Mystery Science Theater 3000 is quite familiar with insane jerks out to take over the world, or at least our bank accounts (like the current version is doing).
Over the Labor Day weekend, Jonah and the bots endured Million Eyes of Sumaru. It's the first time the show repeated this number since 1988 in the KTMA days. That was brought up on the post-show, but more on that later.
She was created by the same guy who invented Fu Manchu. While he wants the world even if he had to burn it down, she wants a world where women rule and men may or may not exist. We're not sure.
What's certain is that the show's winning streak in its 13th season is still intact, with another great set of riffs. It's just as good as Rifftrax revisiting some MST targets (like Brain That Wouldn't Die recently).
Sumaru (supposedly) controls powerful men by having her slaves be their wives or mistresses, expecting them to practically own the men. One problem: a weird-looking President Boong isn't going along with this, and she decides to kill him.
So who's going to challenge her? Sadly, it's a secret agent called .00000007 and his young sidekick who's only in the movie to con people into watching it. They're also known as George Nader and Frankie Avalon.
It's basically the usual Eurotrash spy movie with the bad girls vowing to beat the good guys, terrible chase scenes, and an evil plan that never gets anywhere.
Sumaru captures Nader twice just to taunt him with her sure-fire "I will rule the world and make sure no one spray-paints me to death" plan. Nader's lousy quips that make dad jokes look like a John Mulaney set don't help. Mannequins generate more obscene thoughts than these two people. Then again, she wants sex without feeling and he's....able to deliver the "without feeling" part of it (look up his history on the Wiki).
To be honest, this is her real goal
At the Gizmoplex, Kabahl (Baron Vaughn) is trying to come up with more ways to boost the popularity of the show, like spinning off Waverly and Growler. Actually, not a bad idea, since Synthia's done that. It's also the first time he's actually touched Kinga and Max. So, he's not a hologram (maybe).
He's still a fake, because who'd believe MySpace would make a comeback?
As for the host segments, most were about the movie, especially this one where Jonah's more clueless than Nader.
The episode ends with Kinga singing the praises of Sumaru, but also mentioning real bad girls like Cruella and Hela. Well, as long as she never sees The Girl From Rio...
Meanwhile, Jonah and Emily continue their mutiny plans in rhyme, and Joel is also on board.
The post show was another winner with writers Felicia Day (finally), Tammy Golden, Devon Coleman and Tim Ryder. They revealed some more juicy tidbits. For one thing, there's not enough money in the world for Felicia to see Munchie again (or enough of something Loni Anderson has). Also, they cut the movies down to around an hour to establish 95 minutes including host segments. If you want the uncut version, it might be at Rifftrax depending on the movie.
Oh, and the Kinga number actually had special effects. That was due to a space suit shortage.
At least Devon described Sumaru perfectly: "if a middle school principal wrote Austin Powers."
Then again, Sumaru would be middle-school principal material.
Oh, and they compared this movie to the KTMA version. It revealed how terrible the print was, how the riffs were improvised, how young Joel was, and how people were able to keep up with the time and temperature during the movie.
OK, riff time, and in some spots we'll do all three versions:
Both MST and Rifftrax noted the slaves in waiting looked like auditions for Kill Bill
Sumaru celebrates killing people: "May they rest in peace"
MST: pieces
RT: slowest slow clap ever.
88: Jeannie C. Riley...The Harper Valley Death Squad
Sumaru's slaves kill a traitor who fell in love
MST: Pentacostals don't baptize this aggressively
RT: Baptize the Hell out of her
Avalon is at a restaurant while people dance.
MST: Hey, I know Annette Funicello. Are you impressed?
RT: Annette, stop doing the Twist and take the kill shot.
The scene where Avalon asks "I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to sing?"
MST: He's riffing himself
88: We'll make fun of the movie if you don't mind
RT: For anyone under the age of 60, that was a meta joke
Sumaru whips Nader, because she doesn't feel loved and feared enough
MST: If there are any kids watching, it's past all your bedtimes
RT: Could I get the thigh strangling treatment instead?
And this picture, which is the movie in a nutshell (the girl on the wall is dead while Nader pretends to be straight AGAIN)...
There were also comments on Twiggy, Mulan, Build-a-Bear Workshop, Venture Brothers and GrubHub.
The show's salute to spy movies will continue through September, including a tribute to Super Dragon on the 16th. It will end two weeks later with Shape of Things To Come, an alleged HG Wells adaptation. It includes some guy named Caball.
No, not like that other Kabahl, but it may hint this thing might come to a head before Turkey Day.
Oh, and the show will have a Halloween contest, and entries can be sent to mst3k.com/halloween.
For everything else, gizmoplex.com
