After 34 Years, Have We Outgrown MST3K? HELL NO! Why the Season 14 Campaign Didn't Work

 

It's done.
The Season 14 Fundraiser hoped to get at least four million dollars for six episodes.
It fell short by one point three million.
So what does it mean?

Combing through Facebook and the MST message board, it's several reasons. Some aren't charmed by the revival. Some are still upset it took so long to get the swag from the Season 13 fundraiser. Some just didn't have the money right now. Some people thought it was about time the Gizmoplex funded itself, but cash from Pluto and Tubi aren't quite enough.

One of the more interesting takes came from the November 21st edition of the True Blue Riffcast, which reviews VODs and other things from Rifftrax. This was taped during the first day of the fundraiser, before the site added a running total. Before they razzed the TV version of Samson and Delilah, the hosts wondered why episodes for season 14 would average 616 to 667 thousand dollars apiece. 

First, let's make it clear the hosts are not fans of the revival, although they gave it a try. That's fine, since there are people who think the real MST lasted until 1999. Others think Doctor Who in the 21st Century isn't as good as the old days. 

Now, some clarity: if the fundraiser did hit four million, it would pay for six movies, six shorts and 18 "improved" classic episodes. So, an episode would have been closer to maybe 500 thousand, followed by maybe 90 thousand for a short and the rest for the classic episodes.

This was also before Joel sent an update which listed how the money was being spent, and revealed plans to go back to physical sets. Also, this was before he came up with some cost-cutting measures to make a new season easier to get.

The True Blue hosts also claim the MST audience is getting older, and that the show isn't as much of a cultural impact as it was in the early days.
Well, the original Mads are picking up a lot of business with its monthly shows, while Rifftrax is going strong. So, people want more of the original source for sarcastic movie opinions. 
It's likely after the fundraiser, the True Blue guys have a better idea of what it's all about. They might still believe new MST3K will never be as good as those episodes from Times Past. 
The Season 14 fundraiser just didn't work due to a perfect storm of bad timing, and let's not forget the SAG-AFTRA strike held back promotion.

So, what can be done?
Joel said this past weekend he isn't giving up. In his latest e-mail, he said "(one) silver lining is that the continued support for this campaign, and the show, may have opened up some new conversations about potential partnerships and fundraising that could be key in getting the show another season." 

So, it could be part fund-raiser with the rest funded by someone. Asking Shout! Factory to cover half the cost could work.
Also, it helps we know what the first six movies will be, including Plan Nine and Battle Beyond the Stars.
If there is a guarantee we'll have Gauntlet II with just those movies, that'll help. Also, instead of six movies in one day, have them run daily over a week. Disney Plus is doing that with the second season of What If...?

Next, how do we handle Gauntlet II? Kinga would recapture Joel, Emily and (maybe) Joel, then impose the ultimate punishment. Yeah, Plan Nine From Outer Space. She'll expect them to be driven to madness, but my guess is they'll express distain but that's it. It could be set up where Jonah suffers through a reel, followed by Emily.
Then, Kinga will wonder why the test cases don't become comatose husks. She and Max take over for Jonah, the two Synthias for Emily. Then they know why.

After that, Joel gets a movie, and Jonah and Emily split the rest.

What about Pearl? Maybe keep her "missing" while she's at Dumb Industries and Rifftrax, then spring her out of the blue when season 15 is approved.

Just try again, maybe in March.

We will have a season 14 somehow.

If Only H.G. Wells Saw This Coming...

In 1933, H.G. Wells wrote a book that predicted the future for the next 80 years. It was right about the future from World War II, problems in the Middle East and more. It also discussed how advances in technology could affect the human race and how it can stay human (or if). It lead to an interesting movie three years later....and a terrible one more than forty years after that.

Of course, Mystery Science Theater 3000 had to take on the terrible one. It's The Shape of Things To Come, which was already pummeled by Rifftrax. It was a Canadian attempt to make something that was barely like Star Wars, but a lack of funding, decent acting and real effort made that unlikely. 

Despite this, it extended the show's winning streak of ripping lousy movies a new one. Once again, Emily Marsh shows she is the future of MST3K. The Simulator of Love's version of Crow is getting much better, especially verbally, and that version of Tom Servo is still smooth. Their riffs also get off the rails a bit but wind up being more complex than Jonah's crew. 

A prime example is when Emily is asked what she'd do if she had 45 seconds to live. She says she'd face it with grace, but later admits she'd burn everything down with a flame thrower (which makes sense to the bots).

