After 34 Years, Have We Outgrown MST3K? HELL NO! Why the Season 14 Campaign Didn't Work

 

It's done.
The Season 14 Fundraiser hoped to get at least four million dollars for six episodes.
It fell short by one point three million.
So what does it mean?

Combing through Facebook and the MST message board, it's several reasons. Some aren't charmed by the revival. Some are still upset it took so long to get the swag from the Season 13 fundraiser. Some just didn't have the money right now. Some people thought it was about time the Gizmoplex funded itself, but cash from Pluto and Tubi aren't quite enough.

One of the more interesting takes came from the November 21st edition of the True Blue Riffcast, which reviews VODs and other things from Rifftrax. This was taped during the first day of the fundraiser, before the site added a running total. Before they razzed the TV version of Samson and Delilah, the hosts wondered why episodes for season 14 would average 616 to 667 thousand dollars apiece. 

First, let's make it clear the hosts are not fans of the revival, although they gave it a try. That's fine, since there are people who think the real MST lasted until 1999. Others think Doctor Who in the 21st Century isn't as good as the old days. 

Now, some clarity: if the fundraiser did hit four million, it would pay for six movies, six shorts and 18 "improved" classic episodes. So, an episode would have been closer to maybe 500 thousand, followed by maybe 90 thousand for a short and the rest for the classic episodes.

This was also before Joel sent an update which listed how the money was being spent, and revealed plans to go back to physical sets. Also, this was before he came up with some cost-cutting measures to make a new season easier to get.

The True Blue hosts also claim the MST audience is getting older, and that the show isn't as much of a cultural impact as it was in the early days.
Well, the original Mads are picking up a lot of business with its monthly shows, while Rifftrax is going strong. So, people want more of the original source for sarcastic movie opinions. 
It's likely after the fundraiser, the True Blue guys have a better idea of what it's all about. They might still believe new MST3K will never be as good as those episodes from Times Past. 
The Season 14 fundraiser just didn't work due to a perfect storm of bad timing, and let's not forget the SAG-AFTRA strike held back promotion.

So, what can be done?
Joel said this past weekend he isn't giving up. In his latest e-mail, he said "(one) silver lining is that the continued support for this campaign, and the show, may have opened up some new conversations about potential partnerships and fundraising that could be key in getting the show another season." 

So, it could be part fund-raiser with the rest funded by someone. Asking Shout! Factory to cover half the cost could work.
Also, it helps we know what the first six movies will be, including Plan Nine and Battle Beyond the Stars.
If there is a guarantee we'll have Gauntlet II with just those movies, that'll help. Also, instead of six movies in one day, have them run daily over a week. Disney Plus is doing that with the second season of What If...?

Next, how do we handle Gauntlet II? Kinga would recapture Joel, Emily and (maybe) Joel, then impose the ultimate punishment. Yeah, Plan Nine From Outer Space. She'll expect them to be driven to madness, but my guess is they'll express distain but that's it. It could be set up where Jonah suffers through a reel, followed by Emily.
Then, Kinga will wonder why the test cases don't become comatose husks. She and Max take over for Jonah, the two Synthias for Emily. Then they know why.

After that, Joel gets a movie, and Jonah and Emily split the rest.

What about Pearl? Maybe keep her "missing" while she's at Dumb Industries and Rifftrax, then spring her out of the blue when season 15 is approved.

Just try again, maybe in March.

We will have a season 14 somehow.

Time For Fund Another Season of MST3K

 

Last Christmas, we gave MST our heart
But Joel, Emily and Jonah (and Pearl) all ran away
This year, they expect us to pay
For just one more season, season, season.

Just one more? NO WAY!
We'll shut up and keep paying for this, especially if we get value.
OK, of course, they'll all come back somehow like the guy who tried to escape from Squid Game, and it's back to cheesy movies, the worst we can find, etc.
My hopes are that MegaSynthia gets a lot more coherent (like Synthia did), and we find out Cabal is a fraud but points out his ideas did work.
Oh, and he shoves Kinga and Max into the theater for a reel, and turns out they're a little too good at this riffing thing. 

