Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Rifftrax Unleashes A Rock and Roll Nightmare
Remember Jon-Mikl Thor, the guy who starred in Zombie Nightmare as the zombie who was a nightmare for the rotten teens who killed him in a hit and run? It was one of MST3K's most popular episodes, especially since it included Adam West as a cop with a secret.
Well, the rocker/award-winning bodybuilder/actor made a movie before that called Rock and Roll Nightmare, which Rifftrax described as what would happen if "Motley Crue guest hosted The Muppet Show" except you'd get fake versions of both in a cheesy battle between good and evil.
The movie's original title is "The Edge of Hell", which is clearly where the script the written.
The movie starts with a demon killing a mom and dad getting ready for breakfast. A young boy is upset by this, because who's going to get his cereal?
Many years later, a band called the Tritonz, led by a Vince Neil knock-off named Jon (Mr. Thor as producer, writer and star), goes to the same house where the deaths took place. They bring along their girlfriends, although one guy just got married.
They hope to get ready for their tour and make ten minutes of new material. Safe to say the new music they do make isn't going to concern Metallica anytime soon.
For example, this is what the Rifftrax gang think about "Energy":
Kevin looking at the girlfriends "dance": Dueling Jersey Wife Hair
Mike: Any resemblence to "Rock Me Like A Hurricane" is purely coincidental
Bill: Good job, guys. Even Winger wants to kick your ass now.
The demons are still around, and they plan to knock off the band, probably because they don't like the music but mainly because they're evil. They start with the manager, Paul, when one of them impersonates Lou Anne, the girlfriend of Stig:
Paul takes the bait, and maybe he shouldn't have...
Dee Dee, the keyboardist, and her goofy boyfriend Max spot a little boy who looked like the one in the start of the movie. When he turns into what some call a "were-sharpei"..
Dee Dee and Max are kind of upset...
There's also little demons who look like either male genitalia or those Despicable Me Minions without skin..
Eventually, Jon's girlfriend, Randy, confronts him as if she's some major demon..saying the band is dead, and he can't escape.
Jon isn't worried, because in reality...he's the INTERCESSOR, an Archangel ready to kick demonic butt!
Really, Jon looks like Heather Locklear with too much HGH.
And the band was never really there, which means the sex scenes in this movie, especially the one in the shower, are more disturbing than you think.
Come to think of it, wouldn't it have been better if Jon was the kid whose parents were killed by the demon? Maybe that idea led to Zombie Nightmare.
Believe it or not, Rock and Roll Nightmare had a sequel ten years ago. According to this site, it is as horrible as it sounds. Maybe Rifftrax wants to take this on, too?
Some of the riffs:
Jon-Mikl Thor is in the credits
Kevin: I'm more of a John-Mikl Captain America Fan
Phil kisses a demom, thinking it's Lou Anne
Bill: Pazuzu's daughter is hot
Then there's this photo of Jon:
If that ain't irony, what is?
There's also riffs on Ken Burns, Mad Men, Elaine Stritch, Judith Light, hip dicks and Poison.
By the way, Turner Classic Movies showed Miami Connection, which will be Rifftrax's featured target, er, movie in October. If nothing else, it has the classic line, "No one escapes from the Miami Ninja", which sounds like the name of an Arena Football team.
The movie is about a band called Dragon Sound, whose songs are almost good enough to be in the soundtrack of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Apparently the head of the the band that DS replaced wants to get his job back, and uses some mangy bikers to do that.
Also, the girlfriend of one of the band members has a brother who says she should get a new boyfriend. He's also connected with the ninjas running the drug trade in town. So what does he know?
Y.K. Kim, a taekwondo expert who also made the movie, looks good when he clobbers the evil ninjas and overbearing brother. The script and direction aren't so hot, but it should be interesting what the Rifftrax crew will do to this movie. Here's the trailer to the movie:
For now, people will be waiting for the next Rifftrax event, Sharknado 2, next month. Tickets are still available.