Rifftrax Provides Debate Relief With Starship Troopers Online Show

This group of citizens are just as happy as those who chose Rifftrax's online presentation of Starship Troopers instead of the political cage match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden in Cleveland Tuesday night.
If the bugs from that movie also were part of the debate, they would've won based on their coronavirus plan and support for Medicare For All. They'd be too smart to eat Trump.

Anyway, the third attempt by Rifftrax to show a movie via Scener was the best attempt of all when Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy figured out if they turned off their cameras but left their mikes on to riff, it would be a smooth show. 
It was. Fathom Events may have something to worry about now.
The only problem was that the pre-game show was 45 minutes late because of problems getting Scener off the ground. Considering the show started 15 minutes after the debate started, it may have been the alternative people were looking for.

Otherwise, it was a great show. Anyone who's seen the Mads' online shows would have been happy with this show. It was just like the live show seven years ago except no gorillagrams were there to cover Diz's bare chest...or hide Carmen's face trying to look smart.

The movie, of course, is a "war movie" where young teens from the Beverly Hills section of Buenos Aires become "citizens" fighting big bugs from outer space. It's supposed to be satire, and could have been with better actors.
Just remember one thing, whatever Jake Busey was in that movie, he outgrew it and became better looking by Stranger Things (yes, he's in season three). 

The riffs are about the same as the mp3, with some updates, like Denise Richards as Carmen flying a ship while thinking "I'm going to be a Real Housewife".
Surprisingly, no Trump or coronavirus jokes, but there were these...

"Rico"
Polo

Diz asks Rico why they never got together
Well, crucifying a squirrel on my front yard...(actually she was way sexier than Carmen)

"I'm going for federal service"
I'm going to be a mailman

Carmen is in a Dear John letter to Rico (which winds up not being that)
Let me tell you about the Flex Belt
and of course, Rico's sad
Just like my childhood letter to Captain Kangaroo

"We thought we were smarter than the bugs"
Just like Elmer thought he was smarter than Bugs

Diz and Rico have sex
Now call me Saber Raine
She later dies in battle
Give my hair to Felicity (or is it Zorii Bliss?)

Then Carmen and Zander meet the Big Bug
Van Morrison has not aged well (maybe the only coronavirus joke after all)

There were also riffs on How I Met Your Mother, Pretty in Pink, United Airlines, Chris Farley, Twitter and Albert Knobbs. Again, though, the riff from the Scener show is about the same as the mp3.
You can get the riff at the Rifftrax site.
Next up, coronavirus pandemic pending, people can see a VOD Halloween show on three weeks in theaters. The movie is Jack-O, and it's about a scarecrow that kills people.
It also includes Rifftrax staples John Carradine and Cameron Mitchell....sort of.
Some of the gore is also taken out to make it PG-13, but there will be a horrifying short. The event will be a regular VOD about two months later.

Saber Raine, Saber Raine: Rifftrax Presents Sci-Fi From Your Mom's Backyard

Casper Van Dien has come....forward...since the Starship Troopers movies, and being a silent bartender and a few other things in Con Man. A couple of years ago, he helped make Star Raiders, which there was hope would have Saber Raine a household name. Sure, it was partially funded by Kickstarter, but he was hoping it would lead to medium-sized things.

Instead, it was found by Rifftrax.

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett were good-natured in their, er, comments when they showed this in their latest live show this past week. It's another of those movies with big dreams but small results. 

As usual, it's the script that's the real problem. We have Saber Raine (which sounds like a song Prince would sing if his career was in the Civil War), a disgraced space captain who's now stranded on some planet. He's apparently known for his saber skills that are used only once, and has guns, too. Everyone else has ray guns, since it's outer space.

Anyway, the main plot is some guy named Sinjin capturing Tyr and Calliope, heirs to the kingdom of Ares. Of course, he wants to take over with the help of ugly bugs. He has that Darth Vader vibe until he unmasks, and tells her the truth about her people...

No, the truth doesn't make her eyes red. She instead wears a face mask Elton John threw away.
From there, Saber, a blond girl named Fade, a guard that looks like either Kevin Smith or Captain Lou Albano, and a snake lady named Crotalus battle the bad guys with cheesy special effects, and try to destroy an evil castle made out of mutated Playmobil parts.

There's also an Aussie guy named Jax who's actually well known as an artist in DC's Green Arrow. Too bad he's described as "Truman Capote's last role".

