Saber Raine, Saber Raine: Rifftrax Presents Sci-Fi From Your Mom's Backyard

Casper Van Dien has come....forward...since the Starship Troopers movies, and being a silent bartender and a few other things in Con Man. A couple of years ago, he helped make Star Raiders, which there was hope would have Saber Raine a household name. Sure, it was partially funded by Kickstarter, but he was hoping it would lead to medium-sized things.

Instead, it was found by Rifftrax.

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett were good-natured in their, er, comments when they showed this in their latest live show this past week. It's another of those movies with big dreams but small results. 

As usual, it's the script that's the real problem. We have Saber Raine (which sounds like a song Prince would sing if his career was in the Civil War), a disgraced space captain who's now stranded on some planet. He's apparently known for his saber skills that are used only once, and has guns, too. Everyone else has ray guns, since it's outer space.

Anyway, the main plot is some guy named Sinjin capturing Tyr and Calliope, heirs to the kingdom of Ares. Of course, he wants to take over with the help of ugly bugs. He has that Darth Vader vibe until he unmasks, and tells her the truth about her people...

No, the truth doesn't make her eyes red. She instead wears a face mask Elton John threw away.
From there, Saber, a blond girl named Fade, a guard that looks like either Kevin Smith or Captain Lou Albano, and a snake lady named Crotalus battle the bad guys with cheesy special effects, and try to destroy an evil castle made out of mutated Playmobil parts.

There's also an Aussie guy named Jax who's actually well known as an artist in DC's Green Arrow. Too bad he's described as "Truman Capote's last role".

There's also a saber battle between Calliope and Sabre which is just as terrible as you can get. He even pretends that he might join her if the price is right, and it's not even close to convincing. It's also odd that some promo ads found online imply they'll be allies. Nope.

Also, martial arts legend Cynthia Rothrock makes an appearance late in the movie as a major galactic official. The good news is that she isn't married to Santa Claus, but it would have been better if she kicked someone for old times sake.
Otherwise, it was a BIG snore.  Starcrash was better than this.

Before this, there was a short on telling the truth. It involved three boys tossing rocks at things, including a towel. Too bad they didn't see the window in back of it. The gang pointed out one of the kids in the film had so many freckles he could be Young Rorschach from the Watchkids (get it?).

This is the first time Rifftrax has offered a show that's taped ahead of time, and if you didn't know that, it looks like any other show. There was a report in Indiana someone aired the show too early. So, let's hear it for live shows.

OK, let's get to the riffs:

"Circe, open the channel"
And don't have sex with your brother, Jamie

One of the Ares guards mentions the other one "died as he lived, with honor" to the snake lady, Crotalus.
Cool, I eat flies.

Sinjin unmasks
Hell of a zit!

Evil Calliope: Cavaliers, most likely
They smell like Cleveland

"For 1992, these special effects aren't too bad."
"This was from 18 months ago"

Sinjin tells Calliope she's about to experience a transformation, or recasting...
"What you lose in beauty you will gain in immeasurable power"
What you don't tell your wife before a haircut.

There are also riffs on Seth Green, Dave Attell, Disneyland, a really pale alien who used to be part of MST3K, Chipotle and Fort Worth.

Rifftrax wraps up its season with a second look at The Giant Spider Invasion on August 15th and 20th. It's uncut, so expect more scenes of  men sitting in front of a fire-and-brimstone preacher and thinking about the chicks they're going to almost have sex with, unsexy scenes with scantily clad women,  and Perry Mason's secretary rolling down a hill. Might be an extra "PACKERS" yell, too.

Octamen, Raiders and Spiders, Oh Man! Rifftrax's Kickstarter Campaign Is On!

Just a few days before people wonder who will be praised as the best movies of 2018, Rifftrax has started its seventh annual Kickstarter campaign.
Instead of featuring movies that the average fan has heard of, the live shows will stick to Rifftrax's B-movie roots. Two of them are new to the Riff-verse, and the third is an MST3K favorite.

Each of them has an interesting story.
Coming this April will be Octaman, a really cheesy movie made in Mexico in 1971.
Safe to say this little guy was made by radioactive water or something. It was written by the guy who wrote Creature From the Black Lagoon, and the creature was designed by Rick Baker. The cast features Vic Morrow from The Last Shark and former MGM starlet Pier Angeli.

Then we'll have Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine in June. This was partially funded by Kickstarter two years ago,  and features Casper Van Dien from Starship Troopers and Cynthia Rothrock who is anything but Mrs. Santa Claus here. It's basically Space Mutiny or Starcrash on a budget, in the style of Birdemic.

Finally in August, Mike, Kevin and Bill take on the Giant Spider Invasion. It's just as many of us remembered it about 20 years ago on MST3K: Alan Hale as a sheriff, Barbara Hale being chased by big spiders, and a disturbing part of the Midwest that included guys who claim they spend their time listening to a loud preacher. It's made by the same guy who made Monster-A-Go-Go. This time, the movie will be uncut, and the riffs will include "PACKERS!" but not as often.

