Surf's...uh Shorts Up As Rifftrax Live Does Summer

It wasn't exactly a Catalina Caper, but Rifftrax Live had some fun under the sun (or at least indoors) by riffing on a new set of shorts this past week in Nashville, TN,

It wasn't quite as star-studded as last June's reunion, but at least the original Mads (Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff) came. Also Paul F. Tompkins showed up as the ultimate Boatnik and the Real Housewives of Rifftrax, Bridget Nelson and Mary Jo Pehl (with really short hair), also made it.
As far as the subject matter, the shorts attempt to educate, but in weird ways. "Sentinels for Security", for example, starts with the Armed Forces, a cop and a fireman outside a house, hoping to protect the homeowner from himself. That's followed by people hurting themselves and blowing up their homes.

Then there's "Ricky Raccoon Shows The Day", where a family who just bought a house learns a really big bear-like raccoon is included.

He then gives lessons in traffic safety that even make mom and dad dance. Sometimes he pops in and out in strange places. The Rifftraxers can only say "This new It movie is terrifying".
For the record, I'll choose one riff from each of the shorts.

Anyway, the Mads look at Office Etiquette, where a young girl has her first office job. A lot of their comments were at how the job could be a drudge, but were stunned to see a female worker snacking while working: "What is this job doing to you? That's an eraser."

Then came the short of the night: "Rhythmic Ball Skills". It features kids dropping and catching balls sitting, standing, spinning and even under the leg. It's the exercise version of Setting Up A Room.

Or, as Bill put it, "After this, Michelle Obama came out in favor of childhood obesity." At least "Perc! Pop! Sprinkle!" was about something and had better music.

Mary Jo and Bridget took on "The Griper", one of those Centron shorts that Josh Way usually mocks. It's about a conscience who complains about a teen who really complains. Of course, he learned it from his family. It's rather odd this grumpy teen literally affects everything in his high school, or a literal Girl Next Door tries to set him straight. The girls have some bright and snarky comments about the teen, especially when he ruins English class by preventing everyone from acting out scenes from Hedwig and the Angry Inch (according to them).

That was followed by "A Touch of Magic" that features the return of Nuveena and the Weird Masked Guy from "Design for Dreaming." Of course, it's a General Motors short plugging their new cars for 1961. The cars move forward on a carpet of white balloons, or as Paul puts it, "Time to take out our shown enemy, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.". The couple also have a housewarming party with invisible guests, and load the Frigidaire dishwasher by throwing dishes at it. Weird,

The final short, "The Baggs," was the strangest of all.

It's what would happen if Santa Claus turned into a junk collector, and he picks up two burlap bags that come to life, run around, and finally rows away into the sunset. Best riff: "The two dancers inside the bag are nude, and one of them is Lena Dunham." If you listen real close, they seem to diss a show that ran for nine seasons but later found its way to Netflix. Sound familiar?

There was also a clip reel of the best moments from all 300+ shorts. Naturally shorts like "Shake Hands With Danger" and "Mr. B Natural" were included, along with Norman Krasner's Living Hell. Too bad they left out "Live and Learn", "Drugs Are Like That" and "Measuring Man", but they should be seen to be believed.

It was a fine evening of weird shorts, and a nice set-up to the big summer event, "The Five Doctors", coming in August. So far, we know from Nerdist the old Cybermen costumes were Jiffy Pop with legs. That might be considered "mercy".

Rifftrax at the SF Sketchfest or the Dress Rehearsal to the MST3K Reunion

Suffering for me, fun for you--Rifftrax's new slogan (thanks, Kevin)

In two months, thousands of fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 will gather at theaters near them to see history being made: Mike Nelson joining Joel Hodgson and Jonah Ray mocking bad movies in the ultimate passing of the torch. Not only that, most of the MST alumni will be there...and maybe two people that represent the future (fingers still crossed).

What will it be like to see up to ten people riffing at once? Actually, those who attended the San Francisco Sketchfest already got a good idea three months ago when Rifftrax had its annual Night of the Shorts. The event was released for streaming this week.

While it's the longest VOD offering Rifftrax has ever offered at just over two hours, the show only features seven shorts. Actually, one short is several depressing scenes from a marriage in Canada, and another is part of a 1949 serial with Batman and Robin. It was a chance to mock a superhero that was expected to make a big splash in the movies two months later. He wound up making something else, but that's another rant.

Actually, the selection of shorts is a very good sample of the kinds of shorts that Rifftrax offers on its website. The Trouble With Women and One Got Fat are from the first two DVD collections, while Dining Together was a Thanksgiving offering from last year that would really fit well (?) with Fun in Balloonland. It's too bad the narrator for Dining Together is more stiff than the voice of IBM's Watson. The drunk narrator from Balloonland would have been better.

