Rifftrax: Jurassic World's A Lame World After All

Rifftrax's Kickstarter program for this year wrapped up over the weekend with its take on Jurassic World, the long-awaited sequel to Jurassic Park.
While the movie had enough nostalgic cred to earn a lot of cash and a sequel in two years, the commentary points out it's still loaded with cliches and callbacks to the original movie.
It's also not as respectful towards women as the original. At least in J-Park, you have a female dinosaur expert played by Laura Dern, and a computer-savvy girl who helps reopen the park while raptors and T-Rexes run amuck.

In Jurassic World, you have one major female character, Claire Dearing, who is corporate and cold and barely knows who her relatives are aside from her sister, She's excited over making new dinosaurs to attract visitors the same way Magic Mountain hopes new roller coasters will do the same thing. The movie goes out of its way to make her look bad, until it realizes a female hero could also be as attractive as hybrid dinosaurs. That's when she suddenly does heroic things yet clings to her high heel shoes (which ain't part of the next movie).
Meanwhile, you have competing forces:  a smooth mad scientist who engineered the new dinos because he boss wanted them, and a guy who hopes to make raptors the future of warfare. In the middle is Owen, the guy who trains the raptors and is supposedly the voice of reason (at least compared to Claire), and her nephews who are there as potential dinosaur chow.
On top of that, there's a film of Jimmy Fallon trying to explain science.

The Rifftrax crew of Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy really go to town on the movie's flaws and callbacks to the past, although its comment on Claire's first scene is a bit unfair. Otherwise, it's a pretty funny riff that's a nice compliment to the riff of Jurassic Park.

Now, a sample of the riffs:

Have Yourself..

A Jurassic Little Christmas

Claire’s upset her assistant Lowrey  is wearing a Jurassic Park shirt

Fine, I’ll wear my “The Village” shirt

Hoskins, the military guy, explains to Owen how using raptors for battle is better than using humans.
Drones weren’t controversial at all, so nobody will mind if we give them fangs.

Owen and Claire waste celluloid with a scene that’s supposed to show how she’s frigid and he's soooooo cooool

Bantersaurus is my least favorite dinosaur.

The Indominus Rex causes general damage

That’s for making your fuel  from the remains of my ancestors

Jimmy Fallon appears in a video the kids see in their gyrosphere

Isn’t there a lake we can drown in?

The T-Rex showdown with the Indominus Rex

Now they do the Lady in the Tramp spaghetti noodle thing, only with human intestines.

There's also riffs on Helen Hunt, Harambe, What’s Happening, Google, Jeff Goldblum, two other movies Rifftrax mocked, C and C Music Factory, and the traditional remark about a restaurant chain. The final riffs actually are the best closing remarks since The Dark Knight.

The riff of Jurassic World is available at rifftrax.com. It's now getting ready for its holiday show featuring their take on Santa Claus Conquers The Martians and the first holiday show from 2009 which features Weird Al Yankovic and a different version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It'll be shown in theaters on December first.