So, the plot (?):  some budding space dictator named Omos, a role devoured by Jack Palance, wants to take over the Moon after his robots take over Delta 3, the source of a mineral that helps Earthlings live on the Moon (something about ruining the Earth after some robot wars). The only people who can stop him is a Moon Councilman named Caball, his son Jason, his friend Kim and a modified robot named Sparks. They have to steal a spaceship to do it, but that makes it almost like Rogue One, right?

Meanwhile the ex-leader of Delta 3, named Nikki (Carol Lynley), tries to fight Omos off. Sadly, she may have the ideal pant suit but not the weapons. 

Caball and his crew stop off at Earth to fix the ship, and find kids who were victims of the robot war. Then they head to Delta 3, but have to get through a magnetic field that inspires drug jokes and a trip to the Friend Zone for Jason. 

They challenge Omos but it doesn't turn out well...until the least likely person in the cast saves the day. You figure out who. At least Jack gets a defeat that seems slightly embarrassing. 

The host segments were also solid. They have a Friars' Club style roast for Sparks which gets "ruined" by Emily, a podcast devoted to a character from the movie that was seen for five seconds, and an attempt to make the robots able to love. That's risky, because they're worried they'll learn to love the movies. Uh, Roger Corman and Coleman Francis make that impossible. 

The final segments were bizarre, yet interesting. First, Emily and Servo meet Crow-mos, who tries to overpower them with his (or her) long pauses.

   
                                         


Meanwhile, Kinga and Max agree they can rule the universe by doing what Omos tried to do but not screw it up.
OK, but where's their robots? Waverly and Growler won't cut it, as they are investigating the hole in the roof of the Kingadome finally. Say, what if they find some who's not supposed to be there....like Kabahl? Now is the time, right?
     
                                         

Oh, and Max says if they succeed, humans would be obsolete. Isn't that bad?
Well, Kinga says she's not human because "I'm a whole other deal".
Meaning what?  Even she doesn't know.
If she was made from a cell from Clayton Forrester's medical checkup 40 years ago, that would explain a lot. Now is the time for that, too. 

The post-game show discussed the Hobbit, the best puppets, and Jonah wondering if he's was followed to wherever he was broadcasting. Emily also admits she hopes the show will be her ticket to HBO. 
Well, Joel went the other way (HBO to this show) and did fine. 

Now, riff time. We'll compare the MST and Rifftrax versions:

Overhead shot of a smooth part of the Moon
MST:  Moon Pattern Baldness
RT:  That place is just littered with golf balls

Omos:  You mean, what do I really want, Doctor?
MST:  I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
RT:  Please don't say a thorough colonoscopy.

Omos' palace
MST:  Full Metal Jack and the Beanstalk
RT:  Behold the evil of Sauron's down-on-his-luck cousin, Ronron

Omos tries to scare Dr. Caball with a hologram
RT:  And yes, I am currently standing on a Roomba
MST:  Visit scenic Mount Palance

Nikki tries to fight evil robots
MST:  Canadian Public TV presents Seven Brides for Seven Robots
RT:  This is me (Kevin) every time I find a spider in the shower

There's also riffs on EMF, Buck Rogers, eHarmony, Mork and Mindy, Believe It or Not (guess why), Texaco, West Side Story, Baby Shark,  and Marvel movies in general. 

There's also a scene where a robot pushes a button that says "cancel"
Response by Emily:  Meanwhile at Netflix... (Bitter? Sure, they're bitter, but "Meanwhile at HBO Max" also works. 

A new month means a new theme, namely "horror".
The feature movie is Devil Doll on October 14th preceded by a short on the balance beam. Thankfully, it's not as old as you think. 
The main event is the 3D showing of The Mask (pre Jim Carrey) on the 28th. More info at
gizmonic.com

One more thing:  this was the intermission from the show. Just this. Five minutes straight.
Eat your heart out, White Dot. 

Holy Bat-Bikini! MST3K Mocks Mexican Cinema Again

 Before we get to Santo-rita or whoever she is, let's talk about her...
                                      

Yvonne Ingrid Freese is both MegaSynthia and GPC2 on the show, and she is serious, in this mood and what is happening to her now.

It's been revealed she has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis after she had a serious headache recently. This means expensive treatments, and fans and friends have rallied to help her out. She was quite lively in the latest post-game show, but this will be a tough time for her

A GoFundMe account has been made to help out with bills and such, and the response has been astounding after nearly a week. Still, every little bit helps.
So, head to https://gofund.me/6f63df53 and contribute. She just arrived in the MST-Verse. She must be  with us for a long time!

OK, now the review...

Say, who is that masked girl?
Well, someone thought turning Bruce Wayne into a sexy socialite who fights crime and wrestles on the side would be a great idea....if no one notices.
After all, Jerry Warren got in trouble with his own Batwoman movie just a year before. First, she had a bat tattoo on top of her cleavage. The story was terrible, and it had a chunk of Mole People. 

