Stephen Colbert, American, ready to lead America to to a Brand New United States of American Late Night Television. He will use his understanding of American traditions and beliefs to protect the typical late night TV viewer from the evil influence of Fallon, Kimmel, Conan and that girl from E! who's quitting anyway because she can't survive Colbert's Supreme Manliness.
Never mind that fake American at 12:35. Today is a great day for America because Stephen Colbert, Uncle Steve, more American than that old Uncle Sam, will lead CBS and America to a new shining beacon on a hill, where America is America.
That will be a great day.....
.....that will never exist.
While being a Limbaugh/O'Reilly wanna-be is how Colbert became a key part of Comedy Central for many years, he's going to show his true self, and CBS and even David Letterman think it just might work. It's easy to imagine the real Colbert firing off jokes in Dave's style. He did say he'll have to add a gap in his front teeth, but that's not likely.
The real news is that the right wing pundits that Colbert pretends to embrace are finally on to him.
It may have been when he did that White House Correspondents Dinner in 2006, where he was the Colbert people see after Jon Stewart. It was supposed to be funny, but fewer people than expected got the joke. The rest thought what he said was what they believed all along.
Then came Bill O'Reilly finally telling everyone what he really thinks of Colbert. After Colbert spoofed O'Reilly's opinions on income equality, O'Reilly responded in his "Talking Points" Colbert is a "one of the biggest mouthpieces for the Progressive movement". He even said it was sort of Colbert's fault UConn students went wild after their school won the NCAA (not NAACP) basketball championship. It's all because of the grievance industry that tries to convince everyone that America is an unfair country, and Colbert is practically on the Board of Directors.
Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh (who isn't spoofed as much) is also horrified. He thinks it proves CBS is declaring war on the heartland. "No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional American values, conservatism. Now it's just wide out in the open", he said. "What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny, and a redefinition of what is comedy. They're blowing up the 11:30 format... they hired a partisan, so-called comedian, to run a comedy show."
What does Limbaugh expect, a daily version of Real Time With Bill Maher? If that's what he thinks, he must also think Jennifer Lawrence is a threat to America because of her Hunger Games movies. Colbert will do what Letterman does, and what he also does in his Comedy Central show, when he takes the new post.
Besides, Limbaugh and O'Reilly are aware Colbert teaches Sunday School, right? Are they going to demand which Bible he uses?
The fact is this is a changing of the guard, and late night TV is different than it used to be. It's not going to be Crossfire with Jimmy Kimmel (best known for proving people don't pay attention about Obamacare), The Fallon Factor, or even The Late Show Report With Stephen Colbert. It'll be a monologue, TV and movie stars and music most of the them, even with Colbert. We'll have the occasional politician, left or right, as we always did.
The only disappointment is that Conan O'Brien won't get a second chance at 11:35. Then again, he'll be taping a week of shows at Comic-Con next year for TBS. That's not bad, and it'll be the only time the Flaming C will be stealing the thunder from Marvel, DC and the Hunger Games.
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