movie criticism, Cole Stratton and Janet Varney have been part of Rifftrax in its early years. Their first target was The Lost Boys in 2010, followed by Jaws 3-D and Flatliners.

They returned recently for their first VOD title, Dreamscape, with Dennis Quaid as a psychic being "persuaded" to be part of an experiment in dream manipulation. Of course, there's a dark side to this project as it slowly morphs into an attempt to kill the President in his dreams. While critics liked this movie back in 1984, it looks a lot cheesier after all these years.

It features Christopher Plummer in one of his "evil in a suit" roles that he had during the 80's (remember Firehead?), Max Von Sydow as the head of the project, Eddie Albert as the president who dreams of nuclear explosions. and Kate Capshaw as the dream scientist/mandatory love interest just after people blamed her for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Oh, and there's George Wendt (NORM!) as an author who thinks Plummer is up to no good.

What's interesting about how Cole and Janet take on this movie is that they pack a ton of movie and music references in less than two hours. They especially make remarks about Quaid's movie career and even throw in a riff about an Alec Baldwin movie everyone has forgotten about...even Alec. TV's Frank would be so proud.

The plot:  Quaid plays Alex, a psychic who uses his powers to pick longshots at the race track. He's not a favorite with the bookies, Anyway, Von Sydow's character wants Alex to be part of the dream manipulation program, or Alex may see some tax problems thanks to his winnings. Alex leaps into the dreams of a construction worker, a guy who's convinced his wife will cheat on him, and a kid named Buddy who's being attacked by a snake man. He even gets into Capshaw's dream where she's riding in a train. It leads to a lame sex scene that will remind no one of his sex scenes with Ellen Barkin in The Big Easy two years later.

Plummer plays Blair, a CIA type who is worried the President will agree to nuclear disarmament because of his nightmares. Blair wants America to be secure with all the nuclear bombs it wants. He also wants to find a way to kill enemies by sending assassins into their dreams. Sure, sounds dumb, but at least he has a psycho psychic who can do the job. It helps that he's played by the same guy who said "Warriors, come out and play".

Now some of the riffs:

A woman tries to outrun a nuclear explosion...in a dream
Cole:  Run, Mia Farrow, run!

Buddy has a nightmare
Janet:  Happy Meal....has no toy!!

The President has one of his nightmares
Cole: Phoenix in the summer is just awful

Jane (Capshaw) is upset Alex isn't predicting flash cards as he should
"Why can't you take this more seriously?"
Cole:  Is she talking to us right now?

And the perfect description of Alex and Jane making out on the dream train?
Janet:  All the chemistry of Teri Hatcher and Howie Long from those Radio Shack
commercials. 

There's also riffs on REM, a defunct department store, Atari, Ghostbusters, Snowpiercer, Animal House and Saturday Night Live. Also, if you listen carefully as Alex tries to get away on a motorcycle from Blair's goons, you'll get a really obscure reference that only true TV comedy fans will understand.

The movie is available at Rifftrax's website.

Rifftrax: Hidden Shame of Two Oscar Winners

It's been a while since I bought this Rifftrax VOD feature Firehead, and it's about time to give this movie the significance it deserves:  a lousy movie from 1991 which includes two actors who defied the odds and got Academy Awards.

One of them, of course, is not Chris Lemmon, who's known for being in a Fox sitcom and inspiring the "eight of Chris Lemmon" in two MST3K episodes. This movie also shows he's no Bruce Willis, no matter how hard this movie allegedly tries. He apparently is the friend of Ivan, an Estonian cyborg who refuses to kill his own people when they're protesting ("Be like The Internship movie and bomb!"). Lemmon's with the NIH, and works for some evil rich guy (Christopher Plummer) for some reason. A girl named Mila, who's in "Special Ops" is also brought in as the "love interest", weapons expert, and the unlucky soul who sings the theme song during the closing credits...or is it why she's in the movie at all?

There's also some annoying young girl who knows way too much about science and grand theft auto who has to bail Lemmon out of certain situations. That may be appropriate for sitcoms, but not action movies.

Martin Landau is also part of this movie as a retired military man who warns Lemmon that Vaughn is really part of a shadow group described as a "old-boy clique of perverts". Ivan, meanwhile, explains in "Canadian Chekhov" that he's just getting rid of certain weapons to stop Plummer's evil plans, including killing the President. There's also a scene where Vaughn meets with the Attorney General just after he, uh, does his business against a tree (we hope). When Landau is eventually eliminated, his final words are the best in the whole movie, and may describe everyone who approved it.
There's also an annoying song about Chris Lemmon trying to investigate something while wearing his Yankees hat and pleated pants. It's an indictment about the scene and soundtrack more than anything else.

As for the Rifftrax crew, the riffing is pretty good, but not quite as good as in "Bermuda Triangle". The riffs are pretty fresh, calling the film "Die Hard on a budget", while also getting in digs on Duck Dynasty, The Simpsons, Patton Oswald, Arrested Development, the term "Lemon Party" (look it up on Google, but please not at work), Modern Family, the Terminator movies, Secret Squirrel, and Joe Biden.

I still haven't seen The Apple yet, but that will be done before the big Rifftrax Live event next week.