The goal of 250 thousand dollars was hit in one day.. The real question is what stretch goals will be offered. Last year, supporters almost got It's A Wonderful Life but did get an extra shorts DVD and mp3's of Ready Player One and Solo. This year, what will be next? It seems Aquaman could be a target, along with Glass, The Predator, and maybe the "Battle of the Bastards" episode from Game of Thrones. Since Bumblebee was a good Transformers movie, it might escape Rifftrax's wrath..or maybe not.

If you're interested in tossing in a few bucks for goodies including VODs of the shows, t-shirts and the like, visit here. The only question is if it breaks last year's record of 501 thousand dollars. If so, maybe it can finally fulfill its original goal: riffing Twilight within an inch of its afterlife.

Rifftrax Summer Starts With Space Mutiny, Take Two

Along with Flag Day, the start of the World Cup and the arrival of Incredibles 2, Rifftrax had to compete with a lot to start its live season with a second look at an MST3K season eight classic, Space Mutiny. It's known for cheesy sets, recycled footage from Battlestar Galactica and a hunky guy with way too many nicknames.

The plot features a crew in a spaceship heading somewhere after traveling for hundreds of years. Some guy who looks like the lead singer from Human League plots to take over the ship. There's a cheesy disco scene, a "sex" scene and lots of people falling over handrails. There's also modern dancers with glowing balls that seem to guide the crew to goodness...or pervy thoughts.

The live version, which was shown from Nashville, wasn't as brutal as the MST3K version, but still pretty good. They took out a lot of jokes that point out how Cameron Mitchell looks like Santa, plus some '90s references like Ed Grimley and Armand Assante. It still emphasizes Lea, the female lead, looks much older and less sexy that she thinks. Of course, the joke's on us: Reb Brown (Dave Ryder/Big McLargehuge/Bob Johnson) wound up marrying Cisse Cameron (Lea)
Also, John Philip Law, who was the swanky thief Diabolik in MST's final episode, wound up as Kalgan, who laughs too much and swallows the scenery whole.

Of course, there's Lieutenant Lemont, who's compared to Melissa Manchester in the MST3K version, and Jeff Lynde and Bob Ross in the Rifftrax version. She's best known for getting killed by Kalgan in one scene, then alive in the next scene. Also, some parts of the ship included brick walls.

The show's big feature is seeing Kevin Murphy in a space mumu, similar to the one worn by Cameron Mitchell. He looks like the leader of a world filled with movie critics.

Lately, Rifftrax has taken second looks at a lot of movies, like Gamera a few weeks ago, and Joe Don Baker's Final Justice a couple of years ago. Again, the crew revised the riffs to fit modern times, but they're not quite as biting as the original.
So, let's compare..

First appearance of Battlestar Galactica footage
RT: Giant Owl Robot eyes, how's it going?
MST:  Outlets in space (and yes, they admitted they missed the fact it was BG footage the first time)

The Valerians "dance"

RT:  We summon you, St. Bonnie Tyler
MST:  It's a Wiccan Tupperware party

Lea "dances" with a hula hoop

RT: (Mike) When I do this, I get tossed out of the public library
MST:  In the future, there is no shame (which is a better riff and more prescient)

Lemont dies, then doesn't

MST:  I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance
RT:  I enjoyed your funeral, Janet

Then the ending where Kalgan doesn't die after all, thinking this will require a sequel

MST:  We don't need more Kalgan
RT:  What the Hell did I just watch?

Naturally, there was a bunch of new nicknames for Ryder, including Luke Rockhold. Dumb, isn't it?

They also got around Lea baring her breasts after she and Ryder make love by blocking it with a CGI Gorilla Gram...which looked more like a Gorilla Pig. Actually, if they cut the "conversation" Lea had with Ryder, we wouldn't have missed anything.

There's also riffs on Rutherford B. Hayes, Beastie Boys, Two Broke Girls and the Fantastic Four.

Before the movie, they had a short based on the HG Wells story, "The Magic Shop". It involved a magician who's slightly flashier than Jack Cassidy and a chubby kid who was easily amused. The crew commented on a poster of Thurston being a mashup of Dracula and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

The live version will be available sometime in the fall as a digital download or DVD, while the original is available at Rifftrax.
The next live show comes in August with"Krull", a cheesy movie that at least features Liam Neeson in "you gotta start somewhere" mode.

By the way, Amazon Prime has added new titles from Rifftrax including Merlin The Return, Terror at Tenkiller (a slasher film that's more lifeless than the victims), Superargo and the Faceless Giants and City of the Dead with Christopher Lee.

Kung-FOOEY! Rifftrax Opens Year With Samurai Cop

If Rifftrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000 has taught us anything, it's that the world's supply of bad movies is more eternal than oil, natural gas or reality shows.

A prime example is Samurai Cop, where a San Diego cop who's an alleged samurai but is more like a Disneyland version of Tarzan battles an evil Japanese gang. He even makes time with a restaurant owner, and is pleased his hair's better than hers.