Well, seeing a sexy but unauthorized masked heroine to offset the dozens of Santo movies per year is easier to take. However, the story and really talky scenes takes a lot out of it.
It's the latest edition of Mystery Science Theater 3000's 13th season, where Synthia is the substitute Mad while these two go on a road trip to the Bubonic Plague via the Time Bag. We could think of a better road, like accidentally ruining their pasts, but maybe that's coming soon.

While Max is in charge, it's Synthia who is the boss. She just discovered MegaSynthia has become an obnoxious teenager. Her Invention Exchange isn't that impressive.

Now, the movie...

                                          Batwoman thought this was going to be a casual autopsy.

Some wrestlers have been missing with their pineal glands being drained. After they rule out a bitter woman who loves booze more than her jerk of a scientist husband, an agent called Mario suggests asking the Batwoman to help. She's hard to describe with words, but showing her shooting a gun, modeling a mink and wrestling somehow helps. 

The bad guy is some crazy scientist named Williams, who wants to make gill men to rule the seas. He won't be one himself, like some other guy, but he'll do it.

And this is his boat. What does THIS make you do?

                                                            Cada pais tiene el monstruo

From here, it's basically talky scenes, some wrestling, some underwater footage, and the Batwoman running with sexy results. There's a decent fight scene or two, thanks to her stunt double.

                                               
                                                                       HI-KEE-BAT!

Then there are scenes Emily and her bots would rather not see...like a bunch of stinky men standing around.

Eventually, the evil doc decides to capture Batwoman to make her a mother of a mutant species. Of course, she'll need help from her agent pal Mario. Remember, this was made in Mexico in 1967. The last thing male movie fans need is seeing a strong and confident female version of Santo or Blue Demon. The movie makes sure that she still needs a man even if she is the main hero.
Hey, America was the same. Look what we did to Honey West and the Girl from UNCLE...but thankfully failed to do to Emma Peel. 

Eventually, she wins, by tricking one of the Gill Men to attack the doc. 

                                           You were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar....

Still, the movie has to mock her at the end. This never happens to the Wrestling Women against the Aztec Mummy (yes, that's real).

The host segments nearly steal the show. First, Emily (who's not tied to anything) has to deal with Bot Scientists who want to mutate her. Maybe because they found out she's two percent bot.
Still, she's interested in being part Red Panda.

Then, some billionaire vigilantes (not Tony Stark) talk about how they should use their money

The best one was the Batwoman franchise scam, complete with fake Batwoman certificate and costume...

Who'd fall for that, and does this mean Mega's the new Max?

Speaking of which, how did Max do as the "boss"?
It's burning coffee shop time.

Don't worry. Kinga won't fire him and try to replace him with Emily. They'll just get to the next lousy movie. Still, doesn't mean it won't be considered (unwisely)...

Other riffs...

Batwoman tries to swim underwater with a propellor
This is Batwoman's side hustle, delivering whale tampons

A beach party with "dancing"
Is the one on the left Elaine (Benes)?

The doctor rants:  "There is an invisible line separating insanity and genius."
The Kanye line

and one more picture (with GPC2)...

                                              She's obviously never heard of Isadora Duncan

There's also riffs on Repo Man, Nintendo, the Ramones, Ford Fiesta, Roger Deakins and the Snorks.

The post-game show with the cast was just as entertaining, with Yvonne trying to deal with rain outside wherever she is. They compared this movie with the Santo one, and which was better. That's a bit unfair, because he has more movies than wrestling women do. They reveal there are a lot of musical jokes. They also get a bit vague about the rest of the season, but it will involve a dragon, some bubble, more GPC2 (maybe next month), and a reunion of some type? 
Does that mean they re-trapped Mike?

In the meantime, the super (?) hero movies continue in Synthia's Selects until the 31st, and may give way to spy movies in September. That'll mean the fake 007 brother, a Mighty Jack, and some type of dragon.

MST Enters A Movie of Madness...but Doesn't Blame the Screenwriter

 I AM THE WATCHER....
and I have seen countless realities from countless words, but I must not interfere.

Still, aside from the Ultimate Ultron thing, I wish I tried to fix this universe.

Season 13 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is almost at the halfway mark, and it took on a movie that was almost a Marvel movie from 30 years ago. It's called Doctor Mordrid, and features Jeffrey Combs. He's familiar to horror movie and Star Trek fans. Here, he's a sorcerer above average battling an evil magician named Kabal who sadly is a merger between Ric Flair and Lex Luger.

                                    

Thing is, he's also familiar to Buffy fans. Brian Thompson was both Luke (Buffy's first tough vampire rival) and the Judge (who doesn't do well against missles). 

