Sunday, March 15, 2015

Snakes On A Boat: Rifftrax Presents Its Riff on Anaconda




Last year's Rifftrax Live events were notable because they included real movies, at least more real than Wonder Women or ROTOR. That's thanks to the Kickstarter campaign that raised 265 thousand dollars to make it possible. The crew of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett took on the 1997 version of Godzilla just a few months after last year's version, then Anaconda, where Jennifer Lopez battles a really disgusting snake...and an Anaconda, too.



I reviewed this when it was shown in theaters just before Halloween, but the mp3 was finally released to everyone over the weekend. The movie was notable because it included Lopez, rapper Ice Cube, Owen Wilson, Eric Stoltz and MTV hottie Kari Wuhrer. They're part of a documentary crew looking for a long-lost tribe in the Amazon when they come across a guy named Serone (Jon Voight) whose boat is disabled. He offers to help them find the tribe, but it's really part of a plan to look for really big anacondas. It's bad enough he looks like this for much of the movie:'



The CGI version of the snake is kind of strange, not as fancy as those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. It seemed to defy gravity, much less logic. But then, so does this movie.
Let's get to some of the riffs:

Ice Cube's character mentions "today's a good day", one of his bigger hits
AK's in the duffle bag

They come across some totems depicting snakes
They've carved a statue of Steven Tyler.

One of the smaller snakes bites the finger of Westridge, the narrator of the movie
This little piggy never made it to market.

Owen Wilson in the anaconda's stomach
Jonah's loser brother

They tie up Sarone
And now, Jon Voight in 50 Shades of Gristle

Lopez and Ice Cube are tied up, and her hair is really wet
J-Lo's new hairdo is called the Cousin Itt

The point when Serone winks at Lopez after the snake vomits him out:
A pick-up artist to the bitter end.

There's also riffs on movies Wilson and Ice Cube made, a movie role Stoltz still wishes he took, the Source Awards, The Room and Nick Nolte (now required in every movie riff), The African Queen and Richard Terry.

Meanwhile, this year's Rifftrax campaign called "The Crappening" has passed the $180 thousand mark, which means all supporters will get a free mp3 of a new riff on The Room. The campaign ends Saturday, which means it needs $20 thousand to get the final Harry Potter movie riffed, $45 thousand to get a second t-shirt made, and $70 thousand for backers who donate at least $75 to get Sharknado 2 for free. It's possible donations could explode towards the end, but if you'd like to give, please
click here. 

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