It's also the first live show for Rifftrax's new season. The riffs are almost exactly like the VOD version, but they edited it twice and actually made it a bit more bearable.
A murder scene that accidentally included a bare breast was taken out, along with a scene where Yamashita (Robert Z'Dar) tried to force a female cop to tell him where Samurai Cop lived. His method? Boiling oil from a frying pan.
These were wise moves because the original version has more sex and maybe a rape scene.  If only they edited out Matt Hatton, who is just terrible as the samurai cop.
But then that's the point.

As a live show, though, it was great, especially for those who never saw the VOD version. I did a couple of days before, and could tell where they changed the riffs. What really made the show enjoyable was the ending theme song that Kevin Murphy made. Fans should stay through the credits for that, and the massive number of people who wore their MST3K revival shirts. Some guy even brought his Tom Servo with the cop's hair.

OK, here's the riffs

Yamashita beheads a possible witness by sneaking into the hospital (and wait'll you see how)

Original:  OK, that guy's head was the first item in our scavenger hunt
Live:  Just get a rear view window, please

"What's an all-American girl like you doing with a geek like this?"
Original:  So racist
Live:  Head-cutting Yakusa bosses, geeks.

Here's a riff I missed the first time:
"I can read eyes"
but that's the only letter I know.

They also added riffs on New Kids on the Block, Road House, and United Airlines.

There was a  short before the main movie called Manners in School. It's about an Our Gang character who is upset with having to skip recess to clean the blackboards. He draws a stick-figure guy, who winds up setting the kid straight even at the threat of being erased.

By the way, they also showed the Netflix MST3K trailer to remind people a new era is coming. Kevin and Bill, though, didn't talk about their return as Bobo and Observer. It would have been great, though.

The next live show will be in June, where they'll look at several cheesy shorts. It will include the Mads along with Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl, and some secret guests. Maybe one of them will be wearing a jump suit.

A New Record For Rifftrax Kickstarter, And The Secret Show IS.....

Well, they almost made it, but George Bailey is still safe.

The annual Kickstarter campaign by Rifftrax collected $430, 620 from more than 8600 backers. That's a new record for both, but some fans were hoping to hit nine thousand backers to get the next Star Wars movie riffed and ten thousand to finally take on It's A Wonderful Life. Considering the holiday movie has been a steady source of riffs from MST3K and Rifftrax over the years, people were really hoping the holiday classic will finally get the treatment. The Last Jedi may wind up being riffed anyway next year if Rogue One is still on the list of possible future riffs, but It's A Wonderful Life will stay a dream target for now.

Still, backers, even those who paid a buck, will get a nice bargain. Everyone will get ten shorts, and riffs on Batman V. Superman (just in time for Wonder Woman), Mothra, and the first episode of Westworld. The BvS riff will involve everyone who has ever riffed, kind of like a 40x4000 meter relay race. Considering how tragically bad this movie is as a missed opportunity (except you, Diana), it could be too much for three people anyway.
Others who gave 75 bucks will get "The Rains of Castamere" from Game of Thrones (now THAT is a challenge to riff) and Final Justice Redux (or the first time a SyFy-era episode of MST3K is re-riffed), while 100 dollar backers will get DVDs of the June live show and the best of the Riffing Housewives, Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl.

The only question is what will be the "target" for the August 17th show. Some Facebook fans have unearthed the name thanks to a movie theater and Fandango jumping the gun. In the special countdown show, the gang hinted it could be Ice Castles and La-La-Land (the latter very unlikely).

Actually, the movie will be.....

Remember when this was once considered a major PBS event? The TARDIS upgrade? Tegan's new look after a year in a stewardess uniform? Seeing a new guy be the original Doctor, #2 in color, and some companions we've never even met?

HOW????

Well, somehow Rifftrax used its connections with Fathom Events and BBC America to pull off this miracle after riffing on the two Peter Cushing movies, where the TARDIS looks like the basement of a Hewlett Packard building.
Not here, though. This must have been in the works for some time, because look where they make the big announcement....



For those who don't remember the story, "The Five Doctors" involves someone on Gallifrey grabbing the Doctor in all of his incarnations. They're all guided into something called "The Death Zone", where they figure out the main bad guy wants something very special from there. Thing is, the Master is not behind this for once, because the Time Lord Council asks for his help.

If you clicked the link, you'd know they had to rewrite the plot because Tom Baker, #4, decided not to be part of it. Technically, he is, thanks to use of footage of the famous unfinished episode, "Shada". The story is actually the first time people have seen certain characters from the show. Back in 1983, the Doctor had been a staple of PBS programming for ten years or so. Showing the episodes before Baker became #4 was still a rare treat for some stations. It was the first time for many to see Jamie and Zoe from the late 1960's or Liz Shaw, the Companion before Jo Grant. It was also a rare chance to see #2, Patrick Troughton, in color. That hadn't happened since "The Three Doctors".

When it was shown, this was considered to be a big deal, and was used as a pledge break feature. It's available on DVD, but in an interesting way. The 2008 DVD version has the original cut plus an upgraded version. As for me, I have the "special edition" and the broadcast version back when KTEH in San Jose was Who Central for me. (Update:  After that KTEH DVD no longer worked because of age, I got a newer version of "Five Doctors" which has lots more extras).

