The Return of ICWXP: The Return of Rikk Wolf

Three years ago, heavy metal musician and MST3K fan Rikk Wolf decided, with a few friends, to make a little project where he was a zombie-fighting soldier trapped in a movie theatre with two weird looking robots. A mad scientist forces them to watch bad movies, mainly for fun. He admits it's cruel, and sounds vaguely familiar.
It was made into a DVD called Incognito Cinema Warriors XP, and it was sold on MySpace.
Little did he know that he would create an internet sensation, and something that MST fans have been craving for since the Satellite of Love went into TV history.

Now, after two years of weather disasters, technical difficulties, and depression that the Chiefs weren't what they used to be, Rikk is back with a new ICWXP movie. This time, Rikk, Johnny Cylon, Zed the Zombie Head and TopsyBot 5000 face new perils, including the most boring horror movie ever, and a new Big Bad.

Everything about it is new, starting with a live-action version of the old theme, complete with zombies who are looking for brains or a walk-on role in The Walking Dead. Rikk also recorded a new version of the theme, plus other scenes from episodes never shown including an homage to Dragon Ball.
After a sketch that mocks Starbucks, Rikk and the Bots see that Dr. Blackwood, their old nemesis, has been sent off. He's replaced by Special Agent Kincaid (Gregory Wyatt Tinnen), who is so evil he could clearly be Pearl Forrester's male clone. Anywho, he works for the Ludivico Corporation (who probably started this zombie apocalypse because it's so Resident Evil), and he decides to show bad movies more cruelly. He even has an evil smartphone that Pearl would envy.

We start with Ghost Rider, which isn't the Nicholas Cage movie, It's a safety film where a new kid learns about bus safety from a ghost. It's not bad, but it does drive Cylon to sing Jim Croce and TB5K to remark "The dead walk the earth and they want us to read bus safety pamphlets." It also ends with Topsy doing a killer Morgan Freeman.
Then the gang is startled by a famous Lucky Strike ad where cigarettes are square dancing. In fact, we got a lot of callbacks from the short and ad.

The main event: Werewolf in a Girls Dormitory, an 1961 Italian horror movie which is self-explanatory. After very sexy horror flicks like Lady Frankenstein and Bloody Pit of Horror (yes, even that Crimson Executioner guy), we get 87 minutes of droning talk between the characters about blackmail, gossip, funerals and zzzzzzzzzz, etc. We barely get three minutes of werewolf, and it's not even a good one. In fact, it's described as a "were-Michael C. Hall". We're supposed to wonder who the werewolf is: the Peter Lorre caretaker, the teacher who could be a young Frau Blucher, the handsome new teacher, an old guy who's having a near-affair with one of the students, his creepy wife, or maybe whoever came up with this movie. Rick and the gang have to muster all their strength to come up with some good riffs to keep from dozing off.

Some examples:

Opening titles show the "horror" of the monster: "It's the Satan Platypus!"
The new teacher shows up: "I think I'm going to live it here on Wicker Man Island."
Alfred goes home after talking to Mary, the student who's blackmailing him: "He's gonna lay low in Paul Lynde's house for a while."
The caretaker sneaks into the girls' bedroom: "Ben Roethlisberger, your wet dream is here."
When the real werewolf is revealed in a "plot swivel", he then attacks one of the students: "This makes me feel like a teen wolf again."

The host segments include Cylon and Topsy mocking Ghosthunters, with a surprise cameo, Topsy doing something so disturbing it excites Kincaid, and the worst surprise party ever. There's even a callback to the letters segment MST3K did way back when.
It's clearly a triumphant return to form for ICWXP. Sadly, it's also the last movie they're going to attack. They're switching to short subjects that could be even worse than any movie Nicholas Cage is in. But we're left wondering what is Kincaid's deal, where he got that evil smartphone, and whether Dr. Blackwood is gone.

Actually, we get a few clues in the extras: Rikk has a commentary on the host segments, and reveals a few tidbits on what's to come. He also includes a couple of music videos from his band At the Left Hand of God. There's a Q and A session with Rikk, Tinnen and Zach Legler (Cylon). They even answer a question I forgot I ever sent them. I do find out Rikk didn't start this show because he worked at an AMC theater. We also see how the bots were made, and a quick tour of the studio. It's more cramped than Best Brains in its early days, but it shows how damn good humor can spring from humble beginnings.

They have a new website at www.ICWXP.com, where you can get past DVDs, YouTube bits, including the new theme, links to Twitter and Facebook, apparel, and even a hint on what season one will be all about. I'm praying for Robo-Blackwood, personally, or maybe the zombies will make their own TV show about how they battle the hideous threat of the living, and call it The Walking Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnssssss.
Until then, pray for Rikk Wolf, Johnny Cylon, Zed and TopsyBot 5000..and for more adventures to come.
Maybe they can throw in their version of Alice from Resident Evil, or whoever Kate Beckinsale plays in Underworld, who helps them out because she is an even bigger MST3K fan.