Krull Isn't Dull Thanks To Rifftrax

It's a pity that this summer's Rifftrax Live series was so short at two movies. After taking a second look at an MST3k fan favorite in Space Mutiny, the gang took on a cheesy sci-fi fantasy from 1983 called Krull over the weekend.
They're still not sure if Krull is the planet, the "hero", an old man or even a transparent spider.

The gang of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett are sure the movie gave Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane their big breaks in the movies, and that's something. The crew did a wonderful job with sharp riffs that kept this movie from getting too dull.

The story is about Colwyn and Lyssa, a prince and princess who are about to marry to unite their kingdoms. However, they're interrupted by a spaceship/evil castle/very big piece of driftwood. Lyssa is kidnapped by some weird looking alien called The Beast, and Colwyn the Boy King (or is it King Boy) spends the rest of the movie trying to save her,
It's a pity Lyssa, played by Lysette Anthony, is incredibly boring. She has three modes: anticipating marriage, running around aimlessly and staring into space.
It also doesn't help that she's dubbed by Lindsay Crouse, who's a much better actress.

Still, Colwyn needs a goal, and it's Princess Dull. He gets help from an old guy named Ynyr, an incompetent magician who gets lucky once, a bunch of unkempt bandits that include Neeson and Coltrane, a blind wizard, a Cyclops, alien Clydesdales, and a woman who lives in a web. She's played by Masterpiece Theater fave Francesca Annis. The only reason she's helping is that her name is the same as Princess Barbie Dull, and she should have been the main princess instead, really.

The logo of the movie is a glaive Colwyn finds in a river of hot Hawaiian Punch concentrate after climbing rocks for 20 minutes. He doesn't use it until the third act when he's battling the Beast...and the weapon that finally works is something else completely. Wha?

The Big Bad isn't that much better. We only see certain ugly parts until it's revealed he's (as the RT gang says) a tumor that gave birth to a Muppet. Sure, Colwyn had to kill it twice, but it's still a lame villain.

Anyway, let's get to the riffs. Some of them will include photos.

The Beast's Slayers attack the wedding
They accidentally hired a Red Wedding planner

Colwyn doesn't seem like a swashbuckler, or a King Boy.

Nothing says "action hero" like striped clowny pants

Coltrane looks like a Super Mario Brother, but Bill has another idea:

Bears, Polish Sausage, Ditka

The Beast tries to "seduce" Lyssa while looking like an evil Richard Chamberlain and showing what a two-timer Colwyn isn't...

Beast:  Lyssa....
Mike Nelson:  You're tearing me apart. (just think about that for a minute)

That's after it tries to put a wedding dress on her

Invisible Pope! Run!

Ynyr, the old guy, talks about the Widow of the Web

"She has great powers"
"Yeah, to kill"
"She may not kill me, for I know her name"
DEBBIE! (What, not Oprah or the Divine Miss M?)

They make fun of Neeson's movies, of course, especially when his character's dying words are that he never go to work with Jake Lloyd (look it up). There's also traditional callbacks to Golden Corral, Michael Vick and TLC, and riffs about Thai soccer players, Beauty and the Beast and Marilyn Manson.

While the live season is done, Rifftrax fans are looking forward to riffs on Ready Player One and Solo: A Star Wars Story. The riff for Krull should be available around Thanksgiving, while the movie itself is readily available. Mike Nelson also has a song about Krull that gives a fairly decent summary of the plot, but it's not like hearing the gang scowl at the movie itself.

Choose your riff at the website.

The NHL Visits Reno For Hot August Knights

This is not a meeting of the Nevada Mascot Association, but it's a good sign to see Archie Ace and Truckee from Reno 1868 FC to join Chance from the Las Vegas Golden Knights as part of the team's efforts to be the main NHL team for Reno, Boise, Wyoming and Salt Lake City.

It had a big bus as part of a road trip that started in Reno at the Atlantis this past Monday. It was a basic promotion that included the bus, some hockey goals for kids to shoot at, and Brad Hunt signing autographs.

While it's great the team is putting more attention to northern Nevada (which had a pro hockey team very briefly), it would have been great if they had jerseys on display or the Western Conference Trophy. Maybe throw in a few genuine hockey sticks and pucks.
There's also an effort to build a year-round ice rink to encourage youth hockey in Reno. There's been some talk of adding a rink to the Events Center to bring the ECHL here. Hopefully that will advance very soon.

It would also help if local radio or TV would show more Golden Knights games. They're occasionally on NBC Sports Network, but Spectrum doesn't have the local regional sports channel, AT&T Sportsnet, that carries the team. That would help, too. That's the best way to compete with the Aces and 1868...and University of Nevada, too.

Still, it's a good start, and it's getting me interested in getting a jersey of my own. For now, I have this...