Now, it's going to be mocked  by three old fans.
Couldn't they have mocked "The Gunfughters"? Now THAT episode stunk on ice.
Well, it should be interesting to get Peter Davison's response to all this.

All we can do is quote the Doctor's farewell message to Susan in "Dalek Invasion of Earth" that was used to start the show:  "One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all you beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."
If that's the First Doctor's message to what Rifftrax will do this summer, it's a lot better to what he thinks about his next two forms ("a dandy and a clown").

If nothing else, pulling this off proves Rifftrax has more than earned the right to go after sparkly vampires someday.

Rifftrax Live: Fists of Fury, the Musical

Instead of a really bad movie about zombies, vampires or some creepy guy with a mask, Rifftrax Live's Halloween show takes on the ultimate horror combination...the 80s and cheesy martial arts movies!

The crew of Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy was in top form in Nashville Thursday night when they took on Miami Connection, an indie movie made by taekwondo expert YK Kim. He's not exactly Bruce Lee, but he has this move:

He helped produce a movie about a pop band called "Dragon Sounds", who sing about friendship and being against Ninjas. They have problems with the band that they replaced, and a group of ninjas who also traffic cocaine.

Two of the band members have concerns, too. Jane, the female singer, has a brother named Jeff who doesn't like her choice in boyfriends..

He's also involved with the drug-pushing ninja, though, So his opinion isn't too valuable.

Another member, Jim, is looking for his father who deserted his family. However, he does find Dad...just in time to be stabbed by the ninjas.

So, before we talk more about the movie some more, let's get to the riffs:

The leader of the ninjas has a meeting:

"Where's money"?

Kevin:  Cuba Gooding Jr. really wants to know.

Mark (YK Kim) notes that "we are all orhpans"

Mike:  My favorive orhpan is Olivor Twast

In another fight, one of the DS guys is challenged by a dorky version of Axl Rose

Bill:  He studied under Grandmaster Elaine Benes

The movie has a section where the DS guys show of their taekwondo skills. Mike is not impressed when he describes it as "take some acid and fight the invisible gorillas". Also, during the Dragon Sounds concert, the crew leads the audience in clapping along with the song but not to the beat.

There's also riffs on Power Rangers, The Goonies, John Oates, Lilith Fair, Crystal Pepsi, Human Centipede and Maria Sharapova. Oh, and they came up with a new slogan for Golden Corral, too. 

Back to the movie, it actually got a comeback thanks to a re-release thanks to Alamo Drafthouse Films and Turner Classic Movies. This lead to a reunion:

Not only that, Kim didn't really mind that Rifftrax was mocking the movie, Here's the story from the Orlando Sentinel, and the Rifftrax crew acknowledged him watching the show from Orlando. They just asked him not to rip their throats out.

Now there was some horror, though. It was a 1970 Coronet short on measuring things. They had a kid learn about inches, pints and such from a milkman who was, in reality, Measuring Man! We couldn't find a picture of him, but imagine a really geeky Ty Burrell with glasses, wearing a Superman costume and a utility belt with measuring cups, a sparking telescope (?) and a ruler. He'd be more disturbing than Mr. B Natural.

UPDATE:  Periscope has a clip from the short. Seeing Measuring Man is a sight to behold.
UPDATE 2:  It's now available at the Rifftrax site. 

Finally, they had a preview of the next movie, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny II. It's just like the original, only this time the story in the middle is Jack and the Beanstalk. The production values are barely above "Fun In Balloonland" but at least the girl who played Thumbelina is back full-size. That'll be coming on December 3rd.

Rifftrax Starts The Crappening With The Best Live Show Ever

This is going to be a great year in responding to lousy films...and, despite what some people say, that should not include Avengers: Age of Ultron.

It means this year's Rifftrax Live season, which started Thursday night at Nashville with the classically bad romantic-ish sort-of drama, The Room.

The movie had a special showing a few weeks ago at the Tribeca Film Festival, and saying that it was a highlight of the festival is putting it mildly. It was a smash hit, and it makes you hope one day they can do this at Cannes.

The story, of course, is about Johnny (writer and director Tommy Wiseau) , a "banker" with a mysterious accent (like, is it Croatian, Frenchistan or what?) in love with Lisa (Juliette Danielle). They plan to marry, but she admits she's falling for Mark (Greg Sestero), Johnny's best friend. She's told by her mom she should stick to Johnny, but Lisa doesn't care, not even the fact mom has breast cancer (I think). There's also Denny (Philip Haldiman), a creepy kid who Johnny adopted or something, He hangs around the place a bit too much, and also gets involved in drugs.
The story is just strange. At one point you see Johnny, Denny, Mark and some guy named Mike play football in tuxedos. There's also a bit too much of an effort in reminding us this takes place in San Francisco, even in the middle of a couple of scenes.
It almost makes you feel that you owe Ed Wood, Hal Warren and Coleman Francis an apology. At least their movies had a plot that could be recognized (and that could include Skydivers).