This time, Joel and company will forsake Kickstarter and do it themselves. It started the week before Halloween, and will run until the day after Thanksgiving. It's a good choice of dates. 
As usual, the more people contribute, the more shows they make. The minimum goal is $4.2 million, which means six movies, six shorts and 18 restored episodes. The maximum is $7.4 million which gets 12 movies, 12 shorts and 36 (!) restored episodes. Maybe by then they can come up with a way to keep The Final Sacrifice available to all

Here's a video to explain more:

The perks are also available, especially knit caps, pins and t-shirts. They also have a new company who's better at shipping stuff. They are also offering special perks where your name is included in the credits or you can attend a class in riffing. 

Actually, considering the costs and value of the perks, it's still a good deal. Remember, those who got the full one-year pass got the shows, shorts, and post-movie interviews which were better than the movie. The chance for people who made the next MST targets explain themselves is priceless. Imagine if Hal Warren had to explain his movie.

This show will be 35 years old in a month (although it says that happens next year, but only as a national show. At least it exists!), It deserves to hit middle age.
Please give!
Oh, and here's the link as well. 

It's SO Eighties! Rifftrax Goes RAD

 

It's August, and it's time for another Rifftrax Live show. This time, it looks at a sport that is somehow part of the X Games.

The movie is RAD, made in 1986, and basically No Defeat, No Surrender with bikes. It's about  a paperboy named Cru who rides his BMX bike in really dangerous ways. Still, people want their USA Today. 
Some guys in suits led by Jack Weston come to Cru's town to promote a cool BMX contest and drum up business in the town. He's actually trying to boost his client Bart Taylor, barely portrayed by Bart Connor (yes, the gymnast who did NOT invent Gymkata but got hitched to Nadia Comaneci).

Cru wants to participate, but his mom, who is bitter since her movie career collapsed and got her trapped in this film, insists he work on getting to college.

So, it seems this movie will be about Cru and the hotshot BMX guy...until some hot girl enters the scene. She's played by Lori Loughlin. For some reason she can ride a BMX bike better than anyone. How come SHE's not in the contest? That's a movie.

Anyway, Cru tries to overcome obstacles, like Weston's company changing the rules to keep Cru out, but he gets unexpected help. He also falls for Lori after spending the first act impressing some other girl. You can guess the rest. If only Jean Claude Van Dam could ride a bike.

The movie is typical of the sports-themed movies in the 1980's and it's not THAT bad. Still, if Casablanca isn't safe from Rifftrax, neither is this one. The gang riff a lot about Lori's legal problems and the 80's in general, especially the dancing and fashions. Cru also talked a lot about ass-sliding, which is basically sliding.
They were also impressed Ray Walston got more interesting when Cru gets in trouble with Weston's crew. Ray winds up putting new meaning in the term "talk to the hand". Spicoli would have been stunned. 

What was more surprising that Bill Allen, the star of the movie, was in the Nashville audience. He, unlike Joe Don Baker, could take it. He also had a minor career aside from this movie. In fact, this trivia page from IMDB has some very interesting tidbits about the film.

Before the movie, fans endured two Gumby shorts. They were about a witch who kidnaps them for a very strange reason, and a hidden valley with dinosaurs who are hoping there's a fourth Jurassic World movie. 

OK, riff time:

Cru is in full training costume, including a mask that isn't quite right for fencing
Jason Voorhees' dorkier brother

Lori Loughlin in the credits
She shivved me at the prison shower.

Cru's mom brings in the groceries, played by Talia Shire
(mumbling bitterly) I was in The Godfather

Best way to describe the bike dance Cru and Lori have
Breaking Away and Saturday Night Fever got together, nine months later this movie came out. 

