The Return of ICWXP: The Return of Rikk Wolf

Three years ago, heavy metal musician and MST3K fan Rikk Wolf decided, with a few friends, to make a little project where he was a zombie-fighting soldier trapped in a movie theatre with two weird looking robots. A mad scientist forces them to watch bad movies, mainly for fun. He admits it's cruel, and sounds vaguely familiar.
It was made into a DVD called Incognito Cinema Warriors XP, and it was sold on MySpace.
Little did he know that he would create an internet sensation, and something that MST fans have been craving for since the Satellite of Love went into TV history.

Now, after two years of weather disasters, technical difficulties, and depression that the Chiefs weren't what they used to be, Rikk is back with a new ICWXP movie. This time, Rikk, Johnny Cylon, Zed the Zombie Head and TopsyBot 5000 face new perils, including the most boring horror movie ever, and a new Big Bad.

Everything about it is new, starting with a live-action version of the old theme, complete with zombies who are looking for brains or a walk-on role in The Walking Dead. Rikk also recorded a new version of the theme, plus other scenes from episodes never shown including an homage to Dragon Ball.
After a sketch that mocks Starbucks, Rikk and the Bots see that Dr. Blackwood, their old nemesis, has been sent off. He's replaced by Special Agent Kincaid (Gregory Wyatt Tinnen), who is so evil he could clearly be Pearl Forrester's male clone. Anywho, he works for the Ludivico Corporation (who probably started this zombie apocalypse because it's so Resident Evil), and he decides to show bad movies more cruelly. He even has an evil smartphone that Pearl would envy.

We start with Ghost Rider, which isn't the Nicholas Cage movie, It's a safety film where a new kid learns about bus safety from a ghost. It's not bad, but it does drive Cylon to sing Jim Croce and TB5K to remark "The dead walk the earth and they want us to read bus safety pamphlets." It also ends with Topsy doing a killer Morgan Freeman.
Then the gang is startled by a famous Lucky Strike ad where cigarettes are square dancing. In fact, we got a lot of callbacks from the short and ad.

The main event: Werewolf in a Girls Dormitory, an 1961 Italian horror movie which is self-explanatory. After very sexy horror flicks like Lady Frankenstein and Bloody Pit of Horror (yes, even that Crimson Executioner guy), we get 87 minutes of droning talk between the characters about blackmail, gossip, funerals and zzzzzzzzzz, etc. We barely get three minutes of werewolf, and it's not even a good one. In fact, it's described as a "were-Michael C. Hall". We're supposed to wonder who the werewolf is: the Peter Lorre caretaker, the teacher who could be a young Frau Blucher, the handsome new teacher, an old guy who's having a near-affair with one of the students, his creepy wife, or maybe whoever came up with this movie. Rick and the gang have to muster all their strength to come up with some good riffs to keep from dozing off.

Some examples:

Opening titles show the "horror" of the monster: "It's the Satan Platypus!"
The new teacher shows up: "I think I'm going to live it here on Wicker Man Island."
Alfred goes home after talking to Mary, the student who's blackmailing him: "He's gonna lay low in Paul Lynde's house for a while."
The caretaker sneaks into the girls' bedroom: "Ben Roethlisberger, your wet dream is here."
When the real werewolf is revealed in a "plot swivel", he then attacks one of the students: "This makes me feel like a teen wolf again."

The host segments include Cylon and Topsy mocking Ghosthunters, with a surprise cameo, Topsy doing something so disturbing it excites Kincaid, and the worst surprise party ever. There's even a callback to the letters segment MST3K did way back when.
It's clearly a triumphant return to form for ICWXP. Sadly, it's also the last movie they're going to attack. They're switching to short subjects that could be even worse than any movie Nicholas Cage is in. But we're left wondering what is Kincaid's deal, where he got that evil smartphone, and whether Dr. Blackwood is gone.

Actually, we get a few clues in the extras: Rikk has a commentary on the host segments, and reveals a few tidbits on what's to come. He also includes a couple of music videos from his band At the Left Hand of God. There's a Q and A session with Rikk, Tinnen and Zach Legler (Cylon). They even answer a question I forgot I ever sent them. I do find out Rikk didn't start this show because he worked at an AMC theater. We also see how the bots were made, and a quick tour of the studio. It's more cramped than Best Brains in its early days, but it shows how damn good humor can spring from humble beginnings.