The movie also marks a first for Rifftrax. After using Gorilla Grams to hide Dina Meyer's breasts in Starship Troopers, the Grams stayed home while we saw Lisa's breasts. However, we were distracted by how really uncomfortable the "sex" scenes were, with soundtrack by (according to Mike) Boys II Repulsive Men.
Johnny was also described as "Weird Al as Rambo in UHF", although "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer's Brother In Law" would be more accurate. He also seemed to have a new body part called the "Hip Dick".
When Lisa has her sex scene with Mark on a staircase, Bill Corbett points out that since the movie was made, "70% of homes with spiral staircases have been demolished:"
Then there's the scene where Johnny says, "You're tearing me apart, Lisa", showing Tommy Wiseau for what he is: the Bulgarian zombie version of James Dean.
The best riff came from Kevin Murphy:  "After appearing in The Room, the Golden Gate Bridge jumped off itself."

Then again, here's a couple more:

Lisa complaining how "that bitch is about to control my life"
Mike:  but enough about Martha Stewart

Mark and Johnny head to a coffee shop, and have a very odd order
Bill:  Hot chocolate and a mint tea? You guys headed to Lilith Fair?

It was also pointed out by Mike Nelson that this year is the 100th anniversary of Orson Wells' birth, There is a scene in the movie where Johnny tears Lisa's room apart, just as Kane rips Susan's room apart after she leaves him in Citizen Kane. (Bill: Tommy's trashing the room, much like the critics.) The only thing they have in common is that it ends in a mess. In the case of The Room, it's a mess from start to finish.

In fact, here's some scenes with the original Rifftrax comments. A new riff from the show is coming soon.



There's also riffs on Full House, President Obama, Ryan Leaf, Herbalife (which used to be a riff staple in the MST3K days), Tom Cruise and Robert Durst.

Before the movie, Rifftrax took on the final "At Your Fingertips" short, showing how kids can make lousy boats using styrofoam or old milk cartons. It wrapped up all the lingering plot lines of the previous films, especially the debate of whether corn is grass (for the record, it is).

The most surprising part of the show is what was shown after the credits:



This is from tommywiseau.com, and you can even get the script from the movie with free underwear as a bonus. This is also connected to his sitcom on Hulu Plus, The Neighbors, where he plays more than one role.
However, it won't be as popular as this item. Some backers from Kickstarter got this t-shirt for supporting Rifftrax's season. I just got mine:

The next new show is July 9th, when the gang will take on Sharknado 2. It's basically what happened in the first movie but it's in New York, and baseball bats are used.

UPDATE:  Rifftrax's website has announced Mike, Bill and Kevin will be featured on @midnight, Chris Hardwick's late night show on June 9th. It's the first time Mike and Kevin has been on Comedy Central since MST3K left the channel in 1996, and Bill's first visit.

Can You Support The Crappening? Rifftrax Hopes You Can

Rifftrax has announced its 2015 series, As you can see, it includes two familiar titles, a long-lost martial arts movie, and something that doesn't surprise Sharknado fans at all.

The series will be funded by a Kickstarter campaign. Mike Nelson wants his fans to help raise $75,000 in the next month to pay for the theatrical rights plus production costs to make this happen. The goal was reached after seven hours, but he and his crew hope to raise more to produce a high-quality show. Besides, they're movies that are asking for it
It's also offering some cool rewards. For ten bucks, you can get two new shorts plus a spot on the "thank-you page". For 20, you can get the VOD copy of the Christmas show, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, in February of next year. For 45 bucks, you get Santa plus the October showing of Miami Connection. You can also get special T-shirts, a chance to write a riff for the show, and more.

So, what will make up "The Crappening"? Here's Mike with a video preview:



First off is the notorious Tommy Wiseau movie, The Room on May 6th. It's about a banker who loses his girlfriend to another man. How that story is sort of told is why people have been attracted to this movie. It's already a popular riff at the website, and it's the first time it's being shown live with, er, appropriate commentary.

On July 9th, it's round two for Rifftrax vs. Sharknado. As those who bought the new Rifftrax live show on Sharknado know, it includes a scene from Sharknado 2:  The Second One where sharks attack people at a Mets game...in the snow. Also, the fans use baseball bats to strike back. Sharknado 2 is just like the first only it's in New York, and also has Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer from Anaconda and MTV, Judd Hirsch, snd John Cena as a fireman. There will be a third one, where the sharks apparently decide on a two-pronged attack.