There's also a saber battle between Calliope and Sabre which is just as terrible as you can get. He even pretends that he might join her if the price is right, and it's not even close to convincing. It's also odd that some promo ads found online imply they'll be allies. Nope.

Also, martial arts legend Cynthia Rothrock makes an appearance late in the movie as a major galactic official. The good news is that she isn't married to Santa Claus, but it would have been better if she kicked someone for old times sake.
Otherwise, it was a BIG snore.  Starcrash was better than this.

Before this, there was a short on telling the truth. It involved three boys tossing rocks at things, including a towel. Too bad they didn't see the window in back of it. The gang pointed out one of the kids in the film had so many freckles he could be Young Rorschach from the Watchkids (get it?).

This is the first time Rifftrax has offered a show that's taped ahead of time, and if you didn't know that, it looks like any other show. There was a report in Indiana someone aired the show too early. So, let's hear it for live shows.

OK, let's get to the riffs:

"Circe, open the channel"
And don't have sex with your brother, Jamie

One of the Ares guards mentions the other one "died as he lived, with honor" to the snake lady, Crotalus.
Cool, I eat flies.

Sinjin unmasks
Hell of a zit!

Evil Calliope: Cavaliers, most likely
They smell like Cleveland

"For 1992, these special effects aren't too bad."
"This was from 18 months ago"

Sinjin tells Calliope she's about to experience a transformation, or recasting...
"What you lose in beauty you will gain in immeasurable power"
What you don't tell your wife before a haircut.

There are also riffs on Seth Green, Dave Attell, Disneyland, a really pale alien who used to be part of MST3K, Chipotle and Fort Worth.

Rifftrax wraps up its season with a second look at The Giant Spider Invasion on August 15th and 20th. It's uncut, so expect more scenes of  men sitting in front of a fire-and-brimstone preacher and thinking about the chicks they're going to almost have sex with, unsexy scenes with scantily clad women,  and Perry Mason's secretary rolling down a hill. Might be an extra "PACKERS" yell, too.

Rifftrax vs. Starship Troopers, Part 2

In a perfect world, Rifftrax fans would be paying $14.95 for the VOD of Rifftrax Live taking on the cheesiest sci-fi war movie ever, Starship Troopers.

However, Sony Pictures didn't see it that way in this imperfect world. So, the mp3 was just released, which means people have to go get the Starship Troopers DVD, and have the Rifftrax Live experience at home.

The mp3 is virtually the same as the live riff  last August. My review of the original live show is here, including the riffs. There may be some additions here and there, or maybe some riffs I missed the first time around.
So, here's some extra highlights:

The heroes are at a high school prom, just before they go to war:

This is like The Deerhunter with perky kids.

A PSA asks "Are you psychic?"

Ricky Gervais, Hindu God

The notorious shower scene, where you get a good look at Dina Meyer's breasts, but....

Don't show (Jake) Busey's little busey

Johnny Rico is whipped for a fatal accident during training

My name is Douche Douche-tay (a reference to Roots)

The soldiers are surrounded by a lot of bugs. We see Lt. Jean Rasczak (Michael Ironside), who has one arm, in the middle of it all

The Hell with this. I'm gonna drum for Def Leppard

The finale, where Neil Patrick Harris approaches the "Brain Bug":

Really, bug? A whole movie about going to White Castle? 

The riffs also take on Captain Kangaroo, American Apparel ads, Caddyshack, Albert Knobbs, Scanners, Katy Perry and Double Dare. I also learned two things about Denise Richards, who plays Carmen: she has the most blank face I have ever seen, and when she wears her hair in a bun, she'd be Justin Bieber's identical twin.
Also, here's a link to a new trailer to the Starship Troopers riff

I'm looking forward to an updated riff of Night of the Living Dead in theaters on the 24th, which is six days before Mike Nelson's 20th anniversary of his first MST3K episode as host. While Rifftrax has released a great mix of pre-riffed cheesy movies, it should go back to its bread and butter: skinning disappointing recent movies alive. It should be mocking Star Trek: Into Darkness, Oblivion and obviously The Lone Ranger by now. Let's hope their day of reckoning will arrive.

Rifftrax Live: Best Big Bug Hunt Ever

I was a huge fan of MST3K. It is an honor - I hope I still feel that way after!
--Casper Van Dien in an interview from Miami New Times. 