The short that got the most attention was David and Hazel, a Canadian feature that shows how important it is to communicate. It's about a husband who stops at nothing to avoid talking to his wife, even when he's worried he'll lose his job in a merger. He gets upset when his wife serves roast beef ("What do you think we are, millionaires?", a line that generated lots of riffs), but can't talk to his son (although it could be that he was born with lockjaw). This was shown in two parts, with Mary Jo Pehl and Bridget Nelson riffing on part one (and showing what "great pals" they are) and Janet Varney and Cole Stratton taking on part two. It's safe to say this short was more tedious and depressing than Setting Up A Room in last year's Sketchfest.
They also mentioned Kevin and Bill made their own version of the last scene:



A short on improving pronunciation is "disguised" as a TV show with teens talking about stuff in a groovy way. The host explains how some teens are smudgers and grunters, which doesn't sound as cool as being a Rocker or a Mod. One of the riffers describes it as "Sesame Street if the Muppets were weirder looking". The fact the host uses the teens' mispronounced words against them doesn't help, either.

The real test, though, was bringing all the riffers back to take on chapter three of the Batman and Robin serial, "Robin's Wild Ride". Apparently that took place when their villain, the Wizard, hijacked their car by remote control.

Usually I single out some riffs, and this will be no exception. The live riffs for Trouble With Women and One Got Fat weren't changed that much compared to the original. However, Bill got in a "Gamergate" riff for the first, and an Eminem riff on the other.
Here's a couple from Dining Together, recreating way too many typical holiday dinners:
It's like chewing a piece of grandma
Daddy says you're easy. What does that mean?

On David and Hazel, he explains how he keeps his wife in the dark about his problems:
Just gotta keep her heavily sedated.
Or how he deals with his son having to choose between his paper route and the track team:
"Who do you think is going to help you make up your own mind when you're a man?"
Mommy?
There's also riffs on Glenn Miller, Requiem For A Dream and Cheers.

As for the Batman and Robin short, let's start with them puzzled that there are opening credits in front of them:
Holy Typography!
The DVD gets stalled in the middle, leaving the cast lost on what to do next.
"Somebody kick the DVD. Still faster than David and Hazel". Janet does volunteer to be a jury, but Cole says they're Two Angry Men short.
The best riff was when the Wizard's men hijacked a truck by pretending to have car trouble.
Why is the engine wearing a little gangster hat? Ah, gangsters!
There's also riffs on James Franco, Thomas the Tank Engine and Spencer's Gifts.

Aside from the stalled DVD, the riffing for the last short was pretty smooth. It's a great dress rehearsal for what's coming June 28th. The Sketchfest is available here, and the Rifftrax website has more shorts and movies available.
Also a reminder, the live riffing for Time Chasers is coming May 5th, about the same time some superhero movie gets an early premiere. Well, the heck with costumed guys who can't get along. They'll have to wait while we see if time travel is possible with a Commodore 64. Tickets for Time Chasers are available at the Fathom Events website.

Rifftrax's New and Improved Sketchfest Video

A couple of years ago, Rifftrax presented a video of its live show from the San Francisco Sketchfest, where they mock several terrible education videos. It looked a little underlit, and you couldn't hear the audience laughing. It still had some great guests including Kristen Schaal (now with Last Man on Earth but is also one of Jake's kids from Adventure Time), Adam Savage from Mythbusters and Kevin MacDonald from Kids in the Hall. 

Now, it's released "Night of the Shorts 5:  A Good Day To Riff Hard", which took place last month at Sketchfest. That means some of the riffs are piping hot. They take a look at six shorts, already available at the Rifftrax site. It just has the added kick of live reactions from the audience. The production is also fancier. There's real opening credits, and they'd added scenes of the riffers doing their thing along with audience reactions. The lighting is better, too.

It starts with "One Turkey, Two Turkey", where kids learn to count to ten by seeing lots of turkeys while hearing a song that Schoolhouse Rock would never use, That's followed by the first half of "Setting Up a Room", with Sketchfest founders, and Rifftrax riffers, Cole Stratton and Janet Varney. This film shows two teachers taking a looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg time preparing a room for a kindergarden class. It's more tedious than Lost Continent and Hercules Against the Moon Men combined. Kevin Murphy does point out that it's better than "setting up The Room".

The third short is "Writing Better Social Letters", harking back to a time where people had to send thank-you letters to friends and family, and actually use prehistoric things like a pencil and an envelope. It's also a Coronet film, so that explains a lot. Todd Barry helps out here. That's followed by the short of the night, "Live and Learn", where kids from the 1950's do incredibly stupid things that send them to the hospital. It also has lame special effects, where they try to recreate the scene of a kid falling off a cliff. How it's handled makes Bill Corbett complain about how a "perfectly good mannequin" is ruined.