The third movie, coming on October first, is Miami Connection, which could be considered Fists of Fury: Electric Boogaloo. Y.K. Kim, a taekwondo expert, produced and starred in the story of a guy who heads a rock band. His group also trains in taekwondo. They try to fight some local thugs who are selling cocaine, and help their leader reunite with his dad. Kim was hoping his movie would be a hit, when it was released in 1988, but it wasn't. One reviewer from Slant magazine thought it would be perfect for MST3K. The movie was recently re-distributed by Drafthouse Films, and got a second chance at getting noticed by movie fans. Still, here's some clips:



The final movie is a familiar holiday treat for Rifftrax fans, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. This will be shown December 3rd. Santa is stranded somewhere in Florida, and hopes to get his sleigh off the ground with any help available, even if it's a guy in a gorilla suit. He stops to tell the kids the story of Thumbelina, trying to show you shouldn't give up. He's later rescued by an Ice Cream Bunny with a fire engine and a creepy laugh  This version has been riffed before, but the crew found another version with Jack and the Beanstalk. There's no clips on YouTube, but here's something from IMDB. The fact that there's a second version should draw in a lot of interest. It's like finding a sequel to Manos.

Even if the events are now paid for, the Rifftrax crew will come up with stretch goals to offer more rewards. Again, if you'd like to add more bells and whistles to "Rifftrax 2015: The Crappening", visit the Kickstarter page to donate.

Kevin Murphy on Sharknado-Mania and Rifftrax's 2015 Schedule

Rifftrax's first live event of 2014, Sharknado, is now available for video stream or download. It was a big hit in theaters last July, and is likely to be a big hit for those who saw it live, and those who got a second chance this week.

I sent some questions by e-mail to Kevin Murphy about this movie, and what's coming up later this year.

First I asked if he and the rest of the crew were surprised about how popular the Sharknado show has become? He said, "I was surprised and delighted in how many people liked this show, I mean it was nuts."
As for whether they'll take on Sharknado 2, he just said, "We'll see."
Actually, that may be more likely this summer. More details here.

I also asked if he heard from the two stars, Tara Reid and Ian Zierling, he said "I know Ian tweeted about the show, and was a good sport about this." As fans remember, Dina Meyer tweeted about the live riff on Starship Troopers more than a year ago.

Earlier this month, the crew did a live show as part of Sketchfest in San Francisco. "I love doing the Sketchfest shows," he said. "Always a great audience, and we get to work with some of our best show biz friends" (Actually, he may have tried to type "bestest" there). Rifftrax taped the 2013 show, but no word yet on whether this year's show will also be available.

Here's the trailer from the Sharknado show, which is available at the Rifftrax website:

Rifftrax vs. Godzilla '98: The Home Game

It's been two months since Rifftrax took on the 1998 version of Godzilla, or as it was produced, Sleepless in Jurassic Park.

Backers of the Kickstarter project, including me, just got the mp3 version of the riff for the movie. This likely made a lot of people happy, especially those who didn't hear the riff in theaters.

I've already made a review of the live show. Seeing the movie again with the mp3 actually made the movie better. There were a couple of riffs people may not have understood the first time, but it got easier the second time. There were at least a couple of new jokes, but only a few remarks about this year's version. A lot was also made on Emmerich's attempt to mock Siskel and Ebert by making them bungling New York City officials. Nice try, Roland, but rebooting Godzilla from scratch doesn't work out. At least the 2014 version admits its Godzilla probably came from 60 years ago, and the MUTO in that film may have said 'SCOOOOOOOTTTTEEEEERRR"

Here's some more riffs:

early in the credits
Bill Corbett:  Before Michael Bey'd, there was Roland Emmerich

Shot of NYC skylinw with the caption, "The City That Never Sleeps"
Kevin Murphy:  Ah, Las Vegas. Fort Worth?

Fishing Market starts its day
Mike Nelson:  Delivery for some guy named Oswald Cobblepot (makes more sense thanks to Gotham)

Godzilla heads for the fish that Nick the worm guy (Matthew Broderick) laid out for him
Kevin:  Ferris Bueller's second day off not as whimsical as the first

One of the eggs Godzilla laid at Madison Square Garden hatches
Mike:  Biggest disappointment since the Gobbledy Gooker

Audrey decides to broadcast on TV by using "an internet"
Mike:  An internet. Is that where they have the Google?

And of course, Godzilla's two painful cries, "PAAACCCKKKEEERS"  and "SCOOOOTTTEEERRR".

There's also riffs on Game of Thrones, Rodan, The Monkees, Bernie Goetz, Harry Knowles, Dr. Strangelove, Ernie Anastos (mainly for this), 4 Non-Blondes the Knicks, and this year's Godzilla.

The mp3 riff is now available soon at the Rifftrax site. Meanwhile, Rifftrax Live prepares for Anaconda on November 4th and Santa Claus (the 1959 version) on December 4th.

Rifftrax Celebrates the Holidays

Let's be honest. The holidays do not start on the week of Thanksgiving. They start next Friday with Halloween. I've believed this ever since I saw the Grove Shopping Center in L-A finish building Santa's House the day before Halloween. Imagine trick or treaters trying to visit that house.

Now there's a new reason:  Rifftrax will be very busy with some new events, including revisiting another holiday movie.
It also starts next Thursday with its presentation of Anaconda with Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube and Owen Wilson. That event was made possible by its Kickstarter campaign a few months ago after getting funding for riffing the Jurassic Park-Sleepless in Seattle mashup that was the 1998 version of Godzilla. The riff for that, by the way, should be coming next month.
Anyway, the attack, I mean showing, of Anaconda will be presented in several theaters nationwide thanks to Fathom Events. Since the movie is 90 minutes, the show will include a preview of the return of Total Riff-Off, where the gang take on a typical show from the National Geographic channel. It was very popular when it was done on April Fool's Day, and it'll be interesting to see what they'll do when they have two more specials in December. Expect the host of Man vs. Monster being a likely target.