We were all hoping that nearly 265 thousand dollars to Kickstarter would be enough for Rifftrax to achieve its ultimate triumph: riffing Twilight within an inch of its after-life

Instead, we wound up with Starship Troopers, the cheesiest outer space war film ever. Where else will you see Neil Patrick Harris packing heat, Gary Busey's son as a six-foot golf tee with a big gun, Casper Van Dien as a leader of men, or Denise Richards showing less than one percent more credibility as a fighter pilot than as a nuclear scientist in The World Is Not Enough?

Recounting the plot isn't important, but the fact the Riffers Three--Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy--packed in two hours of snide remarks for fans in Nashville, and thousands more in theaters in North America. Getting a A-level science fiction movie to riff for a live show was a milestone for the series. Although some still wish that sparkly vampires and hunky werewolves were the target rather than jingoism and killing big bugs with way too many bullets, this was still a big success. 

They wanted to somehow keep the show at PG-13 despite that infamous shower scene full of male and female flesh. So, Kevin chose that time to bring in Gorilla Grams to keep the cameras off the R-rated screen. He did this again when Van Dien had his love scene with Dina Meyer (yes, from Birds of Prey and the Saw series), but we still got a quick peek at her chest. This was a real buzzkill that reminded some of that pesky flying blimp that covered up the best parts of Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks (namely topless babes), as done by Cinematic Titanic.
On the other hand, this may make the mp3 riff of the movie more popular, since it's bound to include play-by-play of the shower scene. 

Let's get to some examples:

The logo of the "Federal Network" is shown
PBS finally got too much power

Dizzy (Dina) meets Zander (Patrick Muldoon) at a high school prom, before they fight the bugs
Hi, I'm discount Rob Lowe

Rico makes a big mistake at training that kills a soldier, and is sentenced to ten lashes
Gymnastics got dark in the future

Rico rides a very big tanker bug, and some icky orange stuff oozes out
Partially digested Chester Cheetah

The soldiers retreat after the bugs surround them
David Cronenberg presents A Bug's Life

and this classic line, given by Lt. Pasczak (Michael Ironside), when he appoints Rico Corporal:
"I need a corporal. You're it, until you're dead or I find someone better."

Mike calls this line his wedding vows, and Jay Leno's motto.

They also packed in riffs on Weekend at Bernie's, Beverly Hills 90210, Raid, voting in Chicago, Grown-Ups II, Transformers III, Arena Football, Charlie Sheen, Johnny Depp, Doctor Who, AT&T cell phone service, Kafka, Cougar Town, the TSA, Robert Byrd, Ted Nugent, Ricky Gervais, and political debate shows like "Ugly Guy and Old Broad". 
Some may have noticed that Dean Norris was also in this movie. Naturally, they included riffs on his two shows, Breaking Bad and Under the Dome. 

At least Meyer isn't mad. From her Twitter (@DinaMeyer): 
      

Thanks for the gorillagrams! @rifftrax #hilarious #starshiptroopers http://instagram.com/p/dD9jwlD4Nl/

It's too bad this will never be available for digital download, but watching the DVD while hearing the mp3 Rifftrax will be more than worth it, especially for the shower scene. Some did complain they couldn't see the movie because of work or other reasons, and were hoping to get that digital version. That's why announcing that it'll be shown again September 12th was a good idea. It gives people a second chance, while others will want to see this again. 

Afterwards, Rifftrax will riff on the original Night of the Living Dead on October 24th. A DVD of the black and white version is already available, but the preview shows a clip that is colorized. Rifftrax did tweet me back that they'll show a better black and white print, not colorized. Of course, they'll have to deal with a brief shot of a naked female zombie. Hope they still have the phone number for Gorilla Grams. 

One more thing: the pre-show slides were funny as usual. They're much better than the "First Look" infomercials that run before the movie.  Who else would have this anagram...REFTA TRAHE...and rearrange it to spell out "Hollywood Nepotism"? You also learn Troop Beverly Hills could be renamed Starship Troopers if you replaced Shelley Long with a bunch of spaceships (or maybe have Craig T. Nelson fill Michael Ironside's role). They also got in a few digs on Man of Steel, Game of Thrones, how Breaking Bad will end, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, and the fact that movies that make more cash overseas than in the US are more important these days. It also proposed combining rock and roll with zombies and create...World War ZZ Top. 
And no one thought of this sooner?