Comic John Hodgman joins the crew (after barely avoiding injury) to riff on "Making Sense With Sentences", another Coronet film that tries to teach kids grammar through a fictitious island and a guy who's a cross of Ed Wynn and John C. Reilly. Sadly, using confusing riddles and plush elephants that move by themselves isn't that effective. It had a monkey who just sits there in the background. If it had a bigger role, it could have been a better short. Then Paul F. Tompkins, dressed like a snappy-looking test pattern, helps out with "Safety: In Danger, Out of Doors" Safety Woman, aka Guardiana not of the Galaxy, is back to give safety lessons to more kids dumber than the ones in "Live and Learn." She uses powers given to her by chipmunk aliens that help her reverse time, or beams kids away from speeding cars about to hit them.  Still, saving kids from drowning is described as "a less-stupid version of Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow". It also includes a really sharp riff by Mike Nelson that's got to be heard.

Finally, all of the guests return to take on the second half of "Setting Up A Room", which turns out more tedious than rock climbing. It does start with a "previously on" review that may look familiar to fans of a certain podcast. This sets a new record for most people riffing on a lousy education film (not including DVD commentaries), and might prove that combining the Rifftrax and MST3K riffers into a super-group just might work for one night (like maybe against, oh, Twilight?)

The new Sketchfest show is now available for $9.99 ($11.99 for HD) at the website, along with the 2013 Sketchfest show.

Also, the Kickstarter campaign for fund this year's Rifftrax Live shows known as "The Crappening" is still in full swing. They'll take on The Room, Sharknado 2, Miami Connection, and another version of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.  It's currently at 162 thousand dollars, but it it reaches $200 thousand, people will finally get a riff of the final Harry Potter movie, $225 thousand will add a new Tommy Wiseau-inspired Rifftrax t-shirt, and $250 thousand means people who donate at least 75 bucks will get copies of  three Rifftrax Live shows. It won't include The Room, because you still have to look for that DVD--on purpose--to enjoy the mp3 riff.

Karen Gillan Has A Thrilling Evening in San Francisco

It's been several months since Karen Gillan flipped her wig at Comic-Con in San Diego, revealing a bald head as part of her role in Guardians of the Galaxy. This past Saturday, she sported a nice short hairstyle when she was one of the guest stars of the San Francisco Sketchfest's annual broadcast of the Thrilling Adventure Hour. It took place at the Marines Memorial Theater on Sutter. The place was fairly packed for both performances. Most were long-time fans, but some were there to see her, Kevin Murphy from MST3K, David Foley from Kids in the Hall and Jason Ritter from Parenthood.

She was featured in the first part, a new adventure with Sparks Nevada, Marshall on Mars. He had to deal with a new sheriff who really doesn't want the job (Foley), his alien sidekick learning about sarcasm, and an invading alien empress (Gillan) and her confused yet deadly robot servant. Her accent seemed to be a blend of Glascow and Park Avenue, but the crowd was very happy to see her. Aside from Guardians, she'll be in a horror movie called Oculus, about an evil mirror, that's coming in April.

Part two was a time-travel adventure with Colonel Tick-Tock, which was really out there compared to Peabody and Sherman. He tried to get the Wright Brothers to invent the airplane despite interference from a mischievous being from the Blue Dimension (Paul F. Tompkins). Let's just say this guy was so annoying Q from ST:TNG would punch him in the mouth. This wasn't as strong as the first two parts, but I did like its version of Kitty Hawk, whose plans to cause and cure cancer were kind of odd....at first. Anyway, John DiMaggio from Futurama and 2000 other cartoon shows was one of the brothers.

The third part, Beyond Belief, about a swanky couple who encounter strange events, was a good closer. Imagine this couple at a vacation house, encountering a troubled romantic couple that may remind people of The Little Mermaid and The Incredible Mr. Limpet. Add some singing forest creatures who want a happy ending...or else...and you've got one weird story. Aside from Tompkins, it had Paget Brewster from Criminal Minds (just in time for the 200th episode) and Jason Ritter from Parenthood.

Kevin didn't have a specific role, but he was in the chorus for the ads, and one of the forest creatures. He's also pretty good with the ukelele.

Of course, there were the traditional ads for Work Juice Coffee and Patriot Cigarettes
Here's another link to the TAH with this demo reel.

Oh, I did get Karen's autograph, the first one connected with Dr. Who since I got John Barrowman's autograph several years ago. Now, if only Matt Smith can be persuaded to have a thrilling adventure that lasts an hour.