Then they kiss
Kissing, it's like ass-sliding with your mouth

Bart,  the hot-shot BMX biker, tries to look cool
Yeah, my haircut's really terrible.

Lori:  I thought you were a man
Mike:  No, you didn't

There's also riffs on Tilda Swinton, Footloose, Chicago Bears, Happy Days and Tik Tok.

The pre-show slides (with the usual comedy music) were better than usual. One predicted a Hallmark Channel movie called Hack Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and that might work. Saving Christmas via stealing back money another company stole? OK!

The VOD should be available in October or November. Get more riffs at rifftrax.com

The Mads Re-Accuse A MST3K Favorite

 

Every once in a while, The Original Mads (Trace Beaulieu and TV's Frank Conniff) revisit an old experiment from the MST3K days. In each case, the second look is always different. Manos was in 4K, and still looked a little dingy. The Brain That Wouldn't Die didn't have the mad scientist search for a new body and target a stripper. Teenagers from Outer Space had the original open, where someone sees something from a telescope. This is before the alien teens land to turn Earth into a Golden Corral for Gargens.

Just recently, the show took a second look of I Accuse My Parents. This is about a dumb teen named Jimmy with neglective parents. He meets a singer named Kitty at a shoe store and somehow lands into a life of crime thanks to her jealous boyfriend. He runs away and tries to rob a diner. Instead, the owner gives Jimmy a job. Since this is a dumb B movie from nearly 80 years ago, Jimmy gets a happy ending instead of ten to twenty in the hole. 

While the original version from 1993 emphasized how dumb the kid was, despite winning an essay contest, the new version was loaded with jokes about current events. It was like a typical late night TV monologue people can't have anymore because of the GREEDY SONS OF....anyway....
That being said, this version removed two songs from Kitty but added details about why she can't be with Jimmy. The variety of riffs was also impressive, including one about a movie some may have forgotten.

OK, let's compare:

Jimmy is about to accuse his parents, but he wants to admit:

Mads:  I like Barbie more than Oppenheimer
MST:  I'm Esther Rolle

Jimmy goes home:

Mads: It's the set of Really Drunk History
MST:  Mom's invited Joe E. Lewis again

Jimmy kisses Kitty:

MST:  This is one successful shoe salesman.
Mads:  I have to admit this Hunter Biden video is very disturbing

"Are you happy in your work?"
Mads:  Do you sing like Captain Kirk?

Kitty breaks up with Jimmy to "save" him 
"But you'll always be a shoe salesman at 25 a week"
MST:  18 after taxes
Mads:  That's better money than writing for a streaming show. 

Jimmy finally winds up his story

MST:  Maybe they should have sworn him in
Mads:  My point is, I'm white, so the justice system must favor me. 

There's other riffs on Trump, Star Trek thinking a musical episode was a good idea, Walter Brennan, William Burroughs and Shakespeare.
It should be interesting if anyone tries to merge both versions and get the complete movie, even if the riffers get mixed up. 
It's available now at the Dumb Industries website, along with other episodes of The Mads Are Back. Each episode is $11.99, but some are available at a discount.

Welcoming Wrexham in San Diego

 

So what is a fourth-division soccer club from Wales doing in San Diego, and taking the town by storm?
Well, it's the power of a good story...and Emmy-nominated TV.

This blog is about Wrexham playing the under-21 Manchester United squad at Snapdragon Stadium in Mission Valley. While Comic-Con was fun, even with 85% movie-hyping panels thanks to labor strife, this was the OTHER reason why I'm spending a week in San Diego. I filled in some time with a trip to Petco Park which turned out great (free baseball hit during batting practice, but $400 for a jersey? Please.). 

The team's staying at a Marriott near the stadium, and they are enjoying themselves. They'll also take in a baseball game before they wrap up the tour in Philadelphia. For now, they hope to do better than they did against Chelsea.