Then in November, it'll observe Thanksgiving with its take on Fun in Balloonland. As I said elsewhere online, it makes "A Visit to Santa" look like The Empire Strikes Back. It starts with a mom reading a bedtime story, which puts her to sleep. Then the kid dreams he's in a world filled with balloon people. Here's a look:



It's basically the worst movie about the Macy's parade, or any other holiday parade.  A guy called the Cinema Snob has his take on this, If Mike can top that review, he is truly the God of Riffing

The big news from its Facebook Q and A event is that the Christmas show on December 4th will feature the 1959 Mexican holiday classic, Santa Claus. That's right, little Lupita, Pitch, and the kid who's left alone on Christmas Eve while his parents go out and drink will all be there. Of course, MST3K fans know the movie when it first aired in 1993. It was later part of the Volume XVI DVD set. What's different is that the gang will likely riff on the whole movie, as they did with Manos, Hands of Fate. When Santa Claus was first riffed, they cut some scenes out, including this one where Lupita dreams about having a doll. Since Pitch set off the dream, it includes evil dancing that wasn't part of the MST version. See if you can riff on this:



Actually, if you use the Canadian Thanksgiving rule, you'd be justified to start seeing holiday specials after November first, including what Rifftrax has to offer.

You can learn more about next week's showing of Anaconda, Total Riff-Off, Santa Claus and more at Rifftrax's updated website. Enjoy!

Rifftrax vs. Godzilla 1998: Bambi's Revenge

That was the one riff they didn't use, but the Rifftrax crew used everything else when they took on the 1998 version of Godzilla Thursday night in Nashville, broadcast in hundred of theaters.

A lot of people wanted to see this big lizard go down for years, especially since it had the bright idea of ripping off Jurassic Park and adding a rom-com plot to the destruction. Judging from the reaction from those who saw the live show, maybe this wasn't the best choice for the Rifftrax guys to make. It's not exactly a bunch of gung-ho teens blasting big bugs, or Tara Reid and that guy from 90210 taking on a deadly storm with teeth. Still, the movie's a lesson that when you remake a classic monster movie, you don't add a lame reboot of When Harry Met Sally.
Still, it seems Rifftrax fans prefer their heroes to take on really bad, and shorter, movies like Yambao or Beast of the Yellow Night. Maybe so, they should continue their Kickstarter projects to take on bigger,yet not better, movies. One day, the dream of targeting Twilight in theaters nationwide will be fulfilled, although Sharknado 2 will likely be done first.

The timing of the crew also seemed to be off. They stumbled on a couple of riffs, but it was a good job anyway.

Now, let's get to some of the riffs.

Matthew Broderick stands in the paw print of Godzilla, and has this shocked look on his face.

My God, I married Sarah Jessica Parker?

An old guy tries to fish in the in the East River...and gets a very big bite.

Ironically, he reels in Rodan, and has to throw him back

Godzilla starts wrecking buildings in the middle of New York

Oh no, we're in Inception. Everybody wake up.

Godzilla chases everyone, stepping on buildings

Godzilla's into parkour. (In fact, the crew marveled at how fit the big lzard looked, compared to the 2014 Godzilla looking a little chunky)

One of the most puzzling things about Broderick in the movie, recalled by a guy from the Rifftrax forum:

Why is everyone acting like he's Channing Tatum?

Audrey, the fake TV reporter, sees a secret tape on Nick's desk

Top Secret. Can we watch that instead?

Mini-Godzillas start hatching at Madison Square Garden, and chase Audrey and her cameraman

The velociraptors from Jurassic Park have acquired a legal team.

Godzilla, who was thought to be dead, emerges from the river after its babies are dead

Oh no, it's King Kong.

and the big guys's final words:  "See you in a forgettable remake in 16 years". Well, at least the remake was worthy of a sequel.

There's also riffs on Game of Thrones, Woody Allen, a pro wrestling idea that never caught on, Dukes of Hazzard, Ladyhawke, Ted Nugent, Dr. Strangelove, The Expendables and Ninja Turtles. There was also a riff when Jean Reno's character opens an elevator at the Garden and just finds spilled popcorn. Mike stumbled on this one, but recovered pretty well.

Before all that, Rifftrax unveiled a new animated intro that will be added to all future releases. The song is pretty good, although it's not exactly like the MST theme. There's also great references from past Rifftrax movies, and even a spaceship we know all too well. Here, take a look:



You can get the intro at the Rifftrax site for 99 cents, and the song at the same price. The song is also available on iTunes.

Next up, the other Kickstarter special on October 30, Anaconda with Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson and Jon Voight. It's basically Moby Hiss, or a crazy guy forcing some people to hunt a really big snake in the Amazon. This was made a year before Godzilla, so expect CGI that's even more lame.

