It's SO Eighties! Rifftrax Goes RAD

 

It's August, and it's time for another Rifftrax Live show. This time, it looks at a sport that is somehow part of the X Games.

The movie is RAD, made in 1986, and basically No Defeat, No Surrender with bikes. It's about  a paperboy named Cru who rides his BMX bike in really dangerous ways. Still, people want their USA Today. 
Some guys in suits led by Jack Weston come to Cru's town to promote a cool BMX contest and drum up business in the town. He's actually trying to boost his client Bart Taylor, barely portrayed by Bart Connor (yes, the gymnast who did NOT invent Gymkata but got hitched to Nadia Comaneci).

Cru wants to participate, but his mom, who is bitter since her movie career collapsed and got her trapped in this film, insists he work on getting to college.

So, it seems this movie will be about Cru and the hotshot BMX guy...until some hot girl enters the scene. She's played by Lori Loughlin. For some reason she can ride a BMX bike better than anyone. How come SHE's not in the contest? That's a movie.

Anyway, Cru tries to overcome obstacles, like Weston's company changing the rules to keep Cru out, but he gets unexpected help. He also falls for Lori after spending the first act impressing some other girl. You can guess the rest. If only Jean Claude Van Dam could ride a bike.

The movie is typical of the sports-themed movies in the 1980's and it's not THAT bad. Still, if Casablanca isn't safe from Rifftrax, neither is this one. The gang riff a lot about Lori's legal problems and the 80's in general, especially the dancing and fashions. Cru also talked a lot about ass-sliding, which is basically sliding.
They were also impressed Ray Walston got more interesting when Cru gets in trouble with Weston's crew. Ray winds up putting new meaning in the term "talk to the hand". Spicoli would have been stunned. 

What was more surprising that Bill Allen, the star of the movie, was in the Nashville audience. He, unlike Joe Don Baker, could take it. He also had a minor career aside from this movie. In fact, this trivia page from IMDB has some very interesting tidbits about the film.

Before the movie, fans endured two Gumby shorts. They were about a witch who kidnaps them for a very strange reason, and a hidden valley with dinosaurs who are hoping there's a fourth Jurassic World movie. 

OK, riff time:

Cru is in full training costume, including a mask that isn't quite right for fencing
Jason Voorhees' dorkier brother

Lori Loughlin in the credits
She shivved me at the prison shower.

Cru's mom brings in the groceries, played by Talia Shire
(mumbling bitterly) I was in The Godfather

Best way to describe the bike dance Cru and Lori have
Breaking Away and Saturday Night Fever got together, nine months later this movie came out. 

Then they kiss
Kissing, it's like ass-sliding with your mouth

Bart,  the hot-shot BMX biker, tries to look cool
Yeah, my haircut's really terrible.

Lori:  I thought you were a man
Mike:  No, you didn't

There's also riffs on Tilda Swinton, Footloose, Chicago Bears, Happy Days and Tik Tok.

The pre-show slides (with the usual comedy music) were better than usual. One predicted a Hallmark Channel movie called Hack Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and that might work. Saving Christmas via stealing back money another company stole? OK!

The VOD should be available in October or November. Get more riffs at rifftrax.com