Here, he's a guy who steals platinum and diamonds as part of his plot to destroy the world. He also has to get a magic stone from a museum, then pour hand sanitizer and Vitamin Water to free demons.

Mordrid gets help from a researcher who works for the Dumbest Police Department Ever, run by a lunkhead who finished dead last in the Joe Piscopo contest.
He also seems to have a boss who is just two eyes in space, called the Monitor.

Would have been better if the boss was called Bette Davis Eyes.
Of course, Mordrid wins, and the police still think he's guilty of something. He wisely goes away for a while but returns for Christmas. You think he'd bring some reindeer, or be part of a pathetic romance. 

However, the best part of the show was an extensive interview with screenwriter  C. Courtney Joyner. He talked a lot about how Jack Kirby was part of the movie, and that B movies aren't what they used to be. Anyone who rents the full version (with long intro, commercials and the movie) is in for a treat. The post-game shows are clearly a great addition to MST.

                                       

As far as the show itself, it had some great host segments where Emily shows how tough it can be to be a magical landlord, and her versions of Servo and Crow try to hypnotize each other. It ends with what would have happened if Kevin Feige chose a different career path.

As for the Mads, guess who's back.

The OTHER Kabahl has decided to get one of the original hosts back for another go-around. Fans already know its Joel, but they're surprised how quickly he'll return to the show.

A bigger surprise:  who's going into the Time Bag to get Joel (although it would have been easier to just call him)...

Now, riff time:

Mordrid wakes from a vision

I was going to play Dr. Strange but we lost the rights to the character and then we went ahead and made the movie anyway.

He wows people with his latest lecture on the mystic arts and how they're better than idiot cops.

Paging Dr. Awesome, there's a call for on on the "Nailed It Phone"

Samantha, the female presence, tries to get to Mordrid's place

Do I hear geography?

He's later in full sorcerer mode

James Brown wants his cape back. 

Mordrid gets to his castle in another dimension

I think this movie is having a near-death experience.

Two dinosaur skeletons fight, while Kabal laughs

Harryhausen and the Philosopher's Stone

There's also riffs on Van Wilder, K-Mart, Zardoz, Brazil, Eiffel 65 and MC Hammer.

Oh, and did Dr. Erhardt succeed?

Well, there will be a sale on brown vests soon. He'll take on Demon Squad, a three year old movie about a guy who battles evil but also thinks he's Mike Hammer. Not a good mix. 
It's like Lycan Colony but with three more dollars in its budget. 

Learn more at gizmoplex.com

MST3K Goes Beyond Atlantis...And Gender

 

For the first time, Mystery Science Theater 3000 has its first female host...and a female voice for one of the bots.
It's all because Kinga Forrester was told by her (most likely fake) financier from the future to get a second host.
This will be the biggest mistake she'll ever make.
Emily Marsh, as Emily Connor, is that good.

As far as the story goes, Emily installs the Simulator of Love, a virtual version of the Satellite of Love. Thing is, she's with Gizmonic, and it doesn't know she's on the moon. That might be an issue.

Kinga strands her there, and Emily's kind of upset. Still, she quickly settles into her new spot with her simulated versions of Tom Servo (Conor McGiffin) and Crow (Kelsey Ann Brady). She also shows she's very skilled with her invention exchange of Mecha Hands (an advanced version of the Manos Hands from the MST movie).

Now about Crow's new voice...
first, this is a different version of Crow. Of course, it would be different. Some fans in the forums didn't like it because it was screechy. Some didn't like the idea a woman should voice Crow. Some gave her a chance and liked it because of her style. 
Anyone remember how Tom Servo sounded when Kevin Murphy first arrived? He tried to sound like the previous guy, J. Elvis Weinstein. It took time, but he made the voice his own, tossing in some fine singing. Bill Corbett had his transition time when he took on Crow. Kelsey should have the same opportunity. She'll have less of an opportunity this season because of fewer episodes, but she'll get there. 
In fact, in the post-game show, she was quite charming. For more information, check out this thread from the MST3K forums.
Oh, and it seems Emily and Jonah will be plotting something against Kinga and Max. They don't know more people will be coming soon, but we're still not sure about this Kabahl guy.

Oh yeah, the lousy movie...

the show wrapped up its pre-season, or soft open, with Beyond Atlantis. It's a 1973 film where some pearl hustlers from the Philippines discover some big pearls provided by a beautiful blonde named Syrene. They find out she's part of a race of fish people with weird eyes. It's ruled by a guy played by George Nader (yes, the snarky guy from Human Duplicators), who tries to be regal while sitting on a clam. There's also a scientist who wonders if Syrene's tribe is from Atlantis. 
The movie features Patrick Wayne, son of John, who insisted it should be a PG movie. It also has John Ashley, who was in Attack of the the Eye Creatures, and a couple of Rifftrax "gems". He's best known to making movies in the Philippines and making an OK living at it.

