Behold the Ultimate Christmas Gift of 2012...
To think, two weeks ago it would be just something to buy so that you'd have something in your kid's lunchbox for school.
Looking at eBay, it looks like people are buying multiple boxes of ten count Twinkies, rather than the one 24 count box I bought. In any case, prices vary, depending on what people will spend for Twinkies. I think someone bought five 10-Twinkie boxes for 187 bucks, while another five box lot went for 475 dollars. Some guy thinks that in 30 days, someone will spend ten thousand bucks to get ten Twinkies. Well, I say in 30 days another company will buy the rights to make them.
America without Twinkies? Really?
That makes as much sense as dropping A-bombs on Ford, Chrysler and General Motors. It's like selling Hershey's Chocolate to China, or banning mint juleps at the Kentucky Derby.
There are things that are so much a part of our country that someone will make sure they still exist. Twinkies fits that bill. No way we'll be switching to over-priced gourmet cupcakes, man, We want the cupcakes with the swirl on top. We want King Ding-Dong, and Twinkie the Kid.
People wanting to get as many Twinkies, Ho-Hos and such may be doing this because it's a part of their childhood they just can't give up. No matter how old a person is, they want that Twinkie because it's a childhood memory they can always have.
Not only that, state fairs, including Cal Expo, may panic over the idea of a world without Twinkies. A church raises cash every year from a fried Twinkies stand at the Western Montana Fair. No Twinkies? That's bad news.
Same thing at a casino in Las Vegas. It relies on fried Twinkies to keep gamblers happy. Fried Oreos or fried Snickers are one thing, but fried Twinkies are what the people really want.
Until Sara Lee, Little Debbie's or even Bimbo's of Mexico takes over the Hostess line, expect people to rely on a ten-count box of Twinkies to be the top choice for a Christmas gift. It's a classic example of the cost not being important, but the thought that really counts.
For the record, I also got one box each of Ding-Dongs and Zingers (which used to he a Dolly Madison product). They'll go first
Update: ah, but wait...what about Canada? Can you get Twinkies up there, too?
Actually, you can. A company called Saputo has the rights to make Hostess snack cakes, but Twinkies are not included. One of its companies, Vachon, does make them. This article confirms that Americans can head north rather than resort to eBay. A site called Canada Only is also a possibility, although the item was "temporarily discontinued" in late August. It may be available now, and at less than six bucks without postage, it's a reasonably priced last resort.
Again, within six months, I am convinced Twinkies will be back. They are America, and kind of forever in more ways than one.