Monday, September 1, 2014

Jerk-rassic Park: Review of Rifftrax vs. Dinosaurus

It's been a while since I bought a Rifftrax movie, but thanks to a Labor Day discount, and seeing a caveman in a dress in the above trailer, I just couldn't resist.

Dinosaurus, made in 1960, is about a construction crew on an island discovering two frozen dinosaurs in the bottom of the ocean. Since they're blocking the crew's efforts to deepen the harbor, they're taken to shore. Naturally, this turns out to be a wise decision for three seconds. Rain and lightning wake them up, along with a caveman for some reason. The cast also includes a strong-jawed guy named Bart, a typical love interest named Betty, an annoying kid who's described as someone who came from a Gamera movie, and an "island manager" named Hacker who looks like Torgo after he got cleaned up, acquired a French-ish accent, and turned into a douchebag. There's also comedy relief named Dumpy, and an Irish guy who's too much of a stereotype.

Steve McQueen was supposed to be Bart in this movie, but he was never asked. Good thing, or he'd never be in The Magnificent Seven.

The movie also relies on the kid's knowledge of dinosaurs based on cereal box tops, and the island manager's greed. Viewers may suspect the movie's ripping off Eegah, after the caveman carries off Betty and takes her to a mine. However, Eegah was made two years after this movie, and the guy who played the caveman was a slightly better comedian. Just note his difficulties with the 20th Century, and that he gets to be fast friends with the annoying kid.

The writers decide on a final showdown between Bart and the T-Rex by knocking off the villain, a dinosaur and the caveman in less than a minute. While Bart doesn't try to kill the dinosaur with a forklift, what he does use is even more lame. What's more, the movie suggests a sequel. As if. (However, if Dinosaurus 2 reveals the caveman was OK...)

The trailer has the best lines, but here's a few more:

One of the natives mentions how the construction workers will deepen the harbor and lead to "much happiness"

Kevin Murphy:  It's like a live action Speedy Gonzales cartoon, without Speedy.

Julio, the annoying kid, mentions how of the dinosaurs found is cold

Mike Nelson:  and some frozen dork named Captain America is stuck to him (is this because Chris Evans was also the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four movies, Mike?)

Julio threatens to run away after Hacker yells at him

Bill Corbett:  I'm moving in with Zindy the Swamp Boy

The caveman tries to interrupt O'Leary's drinking by breaking down his door

Mike: Take this copy of Watchtower, or I'll kill you.

The final showdown between man and dinosaurus

Mike:  It's Barney

There's also riffs the Brady Bunch, Guardians of the Galaxy, the Marx Brothers, Tim Allen, Shelley Duvall, Paul Simon, Pirates World and Mike Mulligan. They even thrown in a couple of obscure references to Encino Man,  Hackers and an animated dinosaur movie that included Jay Leno.

This also marks the first time the movie includes Rifftrax's new animated opening that was introduced during the Godzilla showing less than three weeks ago. It'll be added to all future selections.

Learn more at Rifftrax's website, and get the movie here.

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