There's not much action in the movie until Syrene is told she has to mate with someone to keep the tribe going. The bug-eyed fish people can't do it. She does have sex with one of the pearl divers, but he's interested in the scientist. This leads to an underwater fight that for some reason includes the theme from a British nightly news show. 

This leads to a strange ending that's better left unexplained...which describes a bunch of movies riffed on this show.

Speaking of riffs:

The first appearance of the fish people
The Island of Dr. Matt Groening

East Eddie falls into a crab pit
Sir, that is no way to start the Crab 100 Meter Dash

"When will you mate?" Nereus tells Syrene
After I execute the Queen's Gambit

Syrene has sex with a guy and two fish people lay out something over then
And that's how I net your mother

There's a funeral towards the end
To be fair, this movie makes me want to walk into the ocean, too.

There's also riffs on Venmo, Gary Busey, Russ Meyer, Kato Kaelin and Marty Feldman.

Besides, the host segment that wrapped up the episode made history. It's the first time MST conquered rap music.

Emily also renovated GPC so she can be in more segments. 
Oh, Kinga, what have you done?

Now that the pre-season is over, how will it prepare for the Grand Opening?
It'll present the first three shows in the first weekend in May, then new shows every two weeks. 
People will get a chance to sample an episode for ten bucks, then the option to rent or buy a week later. They can also get three-month subscriptions, too, but it should be interesting how the Gizmoplex channel tries to be accessible to everyone. Ten-dollar tickets may lead to more cash thanks to downloads once people see that the show's turned a corner after a three-year break.

Watch out, Rifftrax Friends!

By the way, the show will have "tributes" to Hobgoblins and Future War during May, then the next movie, Munchie on May 27th.

MST3K: All Hail Cabal, Then Wonder About Robot Wars

 

This ain't your uncle's Mystery Science Theater 3000, because now the Mads have a boss.

His name is Cabal, who claims he's from the future and is paying Kinga and Max's bills.
He's probably a high-tech fraud, but at least he suggests they get a second host (which is where Emily Marsh comes in). Cabal is played by Baron Vaughn, who also voices Tom Servo. So, is Kabal the second coming of Kevin Murphy except with a aerodynamic hoodie? We shall see.

Aside from that, the second half of the "soft open" gets underway with a showing of Robot Wars. It's about a guy named Drake who operates a scorpion robot that shoots at tanks while carrying passengers. It takes place in 2041, so it's more depressing than, say, Warriors of the Lost World. 
Anyway, he flirts with a passenger who suspects something is hidden under a ghost town called Crystal Valley. It's supposed to be a relic of 1993 (when this movie was made). An Asian guy and a "journalist" get involved, and it's revealed a long-forgotten robot is buried under the town. It soon emerges, setting up the "Robot War" which barely lasts a couple of minutes. The terrible stop-action animation doesn't help either. 

The riffing, however, is a little better than the Santo vs. Dracula movie. The host segments were good, too. It featured Jonah in a dress (yikes), a tour of a 1990's theme park, and a Ted Talk about Drake's buddy Stumpy

Then Kinga and Max wonder how they can get a second host. Thanks to Synthia, they get a solution:

It looks like her first movie will happen in a few weeks.

So, let's get to the riffs:

Drake tries to charm Leda (the nosy passenger)
What's the opposite of a meet cute? Beat you?

Stumpy the sidekick:  What would John Wayne do?
Say something racist?

The buried robot emerges through a parking lot
So that's how Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Balloons are born

Then it's about to fight the Scorpion robot
I'm gonna walk down to Electric Avenue

To their credit, Jonah and the bots riffs through very long closing credits.
Best Boy, why isn't there a Best Girl?

There were also riffs on Scottsdale, Home Depot, Dukes of Hazzard, Joe Frazier, Hamilton and This Island Earth (the MST version). 

Afterwards, there was a pre-taped discussion about the Gizmoplex and why Joel decided on a "soft launch" first. He was joined by Matt McGinnis, Lesley Kinzel and Ivan Askwith. They made some great points about how backers got a chance to see them build the Plex while getting it ready for the grand opening on May 6th. Joel compared it to a basketball team getting some practice time before the season starts. They also wanted the fans to see the process and how that can be very interesting. So far, it's led to some valuable feedback that can be used once everyone else can get a chance to check out the Gizmoplex. 

