MST in 3-D: History in the Making, and Season 13 Is Now The Best

 

Back in the 50's, movie studios thought 3-D movies will get people back in theaters and away from that %@#&!! TV set, or at least Bonanza.

It got people interested, but it didn't last. It's still around thanks to Real 3-D, but it's not a common way to see movies.

It's even tougher to pull off on over-the-air or even streaming TV. You need those special red/blue glasses to get the full effect. Usually the movie that's shown is either Robot Monster or Creature From The Black Lagoon. Even Svengoolie tried a 3-D show with Revenge of the Creature in 1982, while the Super Bowl tried something similar in a halftime show in 1989. Then it discovered pop stars. 

Not too long ago, Kinga Forrester went insane! She vowed that she, too, can show a terrible movie in 

3-D, and it will be brilliant. THEY'LL SEE! THEY'LL SEE!
And what do you know....

This is clearly the show's greatest feat, showing the 1961 Canucksplotation film The Mask in 3-D, and doing a fairly good job of it. They not only presented fairly good 3-D effects, but went one step further. More on that later.

The story is about psychiatrist named Alan who is obsessed with an ancient mask that, when worn, doesn't turn you into an annoying version of Jim Carrey. It does show shocking visions (even for 1961) that may reflect the wearer's inner thoughts. In this case, they are very disturbing indeed. They feature a shocking ritual and a dark hellscape. Despite pleas by Alan's fiancee and a bland but still competent detective, Alan is overcome by the mask. He even threatens one of his patients.

The movie itself is on YouTube, and a couple of people have made reviews. Still, MST's new version is clearly the best. If you can, go to gizmonic.com and rent it. It'll be available for purchase by mid-November. Here's some samples. 

The host segments included a way to wear four masks at once, and variations of the Ouija game. After that, Jonah and the bots do some trick or treating, featuring Max and Synthia (who seems to be a Tom Atkins fan). 

There's also a spoof on Monster Mash, where the monsters can't attend the Halloween bash (but might be available at Thanksgiving), and noir therapy.

This, however, is the money shot:  MST making its own 3-D host segment despite low budgets and COVID limitations. IT IS BRILLIANT! It also guarantees it will be around for a while. 

By the way, even the papermations and the "intros" were in 3-D. Here's a picture of that

The post-game show was also fantastic, with the crew with their own costumes By the way, Emily is not Little Orphan Annie going blonde. Not only is it funny, but gives some footage of how they pulled off the 3-D host segment. It better be in the DVD sets next Spring. 
By the way, the Gizmoplex site has the complete episode with post-game show in 2D and 3D. Audio problems reported by the fans have been fine-tuned.

This confirms that season 13 may be the best one ever. Considering it had to show episodes as a boutique streaming service, and make them under COVID limits and a smaller budget, it has done a damn good job. Maybe we'll have to wait a long while for new episodes (like Andor and House of the Dragon), but the wait will be worth it after a season like this.

Now, riff time...

first, a visual riff for baseball fans

                                      
                                                                 Dock Ellis with the pitch...

A guy who apparently wore the mask is about to attack his date
I'm coming to get you,  Barbara

"And did he have any friends or relatives?"
Does a Sailor Moon body pillow count?

Alan unwraps the mask when it's sent to him in a package
Got your mail again, Nicholas Cage

"Do you know Dr. Barnes (Alan)?"
He sang Fish Heads.

In the vision, a man walks wearing a mask
It's Franken-David Byrne

Alan's fiancee tries to reason with him. "Sorry to barge in this way"
I'm a bit of a She-Hulk (when was this riffed?)

There's also riffs on Halloween 3, Jordan Peele, Mars Attacks, 3rd Bass, Whitesnake, and Sherman-Williams. 

Fans won't have to wait long for the next new show. Joel (and Emily's bots) will take on The Bubble, about a strange small town invaded by aliens (we think). All we know is one of the guys from the Mod Squad is in it. It'll be shown on Veteran's Day, or two weeks before the MST High Holy Days.
It's getting close to the end, too, so if there are any secrets that should be revealed (like who is Kabahl REALLY?), we may be close. 

If Only H.G. Wells Saw This Coming...

In 1933, H.G. Wells wrote a book that predicted the future for the next 80 years. It was right about the future from World War II, problems in the Middle East and more. It also discussed how advances in technology could affect the human race and how it can stay human (or if). It lead to an interesting movie three years later....and a terrible one more than forty years after that.

