This week, I spent a lot of time looking for Christmas bargains, sure-fire eBay entries including that Joker action figure from Batman: The Dark Knight that was so hard to find last summer, and items for another holiday dinner.
I also caught up with Pushing Daisies, which ABC cancelled by forgetting it was part of the Wednesday night line-up. They won't let you forget Lost, but they want to convince us a show about a baker who solves crimes by reviving the dead victims by touching them is too dumb to exist.
OK, how will they explain this....
What's giving the show more bite is Chuck's regrettable decision to let her dead dad, Charles, live after Ned revived him. This stemmed from the arrival of Dwight Dixon, who was a suspicious sort with eyes for Aunt Vivian. "Aunt" Lily (who is Charlotte's mom but that wasn't revealed until a year ago) wanted to to eliminate Dwight, but that was taken care of...by Ned. See, he can only revive people for 60 seconds. At 61, someone else has to die. Dwight apparently was about to shoot Ned and Chuck at her dad's grave...until the dead dad lived beyond 60 seconds. Thus, no more Dwight. That's bad news for Vivian, who's lonely again, but were his affections real? We'll never know, thanks to some jerk TV network!
Charles is now the zombie dad Chuck always wanted...except for the zombie part. He's also as much of a jerk as an ABC executive. He's not too happy Ned is with Chuck, since Ned accidentally killed him because he wasn't clear on how the magic touch really worked. Zombie Charles may have a point, but in his condition, is it really worth it? Also, what was his relationship with Lily before, well, it produced Chuck? Was he cheating on his wife, and if so, does this mean the first death was payback? If he wasn't married at the time....well, that would be trickier.
Well, Zombie Charles doesn't see it that way. Now that he's undead, he's not going to be cooped up like his daughter became after the first death. If she won't join him in adventures, he'll do so alone....taking off in the night in Ned's car.
Now, this could mean he'll blab about how he's the walking dead...and why...and who's responsible. That is bad news for Ned, and really bizarre to those who aren't aware of it, like the aunts and Olive Snook, Ned's waitress who apparently hasn't gotten over him after all.
What started as a cheerful fairly tale has veered into a Grimm Fairy Tale, and I mean the uncut version told to kids nearly 200 years ago before 20th century parents edited the scary parts out. It's what would happen if Hans Christain Anderson wrote a Tale from the Crypt.
How in the world will the show wrap thing up in four weeks, and will we see the "conclusion" before or after Lost? Or at all?
In honor of ABC Scrooging an interesting show, I paraphrase a classic Christmas song about a green guy who doesn't like Christmas...
You're a mean one, ABC
Pies and Daisies, you should need
Your attitude is so Mickey Mouse
Treating the show like one big weed, ABC-eee
You're just Fox TV--with extra Simon Cowell
I like that pie man, ABC.
His undead gal pal, no longer gone
The gruff P-I, those loopy aunts,
And that pocket-sized blonde, ABC--eee
You're going to dump them for ....According to Jim???
Don't blame the show, ABC
You say the ratings just weren't there.
Maybe you have helped it out
By telling people it's on the air, ABC--eee
You cancelled Pushing Daisies...through selective amnesia
Scrooge is charge of ABC
All it has are Dance and Lost.
And assorted Desperate Housewives.
Is it really worth the cost, ABC--eee?
Or will things get so bad, you'll be wishing for...