They also say it's not like Netflix, and that's not the goal here. It's a place where people can be part of MST3K as a fan or backer, or just someone who wonders what they heck it is. They can go with subscriptions or just buy or rent an episode. It's also a chance for other MSTies to share their love for the show, and spread the word. As Joel says, it's kind of like buying a season ticket to live plays or a Best of Broadway series. He also admits he's not trying to compete with other sci-fi franchises like Star Trek, and he shouldn't. MST is all about mocking the genre, especially the low-tech attempts, and that makes it a unique part in our lives and America (AMEN!).

There was also some discussion on how the show changed over the years. It started as a nice way to spend two hours on the Comedy Central, to something really different on SyFy. That channel treated the show as a sci-fi series with plot and stuff, never mind the movie mocking. Now that the show is its own boss, it can be the best of all of its incarnations.

That makes sense. After all, Broadway shows have previews and out-of-town tryouts before Opening Night. This is the same thing.
It's already had an effect. The intermission for the second episode was much shorter compared to Santo, which was basically a long host segment.

Anyway, the next show will be Emily's first with Beyond Atlantis, made in the Philippines. That'll be on the 29th.
Oh, and look who came back...

MST3K Live Is Making Contact With Bad Movies Again

 

The Mystery Science Theater Live tour is underway, and stopped off at the Pioneer Center in Reno recently. It presented a movie that was made out of leftover bits from every Spielberg movie, while the newest Mad tried to show she was supreme.

Someone was supreme:  the new "victim", Emily Marsh. She is more than a match for MegaSynthia's schemes and is probably more of a heir apparent to the experiment than Jonah. She clearly knows the show and how to riff even the cheesiest movies. As we told her in this post, she is the Kate Bishop of MST.
Was she pleased? VERY!

I will say one thing: fans should know not all stops in the live tour are the same. They're saving the "meet and greets" for the bigger cities, and not everyone who gets the premium seats get even a lanyard. This was the case in Reno, but I was glad to find out they had the face mask set. A bit pricey, but it's one of the models I will keep once the $@#!! Covid thing is over. 
Besides, I still got a great view of the whole thing. Thing is, I was the only guy with a jumpsuit.

So, what's the live tour theme?
Well, since MegaSynthia is still relatively new in the MST-verse, she thinks weird hair and scary behavior would be enough. She even showed pictures of the other Mads, and made sure they weren't flattering at all. After all, this is HER show.
Then Emily Connor (her name on the show) and the bots arrived, and let's say her version of the theme reveals she became the test case a bit too willingly.

Then the caper:  Meg "traps" everyone in a Time Bubble so we go 33 years in the past and be forced to see every episode starting with The Crawling Eye...which aired in 1989.
First off, true fans can do that themselves by any means necessary. Also, some of the past experiments have been shown elsewhere (but certainly not Monster-a-Go-Go).
She's new. She'll do better in her third live tour. Maybe better hair. She should be more well-known once she gets her turn in the Gizmoplex next Spring.

They took on an early Roland Emmerich movie, Making Contact. When you get mad at Moonfall next year, blame this movie. It's about a kid named Joey who just lost his dad. However, thanks to a toy phone, he can talk to dad...or does he? 
Then he acquires strange powers, like moving stuff with his mind and having toys do his bidding or something. Then, an evil dummy causes even more chaos.
Mix in some annoying kids, a cute girl with pigtails, and a bunch of scientists who have enough gizmos to set up an "avant-garde production of Jesus Christ Superstar", and you have a disaster. 
Well, at least it didn't stop him from making Godzilla look stupid by mixing him with Sleepless in Seattle. 

Emily and the bots approach the movie by looking at the surprising amount of licensed items, and commenting a lot on the evil dummy. There's also the fact the plot was Spielberg's Greatest Hits, only knockoffs of the best parts. At one point, she compares the dummy to Paul Williams.
Even GPC2 got into the fun, just like Jonah's version does sometimes. They also had two great musical spoofs in the riffing, including one that was perfect for the season.

The host segments were very good, as they talked about knockoffs of familiar toys (including one that might be a bit inappropriate) and compared the movie to a familiar brand of pasta mix. The best was Emily singing about how buying stuff makes one happy...like maybe at a nearby souvenir stand at the lobby.

One thing they especially noticed is that the movie had a lot of slats everywhere, from Joey's door to the decaying house where his "friends" were planning an attack on him. It seemed annoying, until one came in quite handy during the end of the show.

The fourth live tour holds up quite well compared to the previous three editions. The first one was just like the Netflix show, while the next two depended on the presence of Joel Hodgson to pull in the fans and pass the baton to the next generation. With Emily, the future is now, and Mega should fine-tune her evil eye to "intimidate" Emily. It's clear Emily Connor is more than prepared to riff away (and maybe because she's looking for an easy gig). 