This is manager Phil Parkinson, who led the team to success in the National League and hopes to do the same in League Two. He's pleased as anyone people have embraced Wrexham, mainly thanks to the FX TV show and the owners, Ron McElhenny and Ryan Reynolds (Ron's in town while Ryan is doing acting stuff overseas...which is OK for now). 

He says the tour has been fun, and the team's stunned by the response. "The positivities is incredible in the way the success of the football club, the profile of the club is raised," he said, "spirits in Wrexham has been greated to be part of that, and long may it continue."

While some soccer reporters think the Red Dragons may win League Two thanks to the 111-point success the year before, he says the team still needs a few players to make it happen. Besides, Notts County almost did what Wrexham had done. He does admit the documentary and the interest it created in Wrexham (famous owners aside) caught him by surprise. Still, what's happened to this Welsh team just south of Liverpool has been a great story. 

It's also led to the team dealing with the new fame, but also staying focused. "The players in particular," he said, "have separated anything they've had to do they've had to do extra commercially with the nitty gritty of playing football in training or in a match day. We always speak to the lads about that. We are constantly in meetings we're mentioning that. We represent Wrexham, a working class town. When you put on a Wrexham shirt, I feel that lads have kept very grounded."

Then comes the game:

This is a very nice field located a few train stops away from a couple of shopping centers. Here's where I got to see it...

Thing is, it was sold as part of the Manchester United tour. The place was flooded with United fans, but there were SOME with Wrexham gear. I'm one of the baggier ones:

There should have been swag from both teams, to be certain. Ryan was in England, but Rob was there for the 3-1 win over those Premier League guys. It was quite the improvement from being clobbered by Chelsea. I think FX should have had a bigger presence within the stadium to plug the new season. Wound up missing out on the Welsh Rarebit.

Still, I managed to get one good picture from the game, which was Wrexham's first goal. 

Another thing that struck me is that MTS light rail got a workout transporting people to the game. Two trains were filled to the brim, maybe a third. It will also get big crowds when concerts, women's soccer and football happen, but it was quite the experience being a sardine.
(By the way, more picture are here.)

It was a great trip, experiencing some good European soccer in San Diego. The World Cup is three years away in the US, and I am still not sure if I can get to SoFi in L-A or Levi's Stadium. I may have to choose between this and Comic-Con. Since I'll be 67, though, maybe I could sit out something that happens more often than a World Cup. I know I can't go during a certain online sale.

So, back to the salt mine...until I try to go to a homecoming like no other.

Finally, a Superhero Makes It Big In Sports

 He did it.

Ryan Reynolds, the black sheep of the MCU (in a good way), lead Wrexham out of the National League (or fifth-tier soccer) and in the Football League Two for the first time since 2008.
Just one question:  when will season two of Welcome to Wrexham start on FX? At least we know they'll play two games in the states in July (and I get to see one of them). 

So, a tribute..

X Games This Ain't! It's Kickstarter Time in Rifftrax

 

While Mystery Science Theater fans wait for news of a 14th season...and their swag from the Kickstarter campaign...Rifftrax has been busy.

Its annual Kickstarter campaign is underway, and this time it's taking on another fad movie. 
It's the 1986 movie, RAD, which ain't. It's about a BMX rider who has to choose between a major competition and preparing for college.
The decision takes seconds.
However, he has to deal with some sneaky guys who keep changing the rules so that their BMX guy gets all the glory.
Any resemblance between this and, say, "No Defeat, No Surrender" is unavoidable. 

The movie features gymnast Bart Conner because he clearly couldn't cut it in Gymkata, Lori Laughlin before Full House and the Big House, Talia Shire as the "go to college" mom, and Ray Walston.

So, should MST3K be worried?
No. Season 14 is coming, in the same way as Rifftrax. 
Will this be funded in record time? Of course. 
UPDATE:  Hit 250K in about eight hours.

The link to the campaign is here, and it'll do as well as last year's Return of Swamp Thing, if not better. 
The real excitement is what stretch goals will be coming through the end of March.  We shall see.