Of course, Mystery Science Theater 3000 had to take on the terrible one. It's The Shape of Things To Come, which was already pummeled by Rifftrax. It was a Canadian attempt to make something that was barely like Star Wars, but a lack of funding, decent acting and real effort made that unlikely. 

Despite this, it extended the show's winning streak of ripping lousy movies a new one. Once again, Emily Marsh shows she is the future of MST3K. The Simulator of Love's version of Crow is getting much better, especially verbally, and that version of Tom Servo is still smooth. Their riffs also get off the rails a bit but wind up being more complex than Jonah's crew. 

A prime example is when Emily is asked what she'd do if she had 45 seconds to live. She says she'd face it with grace, but later admits she'd burn everything down with a flame thrower (which makes sense to the bots).

So, the plot (?):  some budding space dictator named Omos, a role devoured by Jack Palance, wants to take over the Moon after his robots take over Delta 3, the source of a mineral that helps Earthlings live on the Moon (something about ruining the Earth after some robot wars). The only people who can stop him is a Moon Councilman named Caball, his son Jason, his friend Kim and a modified robot named Sparks. They have to steal a spaceship to do it, but that makes it almost like Rogue One, right?

Meanwhile the ex-leader of Delta 3, named Nikki (Carol Lynley), tries to fight Omos off. Sadly, she may have the ideal pant suit but not the weapons. 

Caball and his crew stop off at Earth to fix the ship, and find kids who were victims of the robot war. Then they head to Delta 3, but have to get through a magnetic field that inspires drug jokes and a trip to the Friend Zone for Jason. 

They challenge Omos but it doesn't turn out well...until the least likely person in the cast saves the day. You figure out who. At least Jack gets a defeat that seems slightly embarrassing. 

The host segments were also solid. They have a Friars' Club style roast for Sparks which gets "ruined" by Emily, a podcast devoted to a character from the movie that was seen for five seconds, and an attempt to make the robots able to love. That's risky, because they're worried they'll learn to love the movies. Uh, Roger Corman and Coleman Francis make that impossible. 

The final segments were bizarre, yet interesting. First, Emily and Servo meet Crow-mos, who tries to overpower them with his (or her) long pauses.

   
                                         


Meanwhile, Kinga and Max agree they can rule the universe by doing what Omos tried to do but not screw it up.
OK, but where's their robots? Waverly and Growler won't cut it, as they are investigating the hole in the roof of the Kingadome finally. Say, what if they find some who's not supposed to be there....like Kabahl? Now is the time, right?
     
                                         

Oh, and Max says if they succeed, humans would be obsolete. Isn't that bad?
Well, Kinga says she's not human because "I'm a whole other deal".
Meaning what?  Even she doesn't know.
If she was made from a cell from Clayton Forrester's medical checkup 40 years ago, that would explain a lot. Now is the time for that, too. 

The post-game show discussed the Hobbit, the best puppets, and Jonah wondering if he's was followed to wherever he was broadcasting. Emily also admits she hopes the show will be her ticket to HBO. 
Well, Joel went the other way (HBO to this show) and did fine. 

Now, riff time. We'll compare the MST and Rifftrax versions:

Overhead shot of a smooth part of the Moon
MST:  Moon Pattern Baldness
RT:  That place is just littered with golf balls

Omos:  You mean, what do I really want, Doctor?
MST:  I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
RT:  Please don't say a thorough colonoscopy.

Omos' palace
MST:  Full Metal Jack and the Beanstalk
RT:  Behold the evil of Sauron's down-on-his-luck cousin, Ronron

Omos tries to scare Dr. Caball with a hologram
RT:  And yes, I am currently standing on a Roomba
MST:  Visit scenic Mount Palance

Nikki tries to fight evil robots
MST:  Canadian Public TV presents Seven Brides for Seven Robots
RT:  This is me (Kevin) every time I find a spider in the shower

There's also riffs on EMF, Buck Rogers, eHarmony, Mork and Mindy, Believe It or Not (guess why), Texaco, West Side Story, Baby Shark,  and Marvel movies in general. 

There's also a scene where a robot pushes a button that says "cancel"
Response by Emily:  Meanwhile at Netflix... (Bitter? Sure, they're bitter, but "Meanwhile at HBO Max" also works. 

A new month means a new theme, namely "horror".
The feature movie is Devil Doll on October 14th preceded by a short on the balance beam. Thankfully, it's not as old as you think. 
The main event is the 3D showing of The Mask (pre Jim Carrey) on the 28th. More info at
gizmonic.com

One more thing:  this was the intermission from the show. Just this. Five minutes straight.
Eat your heart out, White Dot.