Unlike my Rifftrax reviews, I'm not listing any riffs because the tour will be going until February, as it prepares to move back east after the New Year. They'll be heading soon to Denver, Dallas, Kansas City, Atlanta and New York City. Check the schedule at mst3klive.com/events.

What if Mystery Science Theater 3000 Mocked Itself?

Now that "Let's Give Stupidity A Chance" is the national anthem (thanks to how sad the fight against coronavirus has become), fans of MST3K are wondering if and when they'll be another live tour. It's already suggested a new era, with Cambot operator Emily as the new test case, and Mega-Synthia the Angry Tall Mad.

This past weekend's special online event made it official. Emily, Servo, Crow and GPC (Gypsy's new name) gathered to mock a cheesy movie. This time, though, they mocked an episode from the Comedy Channel era called Moon Zero Two (Season one, episode eleven). This was called a space western, although a group of people who wear brown coats would differ. Besides, it was made just after Apollo 11, proof the future ain't what it used to be.

As with late night shows, Emily and the bots riffed at different locations, but were able to merge their efforts fairly well. The only problem was the episode's sound wasn't loud enough, but they were able to squeeze in quite a few riffs in between the ones already there. Here's the show:



If this is the future of MST3K, whether on stage or maybe Shout Factory TV, it looks like Emily will be way too much of a good sport responding to bad movies. It'll force Mega-Synthia to maybe riff a reel herself to see where is the flaw in the experiment.
The flaw, of course, is failing to notice how sharp Emily REALLY is.

Anywho, the movie's about an ex-astronaut who salvages broken tech. He meets a shifty rich guy named Hubbard who wants an asteroid loaded with sapphires to land on the moon so he can profit from it. Meanwhile, a woman's looking for her missing brother, whose mining claim is about to expire. Naturally, they're connected. Making a movie set 50 years in the future is interesting, but the movie doesn't do much with the idea. Using jazz music to mimic a shootout isn't enough.

During the riff, the crew shifts between being in character and themselves, but it was an interesting look at how the cheese is made. Emily asked Joel questions about the episode at a couple of times, especially how the Moon Landing pageant tailed off at the end.
Still, Yvonne Ingrid Freeze should fine tune Mega-Synthia. Staying at full rage won't help, but opening up every once in a while could help...along with a comb. The original Synthia should also show up to look in on her "copy".

Also, it was strange to see the movie with Emily and the bots in boxes on the far right. It would be better, just like Rifftrax, to show them for three minutes, then fade them out, during each "reel".

So, what riffs did they deliver?

The bots look at themselves from 1990
Servo: We haven't aged, have we?

Emily looks at Joel dancing through the opening credits
Even in silhouette, Joel is so very white

Old Servo:  In the future, bras will grow on the moon. Cross my heart
GPC:  And right next door, the training bras are in bloom.

There were also comments on ESPN, MegaBlocks, Barbarella, The Music Man and Mr. Plow.

Emily also had a host segment with the bots, riffing on the wigs of two girls who hang around with Hubbard. It was a nice touch.

Servo is supposed to be Kemp, based on the fact that his forehead is shiny, too.

The show ended with a short called "Circus Day", narrated by a clown who does his own makeup. The short actually was barely four minutes, but the full version can be found here. It has more details about the show and some of the acts. Hopefully, future episodes can include short films, which is something dominated by Rifftrax these days.

This show gave people who didn't make the live show a taste of what they missed, and what they might get sooner or later. It also keeps the dream alive that it'll be back somewhere.
If Mystery Science Theater 3000 has proven anything, it's that Hollywood hasn't learned a thing, and most likely won't.
Thanks to a test case and two bots, at least we can strike back.
That being said, what other first season episode could they take on? Maybe "The Mad Monster" (despite also having to deal with the serials) or "Untamed Youth". Any ideas?

No Retreat, No Surrender: The MST3K Circus Comes to Reno

When Joel Hodgson announced his farewell tour, also known as the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Great Cheesy Movie Circus tour, he planned to make sure a major part of the country saw him and his retirement from mocking bad movies.

He and his crew arrived at the Pioneer Center in Reno this past Monday, which looks like a UFO, before a near sellout crowd. The crowd was literally an all-ages event, from kids like these:

to those who have been with the show, and their successors, like me.

I was among about 20 people who were there for the meet and greet. The usual questions were told, especially how an episode is made and how it began way back in 1988. I even asked if fans wrote their own scripts to movies that might be riffed. Joel seemed to be surprised someone would mock Serenity (the sci-fi version), but I'm glad I didn't mention how I wrote riffs for the 1992 Buffy movie.

