No Retreat, No Surrender: The MST3K Circus Comes to Reno

When Joel Hodgson announced his farewell tour, also known as the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Great Cheesy Movie Circus tour, he planned to make sure a major part of the country saw him and his retirement from mocking bad movies.

He and his crew arrived at the Pioneer Center in Reno this past Monday, which looks like a UFO, before a near sellout crowd. The crowd was literally an all-ages event, from kids like these:

to those who have been with the show, and their successors, like me.

I was among about 20 people who were there for the meet and greet. The usual questions were told, especially how an episode is made and how it began way back in 1988. I even asked if fans wrote their own scripts to movies that might be riffed. Joel seemed to be surprised someone would mock Serenity (the sci-fi version), but I'm glad I didn't mention how I wrote riffs for the 1992 Buffy movie.

I did tell him I actually had a poster from Catalina Caper, the only "comedy" the show ever riffed.

So, here's me with everyone:

and the sign that was outside the theater:

Joel also seemed to be surprised I saw the "feature presentation", No Retreat, No Surrender, which was a movie that tried to be the Karate Kid, Rocky and maybe The Outsiders at the same time and didn't come close. He apparently didn't know Mike Nelson and Rifftrax pounded that movie in 2015.
However, I also discovered the movie had two different cuts. Rifftrax had the longer, but definitely not better, version by adding how the guy who ran the Seattle dojo was also threatened by the mob. The MST version was shorter and a few scenes were re-arranged, but at least it had one scene that explained how Jason knew Kelly, the love interest who was more like a prop.

The plot is about a kid named Jason who wants to be like Bruce Lee. When some mobsters cripple his dad after he refuses to sell out to them, they move to Seattle for a fresh start. He has a friend in RJ, but fails to impress the karate dojo mainly due to some fat kid who can be described as Andy Richter Jr...and not in a good way.
Suddenly, Jason gets help from the ghost of Bruce Lee. Jason becomes better at martial arts, but no one notices.
This is also the debut of Jean Claude Van Damme, who plays an evil martial arts guy named Ivan. He's the guy who cripples Jason's dad for the mob. Of course, Jason and Ivan have their rematch in the big karate competition that's supposed to help the mob take over Seattle.

You can guess the rest.

The host segments were quite different compared to the previous two live tours. The one familiar thing is Joel in a new version of his red jumpsuit, and he sang the theme himself.
Tom Servo and Crow were there, too, while a new version of Gypsy called GPC was more flexible than the original.
There was also Mega-Synthia (Yvonne Freese), whose origin story is interesting, and a gal named Emily Crenshaw (Emily Marsh) who has a jump suit that suggests her future. She briefly took over for Joel in the third segment, and well, she did play a big part in last year's Turkey Day marathon:



If and when a new version of MST3K is made, it looks like she'll take over along with Mega-Synthia. She'd be fine in a new Satellite of Love.
The host segments had their own take on traditional circus acts, with Crow up to his own tricks. They were pretty good, especially with Joel's decision to use "hidden puppeteers" to help the bots do things they've never done before, It was a trip seeing Crow with legs and on a pogo stick.
You can learn more about the cast here, and this page has very good behind the scenes videos, especially on the puppeteers.

As I said before, MST's riffing on the movie is different from the Rifftrax version because they used two different versions of the movie. So, comparing riffs will be a bit tougher. Joel (and Emily) and the bots packed a lot more riffs than Mike and his guys, but they also seemed a lot fresher. So, time for examples:

JCVD shows up with mobsters:

RT: Ivan the Scotsman
MST: Jean Claude Van Mannequin

Jason's dad tries to stand up to them, but his acting is as weak as his resolve:
"I will not join....your organization"
RT:  That's what I keep telling the CVS Extra Care Rewards Program
MST: Boy, if these cheaply painted walls could talk

Scott and his gang try to beat up RJ for no reason because the movie doesn't say why
RT:  Biggest fast feud brawl since Dave Thomas kicked Arthur Treacher's ass at a Wendy's 
parking lot.
MST:  (Scott's too big for RJ to knock down) Nothing moves the Blob

Ghost of Bruce Lee shows up
RT:  A waiter from a Chinese restaurant
MST:  HE'S NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Scott's dad serves beer to a fat drunk
RT:  Darker side of Chris Pratt
MST:  Treat me right. I'm an influencer for Yelp

Ivan comes back in the big karate battle, and this time he's got an entourage
RT:  Flanked by the sales team of a Yugoslavian Guess store
MST:  Los Lobos?

There's also riffs on Pacific Rim, Reno (of course), Joe Don Baker, Game of Thrones, the Oscars (which shows how they retool the show), and the Beverly Hills Cop theme.
At this point of the tour, the crew seems to play this movie more than the other choice, Circus of Horrors. Both movies will be shown in the same area twice in the home stretch in a couple of weeks. If MST comes back, it would be interesting to see their riff on this movie.

Oh, the concession stand in the lobby did some great business, especially t-shirts and MST decals where your laptop can have an MST silhouette. There's even a website where anyone can get swag.

This, however, is not available online:

Good thing the sign has the recipe. That way, anyone close to a BevMo can try their own "Robot Roll Call" while watching the show. At least it's easier to make than a "Killer Shrew". Anyone got ideas on how to make a "StarCrash"or a "Torg-Over"?

The tour continues for another month, with upcoming stops in Colorado, Minneapolis, Atlanta and Texas. Just click mst3klive.com for more info.