They have a new website at www.ICWXP.com, where you can get past DVDs, YouTube bits, including the new theme, links to Twitter and Facebook, apparel, and even a hint on what season one will be all about. I'm praying for Robo-Blackwood, personally, or maybe the zombies will make their own TV show about how they battle the hideous threat of the living, and call it The Walking Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnssssss.
Until then, pray for Rikk Wolf, Johnny Cylon, Zed and TopsyBot 5000..and for more adventures to come.
Maybe they can throw in their version of Alice from Resident Evil, or whoever Kate Beckinsale plays in Underworld, who helps them out because she is an even bigger MST3K fan.

New from Cinematic Titanic: "Danger on Tiki Island"

There seems to be a split on whether the Cinematic Titanic crew should stick to live shows, or go back to the traditional route where they have to riff on movies for future generations because of some electron scaffolding or other. For all we know, some ex-Gizmonic employees are trapping Joel and the gang because they feel threatened by a group who they think will destroy life as we know if....RIFFTRAX!!
I just dare them to come out and say that.

That being said, the latest live DVD, Danger on Tiki Island, is now available. Once again, this is from their Largo Theater performances in Los Angeles. We'll try to describe the plot while tossing out a few choice riffs from the show:

A handsome Peace Corps volunteer is joined by Dr. Henderson and her undersexed wife on a trip to a tropic isle. While the natives look at their new visitors ("Native #2, he's got an Igloo cooler"), the doc wants to examine how nearby atomic bomb testing has affected the area ("This guy's like Bob Goulet after a Grand Slam Breakfast"). She wishes the doc would examine her in fairly obscene ways, The Peace Corps guy just wants to help the natives.
Anyway, they soon find out the natives have reverted to primitive ways. They have a Shirley Jackson lottery to choose who will be sacrificed to the forest monster who is now their god ("Sigmund the Sea Monster, NOOOO!"). Peace Corps guy falls for one of the natives named Alla, and we see a mysterious rich guy called Estaban ("Juan Stamos?"), complete with mysterious accent. He lives in a mansion run by very small natives who care often compared to Oompa-Loompas.

There's plenty of walking scenes, with the only excitement coming from the trees who sometimes attack passers-by with their branches ("I'm sorry I forgot Arbor Day")...then turn back into normal trees suddenly. Once one of the trees get violent, the tribe decides more sacrifices, and this time Alla's chosen. Peace Corps guy objects, and he takes her away. He goes to Esteban's mansion, where the doc and horny wife are staying.

Later that night, the doc's wife is unable to arouse him ("Is he playing dead or playing gay?"). She tries to seduce Esteban while he's sleeping, but his manservant Goro interrupts her. She tries again the next night, but gets lost in the violent forest. She then meets the monster, who's basically a pickle mascot gone horribly wrong. Let's just say her wishes do come true but in a horrible way ("Oh, she's thinking about it").

The doc gets Peace Corps guy to help him find his wife, but Goro battles the doc in a terrible fight scene that's more like Tom DeLay's performance in Dancing With the Stars.
This, of course, leads to the final battle, and the slightly shocking truth about the monster. Joel, of course, gives the perfect description of this movie: Roger Corman's South Pacific.

There are flubs, especially from Frank, but having the CT crew riff live makes it more real. We wish these guys would be included in showings of lousy movies, with them giving their comments from the wings. Imagine what they could do to the Twilight movies or Jonah Hex....or 99.999999999999 percent of romantic movies. While we may have another studio DVD in the future, having these guys live would be great, too. The Rifftrax guys are already seeing how live shows can work, thanks to their special theater shows in the past year which are also available on DVD (especially the Christmas show from 2009).

The DVD also has interviews with the crew, who say nice things about each other, and why they're back in the movie riffing game. We learn TV's Frank is quite a show biz expert, and has an interesting fan base. Of course, we also hear from the fans who can't get enough of watching bad movies get humiliated...and we never will.

A couple of years ago, everyone from MST3K got together for a special panel on the show at Comic-Con. We should have it again. We could have a riffing rumble, but I'm not sure if the CT crew would be the Sharks or the Jets. Then again, we could have a rumble where the CT's are the Torgos and the Rifftrax guys be the Krankors or Brain Guys. Now THAT should be shown in theaters across the country.

Until then, the CT live tour continues with shows in Ann Arbor, San Francisco and Los Angeles..and even more stops well into next Spring. I think the next target is a Japanese movie called War of the Insects. At least Sandy Frank didn't give us this movie.