One more thing:  here's my ticket with a nickname for Godzilla that thankfully never caught on in 1998

Riffrax Live: Return of the Night of the Living Dead

The week before Halloween, the Rifftrax gang presented a ghoulish display of one man’s living nightmare….then showed the classic zombie movie, Night of the Living Dead.

A sellout crowd in Nashville, Tennessee and thousands more at theaters across the country enjoyed a night of cinematic horror, punctuated by funny comments. Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett presented an improved print, and also improved sarcasm, of the classic George Romero movie. There were some jokes left over from the original DVD, but they took out the riffs about women, Keith Olbermann, Ron Paul, and the Steelers (since the movie was filmed near Pittsburgh). The new version added jokes about Crocodile Dundee, Game of Thrones, cab drivers who hate to go to Brooklyn, non-alcoholic weddings, Les Miserables, To Kill a Mockingbird, Nancy Grace, Microsoft Zune, Miley Cyrus,  Orville Redenbacher, and Birdemic.

It’s also fun to compare the original DVD  to the live show. Mike starts off with this comment during the long driving scene in  the opening credits: “If they pass a sign that says ‘Valley Lodge’, I’m leaving.” This was followed by…

The first zombie attacks Johnny and Barbara at the cemetery:

DVD: C’mon, lady, ward him off with your giant forehead.

Live: Knock off the fighting. What do you think this is, an Irish wedding?

Ben, the male lead, shows up at the abandoned house surrounded by zombies.

DVD: Apparently the zombies were emanating that weird mosquito noise

Live: Young President Obama, thank God you’re here!

He tries to comfort a stunned Barbara:

DVD: She’s got gonna sing, is she?

Live: Lars and the Real Girl had more chemistry. (TV’s Frank would be so proud)

A naked female zombie is seen from the back

DVD: How come every time a naked chick shows up at your doorstep she’s either a zombie or she just escaped from some lunatic’s basement?

Live: She’s not a zombie. She just likes to par-tay! (No gorilla grams, either)

The Coopers are in the basement, thinking they're safe, but Tom, who's upstairs, says he and Ben found a TV.

DVD:  You're still not allowed to come up. Just wanted to tell ya
Live:  We can watch The Walking Dead. (that was the most inevitable joke that night)

Tom asks Judy why she always has a smile for him

DVD:  I like marshmallows.
Live:  Dianetics

While the riffers are glad the zombies are not Instagramming the human remains they’re eating, they see a zombie enjoying an arm too much

DVD: It isn’t disgusting enough to eat corpses, now they went and got KFC.

Live: Tori Amos has gone feral.

The most tragic line of the show occurred when we see Helen Cooper dead after her zombie daughter Karen stabbed her:

DVD: Finds a spotlight as she’s dying. That’s true show biz spirit, folks.

Live: She’s been spade (or spayed). This got Bill fired for ten seconds.

Once this show is available on VOD, it’s certain to replace the DVD version as the definitive riff on this classic movie.

Before that, fans saw true horror in a new “Norman Krasner” short where he is told by his boss to write a speech and presentation with hardly any time to prepare. Just like the other shorts, everything goes wrong. The cleaning lady vacuums some of the slides then pours coffee on his notes. It ends, quite appropriately, with a sprinkler system pouring water on Norman just as his speech collapses in a pile of failure. These shorts were supposed to teach business people how to prepare for the unexpected, but with so many things going wrong for Norman, the moral seems to be, “we’re doomed, so why bother?” There’s jokes about Transformers 3 and Eeyore, while Norman is left asking the question, “Where the Hell is my dignity?”

It was also announced the first “Norman Krasner” short, which was given to certain backers of the Kickstarter project, will be available to everyone next month. I’ve seen it already, and have this review. It’s black and white and also a horror story.

Rifftrax had its traditional 30-minute “fun facts” show, including haikus, costume ideas like dressing as a Native American dressing as Johnny Depp, and the next great horror flick title: Freddy vs. Jason vs. Milo and Otis.

The winners of a caption contest were also announced. This is the picture…

My entry was: “They’re not only saying Grace, they’re eating her, too.”

It couldn’t compare to the winner, “Steve, the other white meat.”. Second place went to “Subway: Eat Flesh”, which I think should have won.

After Halloween, preparations for Christmas start almost immediately. Rifftrax will be ready on December 5^th to take on, yet again, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. If it can re-riff Manos and Mr. B Natural, Santa on Mars, not to mention Droppo and Tor the Robot, aren’t safe either. 

One more thing: the closing credits included the names of people who donated at least $125 to the Kickstarter campaign. They were supposed to be included  after the Starship Troopers show last August.

One of those names: someone claiming to be Faith Lehane. According to the "Thanks" page, she's listed as "Faith L.", but the credits had her last name, too. It might be her, but you'd also expect Buffy to drop a few dollars to Rifftrax.

Maybe Rifftrax’s next Kickstarter event should be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the movie….and Nick Brendon is invited to help out. Just an idea.