It's a pity that this summer's Rifftrax Live series was so short at two movies. After taking a second look at an MST3k fan favorite in Space Mutiny, the gang took on a cheesy sci-fi fantasy from 1983 called Krull over the weekend.
They're still not sure if Krull is the planet, the "hero", an old man or even a transparent spider.
The gang of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett are sure the movie gave Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane their big breaks in the movies, and that's something. The crew did a wonderful job with sharp riffs that kept this movie from getting too dull.
The story is about Colwyn and Lyssa, a prince and princess who are about to marry to unite their kingdoms. However, they're interrupted by a spaceship/evil castle/very big piece of driftwood. Lyssa is kidnapped by some weird looking alien called The Beast, and Colwyn the Boy King (or is it King Boy) spends the rest of the movie trying to save her,
It's a pity Lyssa, played by Lysette Anthony, is incredibly boring. She has three modes: anticipating marriage, running around aimlessly and staring into space.
It also doesn't help that she's dubbed by Lindsay Crouse, who's a much better actress.
Still, Colwyn needs a goal, and it's Princess Dull. He gets help from an old guy named Ynyr, an incompetent magician who gets lucky once, a bunch of unkempt bandits that include Neeson and Coltrane, a blind wizard, a Cyclops, alien Clydesdales, and a woman who lives in a web. She's played by Masterpiece Theater fave Francesca Annis. The only reason she's helping is that her name is the same as Princess Barbie Dull, and she should have been the main princess instead, really.
The logo of the movie is a glaive Colwyn finds in a river of hot Hawaiian Punch concentrate after climbing rocks for 20 minutes. He doesn't use it until the third act when he's battling the Beast...and the weapon that finally works is something else completely. Wha?
The Big Bad isn't that much better. We only see certain ugly parts until it's revealed he's (as the RT gang says) a tumor that gave birth to a Muppet. Sure, Colwyn had to kill it twice, but it's still a lame villain.
Anyway, let's get to the riffs. Some of them will include photos.
The Beast's Slayers attack the wedding
They accidentally hired a Red Wedding planner
Colwyn doesn't seem like a swashbuckler, or a King Boy.
Nothing says "action hero" like striped clowny pants
Coltrane looks like a Super Mario Brother, but Bill has another idea:
Bears, Polish Sausage, Ditka
Beast: Lyssa....
Mike Nelson: You're tearing me apart. (just think about that for a minute)
That's after it tries to put a wedding dress on her
Invisible Pope! Run!
"She has great powers"
"Yeah, to kill"
"She may not kill me, for I know her name"
DEBBIE! (What, not Oprah or the Divine Miss M?)
They make fun of Neeson's movies, of course, especially when his character's dying words are that he never go to work with Jake Lloyd (look it up). There's also traditional callbacks to Golden Corral, Michael Vick and TLC, and riffs about Thai soccer players, Beauty and the Beast and Marilyn Manson.
While the live season is done, Rifftrax fans are looking forward to riffs on Ready Player One and Solo: A Star Wars Story. The riff for Krull should be available around Thanksgiving, while the movie itself is readily available. Mike Nelson also has a song about Krull that gives a fairly decent summary of the plot, but it's not like hearing the gang scowl at the movie itself.
Choose your riff at the website.
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