Instead of a really bad movie about zombies, vampires or some creepy guy with a mask, Rifftrax Live's Halloween show takes on the ultimate horror combination...the 80s and cheesy martial arts movies!
The crew of Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy was in top form in Nashville Thursday night when they took on Miami Connection, an indie movie made by taekwondo expert YK Kim. He's not exactly Bruce Lee, but he has this move:
He helped produce a movie about a pop band called "Dragon Sounds", who sing about friendship and being against Ninjas. They have problems with the band that they replaced, and a group of ninjas who also traffic cocaine.
Two of the band members have concerns, too. Jane, the female singer, has a brother named Jeff who doesn't like her choice in boyfriends..
He's also involved with the drug-pushing ninja, though, So his opinion isn't too valuable.
Another member, Jim, is looking for his father who deserted his family. However, he does find Dad...just in time to be stabbed by the ninjas.
So, before we talk more about the movie some more, let's get to the riffs:
The leader of the ninjas has a meeting:
"Where's money"?
Kevin: Cuba Gooding Jr. really wants to know.
Mark (YK Kim) notes that "we are all orhpans"
Mike: My favorive orhpan is Olivor Twast
In another fight, one of the DS guys is challenged by a dorky version of Axl Rose
Bill: He studied under Grandmaster Elaine Benes
The movie has a section where the DS guys show of their taekwondo skills. Mike is not impressed when he describes it as "take some acid and fight the invisible gorillas". Also, during the Dragon Sounds concert, the crew leads the audience in clapping along with the song but not to the beat.
There's also riffs on Power Rangers, The Goonies, John Oates, Lilith Fair, Crystal Pepsi, Human Centipede and Maria Sharapova. Oh, and they came up with a new slogan for Golden Corral, too.
Back to the movie, it actually got a comeback thanks to a re-release thanks to Alamo Drafthouse Films and Turner Classic Movies. This lead to a reunion:
Not only that, Kim didn't really mind that Rifftrax was mocking the movie, Here's the story from the Orlando Sentinel, and the Rifftrax crew acknowledged him watching the show from Orlando. They just asked him not to rip their throats out.
Now there was some horror, though. It was a 1970 Coronet short on measuring things. They had a kid learn about inches, pints and such from a milkman who was, in reality, Measuring Man! We couldn't find a picture of him, but imagine a really geeky Ty Burrell with glasses, wearing a Superman costume and a utility belt with measuring cups, a sparking telescope (?) and a ruler. He'd be more disturbing than Mr. B Natural.
UPDATE: Periscope has a clip from the short. Seeing Measuring Man is a sight to behold. UPDATE 2: It's now available at the Rifftrax site.
Finally, they had a preview of the next movie, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny II. It's just like the original, only this time the story in the middle is Jack and the Beanstalk. The production values are barely above "Fun In Balloonland" but at least the girl who played Thumbelina is back full-size. That'll be coming on December 3rd.