I did tell him I actually had a poster from Catalina Caper, the only "comedy" the show ever riffed.

So, here's me with everyone:

and the sign that was outside the theater:

Joel also seemed to be surprised I saw the "feature presentation", No Retreat, No Surrender, which was a movie that tried to be the Karate Kid, Rocky and maybe The Outsiders at the same time and didn't come close. He apparently didn't know Mike Nelson and Rifftrax pounded that movie in 2015.
However, I also discovered the movie had two different cuts. Rifftrax had the longer, but definitely not better, version by adding how the guy who ran the Seattle dojo was also threatened by the mob. The MST version was shorter and a few scenes were re-arranged, but at least it had one scene that explained how Jason knew Kelly, the love interest who was more like a prop.

The plot is about a kid named Jason who wants to be like Bruce Lee. When some mobsters cripple his dad after he refuses to sell out to them, they move to Seattle for a fresh start. He has a friend in RJ, but fails to impress the karate dojo mainly due to some fat kid who can be described as Andy Richter Jr...and not in a good way.
Suddenly, Jason gets help from the ghost of Bruce Lee. Jason becomes better at martial arts, but no one notices.
This is also the debut of Jean Claude Van Damme, who plays an evil martial arts guy named Ivan. He's the guy who cripples Jason's dad for the mob. Of course, Jason and Ivan have their rematch in the big karate competition that's supposed to help the mob take over Seattle.

You can guess the rest.

The host segments were quite different compared to the previous two live tours. The one familiar thing is Joel in a new version of his red jumpsuit, and he sang the theme himself.
Tom Servo and Crow were there, too, while a new version of Gypsy called GPC was more flexible than the original.
There was also Mega-Synthia (Yvonne Freese), whose origin story is interesting, and a gal named Emily Crenshaw (Emily Marsh) who has a jump suit that suggests her future. She briefly took over for Joel in the third segment, and well, she did play a big part in last year's Turkey Day marathon:



If and when a new version of MST3K is made, it looks like she'll take over along with Mega-Synthia. She'd be fine in a new Satellite of Love.
The host segments had their own take on traditional circus acts, with Crow up to his own tricks. They were pretty good, especially with Joel's decision to use "hidden puppeteers" to help the bots do things they've never done before, It was a trip seeing Crow with legs and on a pogo stick.
You can learn more about the cast here, and this page has very good behind the scenes videos, especially on the puppeteers.

As I said before, MST's riffing on the movie is different from the Rifftrax version because they used two different versions of the movie. So, comparing riffs will be a bit tougher. Joel (and Emily) and the bots packed a lot more riffs than Mike and his guys, but they also seemed a lot fresher. So, time for examples:

JCVD shows up with mobsters:

RT: Ivan the Scotsman
MST: Jean Claude Van Mannequin

Jason's dad tries to stand up to them, but his acting is as weak as his resolve:
"I will not join....your organization"
RT:  That's what I keep telling the CVS Extra Care Rewards Program
MST: Boy, if these cheaply painted walls could talk

Scott and his gang try to beat up RJ for no reason because the movie doesn't say why
RT:  Biggest fast feud brawl since Dave Thomas kicked Arthur Treacher's ass at a Wendy's 
parking lot.
MST:  (Scott's too big for RJ to knock down) Nothing moves the Blob

Ghost of Bruce Lee shows up
RT:  A waiter from a Chinese restaurant
MST:  HE'S NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Scott's dad serves beer to a fat drunk
RT:  Darker side of Chris Pratt
MST:  Treat me right. I'm an influencer for Yelp

Ivan comes back in the big karate battle, and this time he's got an entourage
RT:  Flanked by the sales team of a Yugoslavian Guess store
MST:  Los Lobos?

There's also riffs on Pacific Rim, Reno (of course), Joe Don Baker, Game of Thrones, the Oscars (which shows how they retool the show), and the Beverly Hills Cop theme.
At this point of the tour, the crew seems to play this movie more than the other choice, Circus of Horrors. Both movies will be shown in the same area twice in the home stretch in a couple of weeks. If MST comes back, it would be interesting to see their riff on this movie.

Oh, the concession stand in the lobby did some great business, especially t-shirts and MST decals where your laptop can have an MST silhouette. There's even a website where anyone can get swag.

This, however, is not available online:

Good thing the sign has the recipe. That way, anyone close to a BevMo can try their own "Robot Roll Call" while watching the show. At least it's easier to make than a "Killer Shrew". Anyone got ideas on how to make a "StarCrash"or a "Torg-Over"?

The tour continues for another month, with upcoming stops in Colorado, Minneapolis, Atlanta and Texas. Just click mst3klive.com for more info.