In the distinguished history (yes, it is, if it included Mark Hamill and Neil Patrick Harris) of Mystery Science Theater 3000, a handful of movies have been riffed more than twice. They include Manos and two Santa movies.
The latest is The Brain That Wouldn't Die aka the Jan in the Pan story. For years, it was just known as the first movie Mike Nelson had to endure when he was drafted as the second test subject. In the past six months, though, it's been riffed twice. It was re-riffed by Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff from The Mads Are Back last May, then by Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl on Rifftrax a few weeks ago.
Fans know the plot: a surgeon named Bill Cortner thinks he's on the verge of complete transplantation, where a doc can replace any body part. He wants a world of Johnny Longtorsos.
Bill gets in an accident where his fiance Jan gets decapitated. Thanks to his new neck juice, he keeps her head alive in a pan. Then, he scours the town looking for a new body for Jan. She doesn't like that idea, and winds up in connection with a monster locked in another room. It's known as Murray. They plot to stop the doc.
Bill does find a woman who's perfect for his experiment, but the monster stops him and causes a fire somehow. It saves the woman while the doc and Jan die in the fire.
Then it ends with her laughing, and proof the producers should have at least remembered the name of the movie
The MST version is the regular cut with some scenes taken out for time. For the record, it took out a couple of minutes of the evil doc running, and a scene where Jan in the Pan vows to stop him.
The Mads' version removes the strip joint scene, and moves a couple of scenes. Maybe they weren't in the mood to comment on Bill seducing someone into being a jigsaw puzzle. As Mike Nelson said when he saw this, "this is sick".
The Rifftrax version only removes Doris being ogled by a grimy paparazzi at her place. Maybe Bridget and Mary Jo thought the movie was icky enough.
Let's be honest: this movie is a male fantasy. What man wouldn't dream of changing things about his girlfriend, and in this case going too far? I was expecting Bridget and Mary Jo to rip Bill a new one, and turn the movie into Jan in the Pan' revenge. Instead, they approached the movie the same way Mike, Kevin and Bill would. The gals still throw in some strange riffs in the movie, but should have predicted he'd think about building a secret girlfriend.
Let's compare the riffs at key moments...
The accident where Jan loses her head and Bill is thrown from the car
MST: We now join Barefoot in the Park already in process
Mads: That's the actor's best roll
RT: Stop, drop and roll is not for car accidents
We see Jan's head
MST: They saved Sister Bertrille's brain
Mads: Heads you lose
RT: Is It Cake?
Bill checks on the monster he made before Jan
MST: Dylan Thomas' last moments on Earth
Mads: Louis CK is in there and Frank saying Sounds like me after eating beets
RT: Russell Johnson is Winnie the Pooh
Doris shows Bill the scar that ruined her life: "I carry the memory of it permanently"
MST: That's the last time I get into a car with Monty Clift, I'll tell you that
Mads: What, the ear?
RT: It's not even in a cool shape, like Harry Potter's
The monster escapes
MST: Eww, Boo Radley
Mads: It's the Creature of the Shit Lagoon
RT: The swelling will go down and he'll be the Mickey Rourke we all know and love
Some of the riffs for all three versions wound up being similar, like one where Bill realizes he was driving too fast, the Knock Three Times joke when the monster was doing just that to communicate, and the fact Bill had no idea the monster was about to grab him.
Of course, the Mads and MST realized by the laughter at the end it's a comedy...a real dark one, to be sure.
The Rifftrax version still had some odd riffs. When Bill goes to a Body Beautiful contest, Bridget asks Mary Jo "Would you rather have a brain that wouldn't die or a body that won't quit?"
Strangely, Mary Jo prefers both.
That's followed by a strange theory that comes just as Bill enters Doris' apartment. It's connected to the sax tune that's played through half the movie: "What if every time you were going to sin this music came on? You'd never sin."
Sorry, Bridget, too many people would risk living their lives with an annoying soundtrack than avoid sinning. In Trump's case, it would be an off-key version of YMCA.
There were also riffs on public schools, Grey's Anatomy, big cars, New Coke, Lebron James and Harvey Dent.
This is definitely a Rifftrax Essential, and you should get it now on the website. It also shows they should consider having Bridget and Mary Jo host a live show sometime.
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